Seven Deadly Sins of Relationships

I set dadsy up with Google Reader the other week so that I had someone to share all my awesome websites with. He likes gadgets, so I set him up with Boing Boing. He likes personal development, so I set him up with The Positivity Blog. He likes puppies so I set him with I Has A Hotdog and Daily Puppy (thanks Desci!). He likes religion so I set him up with A Buddhist Perspective. He likes making fun of mumsy, so I set him up with Postcards from Yo Mama.

This week he sent me a post that he got from Zen Habits (that I've now added to my feeder) that he liked and thought I would like, that I did like and that The Hun dismissed as rubbish, that I am now sharing with you.

The Seven Deadly Sins of a Relationship
from Zen Habits by Leo

“Remember, we all stumble, every one of us. That’s why it’s a comfort to go hand in hand.” - Emily Kimbrough

While I can’t claim to be the world’s foremost expert on relationships, I do know that my wife and I have a very strong marriage, and have never been more in love.

I’ve failed at marriage before, but that’s helped me become better at it. I’ve learned the deadly sins of relationships, and how to recognize them and avoid them.

A reader, newly married, asked me to share my tips on how to make a marriage work. I wish I had a magic formula, but here’s a simple list of tips:

• spend time alone together;
• appreciate each other;
• be intimate often;
• talk and share and give.

But just as important as what you should do is what you shouldn’t do — and I’m sure many of you have stepped into these pitfalls yourselves. I know I have. I’ve learned from my mistakes, and have learned to recognize when I’m making a fatal error, and how to correct it.

If you can avoid these seven things, and focus instead on doing the four things above, you should have a strong relationship. I’m not going to guarantee anything, but I’d give you good odds. :)

1. Resentment. This is a poison that starts as something small (”He didn’t get a new roll of toilet paper” or “She doesn’t wash her dishes after she eats”) and builds up into something big. Resentment is dangerous because it often flies under our radar, so that we don’t even notice we have the resentment, and our partner doesn’t realize that there’s anything wrong. If you ever notice yourself having resentment, you need to address this immediately, before it gets worse. Cut it off while it’s small. There are two good ways to deal with resentment: 1) breathe, and just let it go — accept your partner for who she/he is, faults and all; none of us is perfect; or 2) talk to your partner about it if you cannot accept it, and try to come up with a solution that works for both of you (not just for you); try to talk to them in a non-confrontational way, but in a way that expresses how you feel without being accusatory.
2. Jealousy. It’s hard to control jealousy if you feel it, I know. It seems to happen by itself, out of our control, unbidden and unwanted. However, jealousy, like resentment, is relationship poison. A little jealousy is fine, but when it gets to a certain level it turns into a need to control your partner, and turns into unnecessary fights, and makes both parties unhappy. If you have problems with jealousy (like I once did), instead of trying to control them it’s important that you examine and deal with the root issue, which is usually insecurity. That insecurity might be tied to your childhood (abandonment by a parent, for example), in a past relationship where you got hurt, or in an incident or incidents in the past of your current relationship.
3. Unrealistic expectations. Often we have an idea of what our partner should be like. We might expect them to clean up after themselves, to be considerate, to always think of us first, to surprise us, to support us, to always have a smile, to work hard and not be lazy. Not necessarily these expectations, but almost always we have expectations of our partner. Having some expectations is fine — we should expect our partner to be faithful, for example. But sometimes, without realizing it ourselves, we have expectations that are too high to meet. Our partner isn’t perfect — no one is. We can’t expect them to be cheerful and loving every minute of the day — everyone has their moods. We can’t expect them to always think of us, as they will obviously think of themselves or others sometimes too. We can’t expect them to be exactly as we are, as everyone is different. High expectations lead to disappointment and frustration, especially if we do not communicate these expectations. How can we expect our partner to meet these expectations if they don’t know about them? The remedy is to lower your expectations — allow your partner to be himself/herself, and accept and love them for that. What basic expectations we do have, we must communicate clearly.
4. Not making time. This is a problem with couples who have kids, but also with other couples who get caught up in work or hobbies or friends and family or other passions. Couples who don’t spend time alone together will drift apart. And while spending time together when you’re with the kids or other friends and family is a good thing, it’s important that you have time alone together. Can’t find time with all the things you have going on — work and kids and all the other stuff? Make time. Seriously — make the time. It can be done. I do it — I just make sure that this time with my wife is a priority, and I’ll drop just about anything else to make the time. Get a babysitter, drop a couple commitments, put off work for a day, and go on a date. It doesn’t have to be an expensive date — some time in nature, or exercising together, or watching a DVD and having a home-cooked dinner, are all good options. And when you’re together, make an effort to connect, not just be together.
5. Lack of communication. This sin affects all the others on this list — it’s been said many times before, but it’s true: good communication is the cornerstone of a good relationship. If you have resentment, you must talk it out rather than let the resentment grow. If you are jealous, you must communicate in an open and honest manner to address your insecurities. If you have expectations of your partner, you must communicate them. If there are any problems whatsoever, you must communicate them and work them out. Communication doesn’t just mean talking or arguing — good communication is honest without being attacking or blaming. Communicate your feelings — being hurt, frustrated, sorry, scared, sad, happy — rather than criticizing. Communicate a desire to work out a solution that works for you both, a compromise, rather than a need for the other person to change. And communicate more than just problems — communicate the good things too (see below for more).
6. Not showing gratitude. Sometimes there are no real problems in a relationship, such as resentment or jealousy or unrealistic expectations — but there is also no expression of the good things about your partner either. This lack of gratitude and appreciation is just as bad as the problems, because without it your partner will feel like he or she is being taken for granted. Every person wants to be appreciated for all they do. And while you might have some problems with what your partner does (see above), you should also realize that your partner does good things too. Does she wash your dishes or cook you something you like? Does he clean up after you or support you in your job? Take the time to say thank you, and give a hug and kiss. This little expression can go a long way.
7. Lack of affection. Similarly, everything else can be going right, including the expression of gratitude, but if there is no affection among partners then there is serious trouble. In effect, the relationship is drifting towards a platonic status. That might be better than many relationships that have serious problems, but it’s not a good thing. Affection is important –everyone needs some of it, especially from someone we love. Take the time, every single day, to give affection to your partner. Greet her when she comes home from work with a tight hug. Wake him up with a passionate kiss (who cares about morning breath!). Sneak up behind her and kiss her on the neck. Make out in the movie theater like teen-agers. Caress his back and neck while watching TV. Smile at her often.
8. Bonus sin: Stubbornness. This wasn’t on my original list but I just thought about it before publishing this post, and had to add it in. Every relationship will have problems and arguments — but it’s important that you learn to work out these problems after cooling down a bit. Unfortunately, many of us are too stubborn to even talk about things. Perhaps we always want to be right. Perhaps we never want to admit that we made a mistake. Perhaps we don’t like to say we’re sorry. Perhaps we don’t like to compromise. I’ve done all of these things — but I’ve learned over the years that this is just childish. When I find myself being stubborn these days, I try to get over this childishness and suck it up and put away my ego and say I’m sorry. Talk about the problem and work it out. Don’t be afraid to be the first one to apologize. Then move past it to better things.
   

