EnnyPen 101 - FINAL WEEK FOR 2005!! (*parties in head*)

Apart from considering myself an all-round ozzie chick, I also consider myself an exemplary cook, using only the choicest humbleberries for my pies.

*tiddy boom*

So, guys, I didn't speak to my tutor re: dissapointing essay mark. Everyone was right, credits should be good enough, esp considering I got HD for my speech, and am sitting on a D or HD for my tute mark, so I should still get a credit overall for course, depending on the success of my essay... and the tute was focussing on ways to do the exam essay so I don't really need to speak to him about that... so you, I'm tuckin into that there humble pie...

But only one more lecture and tute to go, the two exams and then I'm home free!

Although, I get my law marks back this afternoon, which I just may share with you as well (coz you're so, like dying to know).

There isn't much uni-wise to talk about in this late stage, so I'll finish this up and get my goss on re: martial arts camp on the w/end!

Enny Out!

Viva l'Italia!

I'd consider myself an all-round ozzie chick.

I love vegemite, and pavlova, and those seeds you buy at the Canberra show that taste like vegemite but aren't.

I love a bunch of prawns on the barbie, sitting outside in the 30+ heat with a refreshing 'alcho-pop'.

And I love sport.

Not just any sport, as you should now be aware, but rugby union. Not cricket, not AFL, not league (as much) and not soccer. Good Ol' Rugby. Noobs: see here and here and here...

I also love the The Hun. And with him comes his heritage.

Hmmm, you ask, where is she going with this?

His Italian heritage.

Allow me to present to you this ditty, courtesty of my USA friend, displaying the aw3x0m3 skillz of the Italian Rugby Union team *Girlish squeals!!!!*:

Wanna "play ball?"

He's first place in my pants heart

Do you need a bicycle built for two?

Another relaxing day in the Conder house...

Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub...



*The End*

EnnyPen 101 - Week 15

I got an 8.5/10 for my speech:

- Good intro and analysis of key terms and concepts
- Excellent use of PowerPoint
- Good analysis of key issues
- Evidence of sound research (although see notes in bibliography)
- Excellent Effort
- You need to slow down your speech!

I was pretty stoked with that - I put half of a 3 day weekend (day and night hours) for that 5 minute speech.

And I got a credit for my essay. And I know I shouldn't be, but I'm dissapointed.

Last time I did uni I scraped through, doing essays at the last minute, doing one draft and handing it in without getting anyone to see it or even running the spell check through it. Only using the textbook for info coz I didn't even take any notes coz I didn't go to lectures. And being stoked on the offchance of a credit.

This time, I analysed the key terms, concepts and issues, there was arseloads of research and a shitload of effort. I spent hours and hours and hours and hours and hours on that stupid essay. I checked of all of the hints and tips in the lecture that was dedicated on how to do well in the essay. I spoke to the tutor, to my dad and to The Hun repeatedly. I sent and resent and resent it to get a couple of people's viewpoints on it to get it the best I could. I borrowed 14 books from my parents and I had 4 pages of references. And I was proud of it at the end!!

It just feels like bullshit to see all the ticks being in the 'OK' box down the front, not even 'good', with more than like 3 quarters of the comments being about my referencing - the importance of which was not even mentioned in that 2 hour essay dedicated lecture!!

I'm going to fucking GLASS the motherfucker who invented the motherfucking Harvard Referencing system. Like if they were going to base my fucking knowledge of government, business and politics on how well I can memorise that fucking referencing system rather than what I have to say or think or found, then I should be doing six part-time years on fucking Harvard Referencing to get my fucking Bachelor of fucking Harvard Referencing, with the opportunity for Harvard Referencing with Honours or maybe my motherfucking doctorate in fucking Harvard Referencing before I graduate from mother-fucking University of fucking Harvard Referencing before my motherfucking illustrious career as a fucking motherfucking Harvard Referencer.

FUCK!

And that's ignoring that fact that I lost 2 marks for it being late which is complete bullshit and is currently being disputed.

Although it is proddly being fuelled by my eavesdropping on some cutesy 17 year old who was unhappy with her marks and took them to her lecturer and got her pass and credit upgraded to distinction and high disctinctions and all future work will be marked as though she had never done any of the course study.

And I hate sounding like a prissy snotty suckface whingy study nerd bitch.

ChickyBabe says...

Whilst over at ChickyBabes place, I read her post asking if you've ever regretted letting go of a same sex friendship.

I was going to comment, but realised that it might take up too much room (not a lot, just a little bit more than I'd like to!).