“I felt it shelter to speak to you.” - Emily Dickinson

Take it as you like. I'm going to take it and print it and stick it to the fridge.

Crime Spree

Well - we had an exciting night last night.

Eldest bro and his gf came past to pick up The Hun and I to take us to mumsy and dadsy's. My aunty was celebrating her 40th birthday at a pub out in whoop-whoop and eldest bro would drive himself, his gf, The Hun and I and middle bro would drive himself, youngest bro, mumsy and dadsy because that's just the way you have to roll when you're invited places as a pack of eight.

We played some Mario Kart first (if you or a friend of yours has a Wii then you MUST already know this!) and I got my lose on, before we realised it was 6pm and time to bundle off for the long drive out. Eldest bro only had a quarter tank of petrol in his gf's car, so we went to the local service station, filled up and waited for the other car to turn up. It didn't. A call from middle bro told us that they couldn't find dadsy's car keys so we decided to come back to the house and wait there.

Cue a scene of eight people looking in every possible place for at least one of two sets of keys - youngest bro was sure he left them on his desk in the garage (his computer is in the shed as he is a young adult and the KFC wrappers, coke cans and empty bottles of beam were drawing mice into the house. Problem solved - put him in the garage with the cars).

Youngest bro was the first to decide the keys had been stolen. The garage door was left up, the computer screen was illuminating a few things, the sensor light wasn't on - someone must have just snuck up the driveway and knicked them. "What about those guys standing two houses up the middle of the street? They were there when we left to get petrol and they were still there when we came back?" - so dadsy, middle bro and eldest bro headed up the street to talk the three youngish looking men. I'm not sure what they asked exactly, but they told them that some keys had gone missing and had they seen anything? The guys responded with no they hadn't, had the car been stolen?, and that they were just there waiting for a friend so they could all go to a party. Then they started walking up the street.

Dadsy, middle bro and eldest bro came back to the house then middle bro and eldest bro headed back out with a torch, sure that the guys on the street had them and hoping that they'd chuck the keys now that they were onto them. They reasoned that they must be lying because they weren't waiting for their friend, so they snuck off after them with a torch, scanning the street from a distance and eavesdropping on what the guys were saying: 'Do you have any transport?'.

Back at the house, mumsy called her sister to let her know we wouldn't be able to make it, and sorry that they'd know have eight empty seats - unluckilly, her car decided to stop working earlier that morning and two visits from the NRMA had shown that it was just f*cked and needed to be towed - it was sitting in the garage with the keys in the ignition. While mumsy was on the phone, youngest bro was relaying his reasoning for the keys having to have been stolen - earlier that night he'd put some DVD's in the back of dadsy's car and put the car keys on the desk next to where middle bro had put the other set of keys earlier that night. As he put the keys down he saw another DVD he wanted to watch (dadsy's car is a big commodore thing he got through work that has a wanky DVD player in the back seat). He picked it up and went to put it in the car, realised it was locked, was too lazy to go back to get the keys so left the DVD on the roof of the car and went back into the house where we all were. The car was now unlocked. Someone had to have touched the keys.

This was enough to convince dadsy to call the police (Thanks ACT police! Thanks for NOTHING!) and a locksmith - one of the sets of keys had all the housekeys on it as well. We decided that as the meal was meant to be at a pub that night, we'd get some pizza and some grog and watch a few movies. Mumsy placed the order and I begged eldest bro to take me down to the groggo while we picked up dinner. There are two groggos at the local shops - one near the pizza place and one near the woolies - eldest bro wanted some snacks, so we headed up the woolies groggo.

On the drive into the shopping centre eldest bro told me about what he had planned to say in the confrontation - I had no idea what I would have said. His tactic was to explain that to put their mind at ease could they please empty their pockets, and if they couldn't then they would call the police - they really didn't want to take it that far, but they needed some peace of mind. We were discussing the events of the evening as we walked past the fish and chip shop and saw some guys walking out. I was thinking to myself how terrible the youth of today are, whilst eldest bro recognised them as the guys from the street. He didn't say anything, but as we walked towards Woolies we were talking about how shady it was - they weren't going to a party, they'd walked up for fish and chips. Something was fishy (pun half intended).

We got some biscuits and soft drinks, then headed into the groggo. I picked up some double strength cruisers (lemon and lime! yum!) and then we headed to the counter to pay for them - there were a few woolies staff standing around the entrance, looking serious and chatting animatedly. "Surely you'd notice if you dropped your keys!". Hrm! We stood at the counter and as one of the guys got ready to scan our drinks I asked him if someone else had lost some keys tonight as we'd lost some as well. He looked at us cryptically and we eventually told him that we'd had two pairs of keys stolen from our house and that the guys that had been hanging around our street that we think stole them had just walked out of the fish and chip shop. This is when the shop guy started acting really weird (perhaps he didn't want to incriminate anyone) and told us that we should call the police and let them know that our stolen keys may be related to an 'incident' that had occured earlier that night. He said that they had a pair of keys in the safe, that they had prints of the guys,that they had photos of at least two of the three guys that had been in the shop and that the takeaway across the way would have clear photos of their faces.

'Wouldn't it be exciting if it were them! Then they could get caught!'. We gave dadsy's details to the shop guy and he promised to call them in the morning. On the way out we saw that there was a camera outside the fish and chip shop, that centre management would be able to see the footage of eldest bro and I walking in, and those guys walking out.

Dadsy received a phone call this morning - yes, it was our keys. Those three guys had tried to steal some grog from woolies. They also stole grog from two houses up - the house they were standing outside. How much of a fluke is that?!

$750 later for lock changing, dadsy has to stay home tomorrow to get the car keys changed - the guys still have one set of keys and have not been caught.

Just who are these fearless types of people that steal grog from a house, stand outside to drink it, steal two sets of car keys and wait near the house to rob it, try to steal some grog, get caught and go to another shop in the centre to get dinner?!

ePen's eBay eXcite

Well - colour me addicted!

I put four items up for sale last week - three Nintendo DS games and a Sony PSP game. I snooped around a little, looked at what people where charging for postage, photographed my items on my good white pillowcase, ripped off Jen's layout for the ad and started them low at $9.90 a cartridge. It wasn't looking too exciting, with two of the games sitting at about $11 each (what I would have got for trade-in anyway), one sitting at the reserve and one with zero bids on the morning of the last day. However, the last hour? Total excitment!