I met her through an ex. He was involved in a lot of car stuff, and she had just bought a sporty new 200sx. She brought her car round to where we were meeting, invited by a guy I didn't trust with a gf of the same name as me. She was thin, pretty, friendly, confident and everything that I wasn't. She must've known I was wary, but she still put in a constant effot, ignoring my not-so-sublte 'tood against her until I started to relax a little.

That night she hooked up with the guy I didn't trust with a gf of the same name as me.

And while I was sititing back all smirky, she came up to me and confessed to what she'd done and apologised and couldn't understand what she'd done and decided she'd go home but we'd keep in touch.

And we did.

My friendship with her has been my most unexplainable. She was everything that I wanted to be and everything I resented in 'those types of people'. She was always out, always followed by gaggles of guys, always looked fantastic and always partied hard.

She had a job out near the airport and we were in constact email contact. She was my rock and my sounding board during a very painful, confusing and conflicting breakup period - she was the perfect friend - sympathetic, understanding, helpful and always there without it ever being about her. It was during this time that I got to see the other side of her, the vulnerable side of her, the hurt side of her and the real side of her.

And when her family upped and moved to the USA - she sold me that car.

And then all of a sudden she was back!

In that time I'd finally snagged me The Hun and was about 10 kilos heaver. She'd moved into a trendy little place with some of her trendy friends. And I witnessed a gaggle of girlies dealing drugs out of their home to all these strange guys.

Now I'm the first to admit I was fairly sheltered and I'm fairly reserved. I mean, I'll swear and make dirty sex jokes and butt jokes and crap jokes and filth, Filth, FILTH; but you show me someone with drugs and I turn into the nasty aunty. I'm terrible, I hate it and you'll feel my wrath. I'll sulk, I'll yell, I'll snap, I'll cry, I'll pout, I'll ignore you and I'll do generally everything I can to act like a pouty 2 year old to show you my dissaproval.

So to see her doing that, was just to much for me. I upped it and outted it, saying I couldn't make it out on the town with them that night. And that was the last I heard from her. Whilst she had been so strong for me, she was lost to me in that moment. Something that started so unexpectedly was over just as quickly.

Scan forward a year or so later, and I got an email from her. I wasn't sure if it was meant for me, as she was writing in a fairly friendly manner, like a good friend to a good friend, and seeing as I hadn't heard from her since then, I just figured it was a mistake and ignored it. A few weeks later I got another one, and decided to answer. And now we email back and forth every week or so - granted, it's still a bit of a getting-to-know-you-again type thang but it's still nice to quasi have her back again.

She's the only one I've almost given up on, and I really hope that it keeps on.

And that's why I couldn't just stick it in the comments!

I stoled it, I dids...

I'm an Ampersand Duck lurker (she's a Canberra gal too!) and although she didn't tag me, she jus posted her results from a meme that I'd been thinking about doing something similar too it anyways...

7 things I want to do before I die:
- See Vegas, France, Japan, NY and that heart island
- Get a Company Carpark
- Have a beautiful wedding
- Have a pomeranian puppy named Buddy
- Be happy with myself
- Have at least two children
- Die peacefully

7 things I cannot do:
- I also can't drink coffee
- Jumpkick
- Let myself go
- Cry at farewells
- Get up the guts to go to a brazillian waxer
- Tell friends and family about the blog
- Let myself be tickled without kicking out frantically, even if it means The Hun cops a stray limb to the face or (heaven forbid) the balls

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex:
- Sense of humour
- Smile
- The ability to hold a conversation (listen, think and talk!)
- Thickish hair to run hands through and tug
- Cheeky sparkley eyes
- Compassion
- Intelligence
- Cute little hip-swaying, shoulder-shrugging, song-mouthing dance moves

7 things that I say most often:
- *SNAP!*
- Fuck off!
- Repetiore!
- Huuunny boooooooo (whiney like)
- Stop tickling me please!! (sternly)
- Who ate the last banana? He ate the last banana! (it's a family thang)
- Will you take me to Floriade? (I'm going with my parents tmr folks, so there'll hafta be a new one in rotation shortly...)

7 celebrity crushes:

75% of all Rugby Union Players

Dylan Moran


Drew Domkus (on right, taken from their site, with his ever-awesome wife Dawn Miceli and SuperFanFunFriend Adam Curry)

Bjork (she's my she-crush)

David Bowie in The Labyrinth

OWEN WILSON!!!

Tim from "The Office"

Tell me yours?