The two that were at about $11 ended up at $14.50 and $15.50.
The one at reserve ended up at $ 17.59.
The one with no bids ended up at $19.45!
That's over $67 total!

I was stoked - totally casino style with the rubbing of the hands and the chanting of 'more! More! MORE! Pappa needs some new shoes!' - whilst The Hun could only look on his madwoman with a combination of intrigue and embarrassment.

I have received money from two people and mailed their items (postage was only $2 and I charged $6!), one has payment pending and one is yet to get in touch with me. Which is fine. Because I am TOTALLY fine with advertising all over again.

Now, should I do some jewellery or shoes next...?!

Pedal, Pedal, Pedal

Tonight, for the first time in a few years, I will be participating in a cycle class. RPM to be more precise.

I'm a little more than terrified.

I loved it when I was doing it most weekdays at the gym across the road from work - sure, I wanted to vomit everywhere then nestle down in it and die after the first class, but after the first few weeks my butt was immune to the pain, I wasn't panting like a St Bernard as soon as it started and the gross amounts of sweat I put out were finally a medal rather than something to feel embarrassed about. But the thing that I loved most about it was that I was often the best in the class at it, or least one of the top performers.

I'm really hoping I can get back into the groove with it - I'm hoping to make it three times a week and still go to a pump class as well. I'm hoping my clicky knee doesn't give me grief and allow me to just give up. I'm hoping I'm not intimidated by the people who will be in there who will most probably definitely be fitter than me. I'm hoping these giant man legs I've been 'gifted' with will come in handy... Wish me luck, ppl!

THEN go wish the amazing Mr Adam a very happy birthday!!

Making chocolate babies

I saw this quite some time ago now and left it in my tabs so I'd remember to post it.

Question: would you eat it?

3 year annivesary / 21 in dog years

Three years and ??? posts later - I like to think I'm getting only better with age, but I guess I can never be sure (you probably can).

Without further ado, allow me to continue the traditions of 2006 and 2007 by wrapping up the third year of 'Welcome to the Enny-Pen':

17/04 - The previous wrapup post
24/04 - Update from Thailand
30/04 - Update from Japan
09/05 - Holiday wrapup
10/05 - Toilet talk
11/05 - Wakeup calls
13/05 - Happy Birthday and anniversary middle bro
16/05 - Busy with uni and vegan popcorn
17/05 - Uni ramblings learning about kg/mgb
19/05 - Talking in code to the watchers
22/05 - Lazy dinner pasta recipe
26/05 - Considering job applications
27/05 - Joined MySpace
29/05 - More coded ramblings
01/06 - Submitted job application
04/06 - Photoshopping mole removal
05/06 - Funny day in the life of a vegan
07/06 - Knee mole deemed harmless
08/06 - 100 things about me
11/06 - Exam study makes tumbleweeds
13/06 - Exams are finished
14/06 - Of religion and trained beliefs
17/06 - 400th post: Awarding my readers
19/06 - Meme: 8 random things about me
20/06 - Flu and Lolcat
24/06 - More flu and almost house inspection
26/06 - Buhbye face moles!
28/06 - Thoughts on the new face holes
30/06 - Hypothetical proposals
03/07 - Dotpoints: No proposal, moles or landlord, Facebook and uni results
07/07 - Billy Bragg lyrics 'Must I paint you a picture'
08/07 - Lame 21st party
10/07 - Facebook off video
12/07 - Regina Spektor show
15/07 - Potentially engaged friends and more Regina Spektor
17/07 - Ski trip!
19/07 - Canberra blog competition
22/07 - 80s night and meeting Mick
24/07 - Still no house inspection
26/07 - No piercings or Qld holiday
28/07 - Please read this to see why I am vegan
31/07 - Moping on being left behind
02/08 - Practicing my ANTM walk
04/08 - LG15 finale
05/08 - Dotpoints: Idol, Simpsons Movie, Suits, Shoes, Elvis and Karma
08/08 - My Pa's Car
12/08 - Another day, another diet
14/08 - More on the diet, milk traces and detox
16/08 - Planning a Melbourne meetup
21/08 - Dotpoints: Weightloss, tattoos, shoes, bags and cookbooks
23/08 - Melbourne and Canberra blogmeets
26/08 - Melbourne wrapup
28/08 - The Huns infamous Voldemort mole joke
01/09 - Dotpoints: Uni, Ratatouillie, No Reservations and Club Med
02/09 - Ben Stiller vs Vince Vaughan
04/09 - Startling truth (burp)
06/09 - Ironly, need and want
09/09 - Martial arts camp
10/09 - Humbling smiles
15/09 - Flower Day!
16/09 - Uni cram
20/09 - Another lame apology
22/09 - Cancer in my friend
25/09 - Dexter yum
27/09 - Bjork announces tour, Angus & Julia Stone, Muse, Homebake & Big Day Out
30/09 - SuperBad at Dendy Premier Lounge
03/10 - Prepping for dress advice
04/10 - Request for dress advice
07/10 - Musicals, Moscato and Flowering Dogwood
09/10 - Boxing and bagging Rebel Sport
10/10 - Buying Big Day Out tickets - ugh
12/10 - Feeling good about uni (for once!)
14/10 - Angus & Julia Stone at the UC Bar
16/10 - Hypotheticals in traffic lines and lanes
20/10 - Dot Points: uni, running, doctor, bike, magazine, book, Qld and pretty
21/10 - Parents looking for blog
23/10 - Spicy curry too damn spicy
24/10 - More dress advice please
25/10 - Shocking fast, exam and porn
28/10 - Two weddings
30/10 - Seeking help on voting
01/11 - Almost dotpoints: Uni, weddings, running, blood tests, books and festivals
06/11 - Intermittent explanation
06/11 - Blue Mountains wedding update
07/11 - Bjork ticket fiasco
08/11 - Meme: Five question interview
11/11 - Body image issues
13/11 - More on Skinny Bitch
15/11 - Vegetarian Dadsy!
18/11 - Muse wrapup
19/11 - More info on election voting
20/11 - Meme: Five question interview (again!)
22/11 - Dotpoints: Veggie parents, Tupperware, 21st, ho's, Max the dog, Wii and Old.
25/11 - Homebake timetable
27/11 - Tired of feeling tired
29/11 - Max is feeling unwell
02/12 - More on Max
03/12 - Max in Sydney Vet
04/12 - Using Google Feeder
05/12 - Max has passed
09/12 - Back from Sydney
10/12 - Dotpoints: Cuzmas, Max, WWED, Homebake, Hash Browns, Bowling, Acrylics and Books
13/12 - Work Kris Kringle
14/12 - Passing of a friend
18/12 - 'Joy of living'
19/12 - Charity gift giving
21/12 - Happiness testing
24/12 - Half nekkid Christmas men
27/12 - Dotpoints: Christmas, Gifts, Wii, DS, Thongs, Coast, Grandparents, Puppies, Vegas and Bjork
30/12 - Resoluations that wont, might and should happen
02/01 - Dotpoints: New Years, Darjeeling Limited, Golden Compass and DS Games
04/01 - Meme: Wrapup 2007
07/01 - Requesting questions for the 500th post
09/01 - My reader wants me to read me
10/01 - Come on in the checkout line
12/01 - Meme: Eight things
14/01 - 24 lonely hours in the life of enny
16/01 - Big Day Out timetable
17/01 - Dotpoints: Bro's are back, Riding, Charting, Juno, Work, Tickets and Wii
19/01 - 500th post - you interviewed me!
22/01 - Ready for Bjork
26/01 - Sydney: Bjork, Big Day Out and Zoo
28/01 - Toilet cleaning question
30/01 - Spiffy Queensland apartments
01/02 - Meme: Archives post
04/02 - Intermission
05/02 - The Amazing Adverntures of Diet Girl!
07/02 - Beautiful shoes for a wedding
10/02 - Family Tea and naughty ear cleaning pleasure
12/02 - Pigeons with arms
14/02 - War Child Charity Fundraising
17/02 - Going public and Meme: CD Cover
19/02 - Feeling stupid: Bike, shoes and cars
20/02 - Eye test and Queensland
27/01 - Queensland wrapup
01/03 - Meme: 15 movies
03/03 - Itchy ITCHY!
05/03 - Bad jobs and conditions
06/03 - I'm being copied!
09/03 - Smells like baby
11/03 - Dawsons Creek finale
13/03 - Musing on the ex
16/03 - Look at all my shoes!
18/03 - Trying to re-blurb the blog
21/03 - National Folk Festival Day One
22/03 - National Folk Festival Day Two
22/03 - National Folk Festival Day Three
23/03 - National Folk Festival Day Four
24/03 - National Folk Festival Day Five
26/03 - Happy (early) Birthday poetry
28/03 - Birthday wrapup
29/03 - Crazy nude dream
31/03 - Foot tattoos
02/04 - Cajon drum
04/04 - Spiffy new hair!
06/04 - Thinking grounded
08/04 - Whinging dots
10/04 - Not as whingy dotpoints
13/04 - Headache
15/04 - Broken Wii and eBay

Hooray!