GoogleMap BoobleBap

Do you want to see the most wretched place to put a set of traffic lights?!

Let me set the scenario for you:

This is Tuggeranong, Canberra. Lanyon (Nappy Valley) has only got one entry from the parkway - one of the few 2 lane 100k roads in Canberra that joins woden, civic, belco and tuggers - culminating in that roundabout to the right (BigHell). If you're sneaky, you can exit the parkway a little early and drive behind tuggers, meaning you go through the little roundabout (LilHell) and then meet up at BigHell anyway. The green box is where I drive when I come past the orange buildings on my way home from work, turn left at LilHell then right at BigHell to get to my house (see diagram). This roundabout used to be such a bitch as the traffic would back up at BigHell from all the city workers coming down the parkway, and I'd hafta zip into the right lane after LilHell fairly quickly.

Let's zoom in!


See that frowny face? Thats me this afternoon. Those fuckwits have installed traffic lights on the little mini tiny road tween LilHell and BigHell. These lights are also 'part time' - meaning they're only on during the busy periods- ie, when I want to get home from work. This afternoon I had to be one of those people I hate - those arrogant sunsabitches who zip up thru the empty lane then cut in closer to BigHell - JUS SO I COULD GET HOME!! THERE'S NO OTHER WAY!!!

And yeah, I know this is boring as shit, but I spent a while gettin Google Map to work, so you can jus bask n revel in my glory and paintskillz instead.

*Mmmmm - it's so waaaaarm*

EnnyPen 101 - Week 14

I was sitting in the refect, thinkin about how I wouldn have much to write about today. I mean, I been enjoying the total lack of assessment since Wednesday when I got my old boss to drop my law assignment in for me so I could sit back and piss it up a little more at the farewell of the lady that was in charge of me. The tutor this morning told me that I'd get my (clapless) speech mark and my essay mark next week, so that's alright - I'd rather get them today, but he apparantly had an 'emergency house move' that he needed to do (I gotta remember that excuse!).

So anyways, jus as I was finishin up my new fav sandwhich ($2.20 from the student uniony place - pesto, grilled mushroom and lettuce bun) this ringer alarm thing starts going off and the cleaning-tables lady starts scootching everyone out of the refect - 'sorry everyone, evacuate please; sorry everyone, workers evacuate too please, sorry everyone, evacuate to outside please'. So I dunno WTF is going on - maybe she wanted to skive out on the busy period, or one too many hyperactive 17yo's has smeared crap all over the walls or stuck gum under the tables and she's tripped the alarm, feeling only slightly remorseful (hence the apologising).

So I come to library so I can get back onto the Wifi and notice how goddamn quiet it is in library in comparison to the refect. I get myself settled and put my iPod on - and you all remember how it was like all fucked up like a week or two ago? Well, its still fucked and it wasn't playing, so I was waiting it out. AND THEN the Dawn & Drew Show intro comes on full ball (if you haven't heard it, she's like faking orgasm) and I can't turn it out down, or stop it. So it basically sounded like I was listening to pr0n in the library and everyone could hear it.

And hopefully, thats about as exciting as today gets for me!

Famewhore, Searchwhore & Stripwhore

Please don't blame the Dawn and Drew show for my increasing crassness - I downloaded ALL of their archives and I'm striding my way thru them all in order- meaning I laugh to myself all day and can't explain what I'm laughing at coz D&D are arguing whether... hmm... I'll hafta post that when I'm drunker, I can't get that crass all of a sudden (hint: fist)...

Anyways - I'm a total famewhore now - TJ - I gotta post more cryptic links in your comments - It's doing wonders for my ego! Seriously tho? Your foot looks whack, but I think that jumping means that it's not broken. YET.

And because I've been totally slack, I thought I needed a post with a few parts in it. It's not my fault, I tell you - it's uni. Uni. UNI!!! ('What? EnnyPens at uni?' Heh heh, good one, you guys!). My famewhoredom has coincided (coninsided?!) with an increase in those things that appear in the BlogPatrol box about how people have found you thru search engines. And so, becaues I'm a Searchwhore, I figured I could cater to all of these people in one paragraph, seeing as they had the decency to follow the links to get here:

"Yoh boogers. I tell you, if you wanna pick up a sexsi woman with sexsi legs (even in a hole like kambah) then you should totally head out to like tuggies and shout ur choice some drinks - not too many, just enough so that's she's tipsy giggly and sexsi pissed. Be careful tho', coz Canberra's small and you may find some MAL HUNKS or Laurie Daley hunks or any other ex-raider hunk hanging round the next corner and they'll totally try to snag your sexsi woman. Once you've reeled her in (and saved her from the Raiders) it's time to take her back to your house... Oh no! Your brother's having a LAN? What a dork! Kick your brother in the balls and then kick my brother in the balls for good measure and then take her enny"place and then, like enny good romantic, it's time to try inserting a string in her pussy + vidéo 5 méga - whoah!! No!!! Time to let her use the bathroom and drop her home to her parents, perverts!"