Wii intermission

This will only be a quickie - we found out the fine lines we were seeing in some of our Wii games is a video card overheat thing, so I spent the best part of half an hour this afternoon trying to find the receipt.

Pro: I'm a pack rat.
Con: This means I have LOTS of receipt looking papers.
Pro: It was bound to be somewhere.
Con: Lotsa pack ratting means lots of pack ratting places (filing cabinet, memory boxes, bedside drawers, current handbag pockets, current purse pockets, old handbags old purses...).

It was in my organiser (of course! Why didn't I look there first!) and I found the box as well so I'm all ready to take it back tomorrow and hopefully get us a brand newie *fingers crossed*. Bummer is that we forgot to get our Mii's and I lose my Guitar Hero progress.

While I was talking to the friendly shop gentlemen I asked him how much I could get for my much beloved DS games (no longer needed) were I to trade them in. Answer: Nintendogs Daschund and Friends = $11.

$11?!

So tonight, I foray into eBaying.

Heaven help us all.

Headache

I woke up with a headache yesterday - something that is not as uncommon as it used to be. When I was younger I'd only get the occasionally, but I'd be able to sleep them off - they'd be gone after a nap or the next morning. These days, not so much.

When I gave blood on Thursday I was asked if I'd taken any pain medication in the past seven days - I realised I'd had ibuprofen (it's in Nurofen, but I take it in Herron Blue because it comes in a handy handbag pack) on Monday night and Saturday night. She told me she hoped it wasn't for the same headache and I reassured her that no, it wasn't.

As I lay in bed with a dull thumping behind my right eye I counted the amount of ibuprofen I had taken recently: 2 last Friday, 2 on Saturday, 2 on Monday, 2 on Thursday, 2 on Friday, 2 on Friday night. Hrm.

I decided (and The Hun insisted) that I perhaps give it a break. Obviously the headache couldn't have been withdrawals (having taken 4 in the past 24 hours) but it can't be very good for me. At all.

I must say, yesterday was a sh!tty day. I drove over to The Hun's mechanic friends place so his car could get serviced, I made Hash Browns for breakfast (ZomgSoGood*) and then I lay about on the couch for 5 hours moping and pouting and napping and considering just taking the tablets. At Jey's suggestion I heated up my wheatbag for my neck (all headaches seem to come with some neck pain for me) which didn't really help but felt lovely and cosy. At another of Jey's suggestions I nagged The Hun for a neck massage which was nice, but also rather unhelpful. The fixer? Heading over to The Hun's parents for dinner with his grandparents - 2 vegan sausages, a turkish roll, a baked potato, some fruit, some cashews and tonnes of those Rosemary and sea salt biscuits.

So, first step is going to be trying to cut out the ibuprofen. I'm hoping it's not too much of a big deal, but if yesterdays headache had occurred on a weekday I'd have been completely useless (or more so).

Then, I'm going to try to cut back on processed foods. Which really, won't be too big a deal - mainly my snacks and my redeye (Sob! Goodbye love!). But, no rush - gradual might be the way to go (those caffeine withdrawal headaches are going to be a total b!tch without ibuprofen!).

*Hash Browns:
- Grate a small onion into a bowl and grate three peeled potatoes into another bowl.
- Heat a frypan on medium and add half a tablespoon of olive oil and half a tablespoon of Nuttelex.
- Cook a third of the onion.
- Squeeze one third of the potato between paper towels to get out as much of the juices as you can, then add to the frypan and squoosh flat with spatula.
- Cook for roughly five minutes until the bottom side is cooked then remove.
- Add half a teaspoon of olive oil and half a teaspoon of Nuttelex into the pan and put the uncooked side of the hash brown down into the pan.
- Cook for another five minutes until you're happy, remove from pan and cover in salt, exclaim to all a sundry how fantastic it is.

FYI: "When it rains, it pours" also applies to dots

• Firstly, most importantly, Rory McLeod is playing this Sunday at the Folkus. Canberrans: BE THERE!!
  

• I gave blood today - my haemoglobin was higher, my blood pressure was lower and my blood flowed faster than the lady I went with. GoooOOOOO VEGAN!

• Speaking of which - I'll have been vegan for 2 years in just less than two months.

• Speaking of landmarks - next week I'll have been blogging for three years. Woah. I always seem to be having some sort of celebration in these parts.
  