You gottit - all those bolded redded terms there were succesfully used to find my blog. And I have NO idea WTF that last one was looking for, nor do I want to spend time Googlesearching to work it out!

And I know it's a crap story - but I challenge you to do any better! It's tricky!! I mean, all these seracher people are so disturbed!!! (my ego still thanks you guys for ur hits tho'!!)

Last item on the agenda - are you a Stripwhore?

What order do you get dressed/undressed?

(Yeah, and I'm the one saying that everyone else is disturbed and perverted!)

I was scoffed at last week as I was preparing for Showerfest 2005 and told something along the lines of (it was before the weekend - I can't remember that far!) that standing half naked as I was not the 'proper' way to be getting ready for a shower.

Thus, I have documented my average undress order (presuming I'm in my lazy housewear trackydacks combo):

- Trackydacks down until I get to my sock-tops, and they come off at the same time in a gorgantuous flourish

- jumper

- knickers/panties/undies/whatevs

- singlet

- bra

- hair elastics, bobby pins etc

You see, apparanly my total eagerness to release 'the downstairs' before the 'upstairs' isn't quite PC....

So, guys?

(not guys like just The Student, guys like 'guys'n'gals')
(tho I better get a Student reply on this one)

Guys?

Can you all get nekked and tell me about your order?

Thks!

EnnyPen 101 - Week 13

Ponder on this heartwenching situation: Poor lil 20-sum'n public servant, trying to gain some form of official qualification in this world of uncertain employment and Government-position unrest, spends all hours of daylight and nightime over a 3 day weekend (excluding lunch at Sushi Train on Saturday) mackin' her way through a presentation on State Sovereignty and Financial Flows AND a 2 page examination of the eBay User Agreement AND a 1500 word analysis on the current feud between Microsoft and Google over the employment of Dr Lee, that, when presented to The Hun for perousal, is found to be nowhere near legal sounding enough.

I mean, I'm all for the 'stay up all night, sleep all day, eat whatever you feel like' party-hearty uni attitude, but its sucks total arse when its due to study and not drinking or dancing or network tetris or whatever it is that uni ppl do when they're awake nowadays.

The weather in Canberra was frickin awesome this weekend - beautiful, Beautiful, BEAUTIFUL clear blue skies (albeit a lil windy) and warm sunny, er, sun that warranted both heaters being put away, and I had to spend it witheld in The Huns ironing room study. I'm sure plenty of studiers know what it feels like, but that doesn't invalidate the fact that I had to sit in my I'm-eating-whatever-I-like-coz-I'm-studying tracky pants combo and listen to The Hun and his friends rush out to play frisbees on the oval coz the weather was so delightful; or how they gathered round the telly to play car races and laugh and joke and wail (the poor dear was exhausted afterwards, bless his heart). I'm planning to frick around with that powerbox thing on the side of the house so that we can run off the pure amount of pout-age that was transmitted over the weekend, carrying over until about 10pm tonight when I can finally finish law-ing up that essay.

Anyways, I gave my presentation this morning and *think* it went OK, thought I don't remember getting a clap. I mean, my material did get referred several times thru the tute (albeit as 'like that stuff that whatsy said' by the tool sitting a few to my right) and a couple of people told me it was pretty good, but I'll find out next week. At this stage I am still yet to get any feedback from uni, so I have no idea how I am going... Riccadonna party is planned if good results are obtained.



I think thats enough school stuff for now - my eyes are totally squinty.

Tag-a-roooonnneeeeee!

Right. You all know I'm ' sposed to be doing the shitload of uni work that is due on Tuesday, so it's for this reason that I'm finally sitting down at 11pm on Saturday night to start my presentation, my reference list, my 2 page summary and my 1500 word essay, redeye in hand, turkish pide in belly and strange brain-sucking earphones (to block out the noise of The Hun watching 'Saw' in the room with the heater in it, meaning the door must be left open) feat. Jeff Buckley in head and replying to my first ever tag!!!