• Next Thursday is potentially monumental in other ways - basically, an agreement was made a few months ago where, to encourage some hard-core saving for a house from yours truly, where when I reached a certain balance in my savings account I would be rewarded with something I am very keen to be rewarded with. Next Thursday is next payday, so be sure to tune in! Although, if you've been here over 12 months already you'd realise that my anniversary is always celebrated with a summary post, so you might have to wait a little longer. Still tune in, though!
  

• Have you guys tried those Darrel Lea Muskettes? I got a bag for my birthday and they've been sitting my bottom drawer but today I tried them devoured them. Aw man, so good!
  

• My ability to procrastinate has officially astounded me. In less than 24 hours time I will be driving to uni to hand it in and it is currently less than 25% complete. Tsk Tsk Tsk. I often think that had I realised in High School and College just how easy the work was and just done it I could have got myself a better UAI. But then I see myself at 26 on the couch in my lazy apnts desperately looking for people to play Scramble with and know that it just wouldn't have happened.
  

• The Hun has lost his sunglasses - anyone know where they might be? The way he has been carrying on you would think he has lost his toe bone - might you have seen it? (A zillion dollars to anyone who knows where that is from!).
  

• I've had my fill of being run around girl this week. The bro's sent an email around detailing Warehouse Winter Festival which sounds totally exciting - so I forwarded on to some of my friends who I thought would be interested (3 guys, 2 girls). There was a whole bunch of d!cking around with chasing up prices and bank deposits to the point I was finally ready to get middle bro to buy 6 tickets for me. Then another one of the guys emailed me saying 'oh, you'll probably have to get ours as well'. Eck-f*cking-scuse me? Then youngest bro asked me to get his as he is po' (which I didn't actually mind), but then the other guy emailed everyone in a tone that insinuated it was our fault for not telling him to transfer money earlier. Gah.
  

• But Winter Festival = exciting! Canberrans: BE THERE!!!

• That was then followed up by my having to chase a woman around to give her her Entertainment book (interested? I'm selling! Buy from me!!!!).
  

• RPM class starts at my gym on the 22nd of the month and I am keenly anticipating the fitness that will come with it while voluntarily forgetting the terrible pain caused by the bike seats, the gagging caused by my unfitness, and the sweaty sweatiness that occurs while I pedal like the Wizard of Oz witch. I plan to go three times a week and one Pump class, but it will remain to be seen whether I can keep that up. Have I told you guys about our plan to ride to the coast at the end of the year?!
  

• I feel like I've gotten more looks since the change in hair. Of course, I could be looking for it, but I find it amazing that all I had to do to start liking my hair was get a good straightener and dye it. AMAZING!
  

• Did you know that PMS can share the same symptoms as pregnancy? That is, if you're late in starting, have experience some spotting, feel generally queasy, dizzy and headachey then you are just as likely to be feeling pregnant as you are ready to surf the crimson wave? Welcome to my world, people, it's always the worst case scenarion in here*.
  

• *Of course, being pregnant would not be the worlds worst thing. I would just like it to happen after I'm married and after I've seen a nutrionist to make sure I'm not raising a munchkin living on alchohol, vegan timtams and turkish bread.

Whingey almost Wednesdays

Oh, you guys, I think I've got the whingies.
I'll do y'all a favour and try to construct it around dotpoints, and perhaps the merry little dots will make it all not so bad?!

• I took Friday off to catch up on uni work. So you know what I did? Woke up with one of my eye migraines, sat on Facebook and my Reader for 6 hours, wrote two lines of one assignment, got a major eye migraine, napped for 90 minutes, brought in the washing then went out to dinner for The Huns birthday. Totally. Not. Efficient.

• Saturday I took The Hun in to get a haircut (I can't believe I just wrote 'headache' just then) because his hairdresser of like 20 years has changed shops so he thought it might be time for a change. But he didn't know who to go to. And he wanted to go to a girl because the one time he deviated from his girl hairdresser he got an ugly bowl cut. And he didn't want to call up asking for a girl because that sounds sleazy. And he didn't want to go alone. And he didn't know what he wanted done. Boys! *sigh*
  

• After the haircut (I played Cooking Mama while it was being done) we picked up some supplies for the party that evening, got home and cleaned a bit, then I had lunch with Jey (who was visiting Canberra for her brother's birthday) and we both had awesome burgers at Satis. It's pretty hippie BUT the food was great, and the taste I had of Jey's dessert was divine - will hafta take The Hun back there! It was great to catch up with Jey (yay nerdfests!) and it was also entertaining to be told by a toothless guy that the actor that plays Ray Romano's brother was shopping in the IGA next door - I have no idea if that was true or not...!

• The Hun's friends came over from 4, I stopped after four drinks at 7pm with a headache, and as a sign of our aging most of our friends had left by 10:30pm, with middle bro, youngest bro and The Hun's workmate leaving at around 11:30pm. Sunday was spent sitting on my ass playing Scramble on facebook. Way to go with the study there, enny...

• I had a test this morning and I wasn't overly stressed about it (probably helps explain the lack of serious study) - it's like the only unit I've ever done where the stuff just seems to make sense. It helps it combines a fair bit of info from units we've done before and stuff that I do from work. Perhaps I've found my calling in human resource management?!

• On a similar note, the other unit I'm doing is complete shite. I have an assignment due this week that is worth 7.5% and needs a whole bunch of d!cking around to complete it. So instead I whine about how ridiculous it is for them to ask us to price financial modeling software instead of trying to find out some financial modelling software prices. GAH.

• Work has killed me this week, and it's only Tuesday. Who knows what will come tomorrow?

• I love the whole end of Daylight Savings where you get the extra hour but I am totally stuffed. I might try and nap a little - I promise to start that assignment tomorrow...!
  

Grounded again

Three firm olives and one soft, squishing between her fingers for a sandwich. It was only a few hours before she'd had the oven toasted turkish bread slathered in her margarine, but she'd been craving her weekday standard since she spotted the olives in the fridge again.

The hummus was thick, the bread was soft from it's stint in the microwave, the lettuce was not too bad considering the bad was opened almost a week ago, and the semi-dried tomatoes were always in good form.

She remembered the advice she was given earlier in the week, to push the soap pump down with the back of her hand before attempting the tap handle - he did not enjoy the lingering smell of olive brine on his hands as much as she did.

She turned off the tap and listened to him outside, sweeping off the table as he talked to a friend of his. She smiled as she though of the different friends he had and the different ways they chose to show their affection - to ask for his advice, to support the same teams, to discuss future children's names.

And as she returned to the bench to close off her sandwich she realised how lucky she was. How lucky she was to share this affordable home with the man she loved, the man looked up to by so many, the man who looked up to her. That she was able to fulfill her hunger with a readily stocked fridge and cupboard, that she'd had the time to celebrate a birthday with friends the night before, that she was dressed warmly and could enjoy the sunlight streaming through the kitchen window.

This is the way she should appreciate her life - this is the person she should choose to be.

Happy Birthday, Mr The Hun!

Today is The Hun's birthday!

Point of interest: The Hun is 8 days younger than me.
Point of interest part2: The Hun's mum is 8 days younger than my mum.
Both of our mums were the same age when they had their first born!

Weird, huh?

He's had a good day so far - he forgot to set his alarm and I'm having a day off to study (no, really, I HAVE to study today!) but I luckily woke up at 8am to check if he was meant to be at work. Turns out he was, but he still had time for his presents - I got him some track pants so he stops stealing mine (my lazy pants!), The Panics CD (I wanted to get Whitley but the guy kept referring to Chris Whitley and that didn't sound right) and a self-inflating air mattress (he wanted a fishing rod and I downright refuse to buy him one, so the air mattress was a compromise).

We're off to dinner tonight with his parents at Rama's (one of our favorite restaurants that we try to go to each year for Valentine's Day) which should be awesome... and somewhat monuental because MY HAIR WILL BE OUT!

Those of you following along on Facebook may have seen the change already! Here's a photo of me from the last time I got my hair cut (they curled it as well!):
And as at last night:
Ten years of highlighting means that I had to dye my hair to get it near my natural colour - very exciting, how I luvs my new hair!

Updated (check out the colour!):

Okay - I promise to stop talking about it now!

Cajun Cajon

(Apologies to those that might have got just the heading as a post - I accidentally hit publish after just the title!)

Since the folk festival, I've been thinking about buying a Cajon:
You can't picture it?
Here, let me help:
Awesome, innit?

I think that after seeing the Pacific Curls play with one, hearing how easy it is for Rory McLeod to just sing a story, watching an easy songwriting process on Once and enjoying playing around with words in some of my more recent posts, I'm feeling more and more strongly that my destiny will involve sitting in the dark corner of a stage while other people do most of the hard work and I just chime in occasionally with a little beat or percussion and maybe echo what they're singing in a quite voice, perhaps a harmony if I really practice hard in my room by myself to my headphones.

Who knows, maybe one day...!