The always entertaining and thought-provoking ChickyBabe tagged me thussly (rules copied from her tagger August95):

The Rules:

1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.

{insert drum roll} tatatatatatatata {end drum roll}

EnnyPens 23rd post was this doozy-woozy.

Making her 5th sentence this gemmy-wemmy

{insert 20th Century Fox Fanfare} tatatatatatatata {end 20th Century Fox Fanfare}

I'm gullible.

Well duh. Does the pope shit in the woods? It's suprising how much of an insight this task gives. I was ranting about {Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

To try and back up how gullible I am, I asked The Hun for an example. After he snorked a lil, we came to the conclusion that it's pretty hard for particular instances as he stopped tricking me after the first while coz it just got too easy and took the fun out of it. I mean, I'm sure I've told y'all that I did a course at uni that was all about not taking everything I read or hear as gospel, but it didn't really help a whole lot once exam period was over. But between you and me, I still get tinglez from hitting 'Reply All' with a Snopes link whenever I get forwarded a reaaaaally obvious fakey that I've already read in the weekly Snopes update...
Enough about me, I'd lurve to hear about you.

And because I'm chickensh!t and don't know many people round these here parts, I'm begging tagging TJ, The Student, Jelly, my lil bro {I'll post his reply if he gets round to it!} and leave one spare for the first lucky 'other' person to get in and reply...that's right, you! The one with the hair! Yes, YOU!!!

*please?*

BLOGGER!!! ADD A FORUM FEATURE!!

A funny thought hit me on Tuesday Night. 'Heh heh, OW!, Heh heh' I chortled.

I was downloading the Dawn and Drew Podcasts whilst watching Rove pull gastric faces thru his 'Nicky Hilton and the other one' interview - they wouldn't fucking stop laughing! Painful!!

Anyways, it was funny that he couldn't *SNAP* them and give them a public shaming, having to nice face his way thru a painful 7.5 minutes of them acting like girls who split a stolly at camp and made like they were pissed. *tee hee hee*

So I gots me to thinking - wouldn't it be nice if he could log onto his own little forum and see what people thought and then be able to speak back, uncensored?

And then I was all like, FUCK THAT. I WANT A FORUM ON MY LIFE!!!

How frickin awesome would it be to come home from work and see what ppl have to say about your day? ...

*EnnyPen pauses as she realised that it's pretty much what blogging is about but continues nontheless*...

CutiePoo99: |-|3y g(_)yz, 1 t0t@l <3 EnnyPen, sh3 k!ck3d t0t@l @r$3 !n th@t (y(l3 cl@ss. G0 GRRL!

EnnyHeart: Hey Enny, wicked work on that query: I crown you Access QUEEN!

NinjaGrrlFan: Sweet Hott Cruiser action last night, EnnyPen - yo the shizzle in my nizzle.

Etc Etc.

Tacky terrible trashy post cruiser jokes aside, think on it.

*ignores requirement for mini camera crew that would have to follow your every move*

*gets to thinking about her kickass reality show concept where technology can somehow film everything from your view and commentated by your thoughts*

*relishes in the potential to finally show the world how awesome her car-eoke {car singing like it's being filmed} version of Bjorks 'Mouth Cradle'*

*squirms at discomfort of having cameras implanted behind eyes*

*realises she's still typing*

*publishes and logs out*

EnnyPen 101 - Week ... er... 12 in real time I think....

Is it a good thing or a bad thing to be the only person that the tutor didn't call out during roll call and when you look all unimpressed and call out that he didn't call out your name he says it was coz he remembered who you were and then out of panic you do a fist-pumping yessss in front of the class and then he says that you're the only person out of 400 he can remember...?

I have the terrible feeling it has something to do with me emailing him to say that I dind't understand the essay questions coz the next week in class he was all like 'Oh, yes, Enny, of course.....' and now I'm worried he expects more input coz I managed to make my essay on time and it kinda relates to the stuff we're learning now...

Only like 3 weeks left of classes!!!

*Apologies*

Uni's gonna be that bitch on my shoulder for another week or two, so things might be quite for while!

On the brighter side of things, I think today was the first real day of warm weather in Canberra... first skanky underage thang in woolies in three quarter shorts and midriff baring singlet... first skanky 40 year old in the three quarter pants, sleeveless shirt and super high heels... first skanky old enough to know better muffin-topping her way down the chocolate isle in a tshirt thats 2short...

gotta love it!

*poor excuse for a post I know - blame Economic Rationalism, The New Right, Contract Law and Reduced State Sovereignty*

Awww, look at his lil punnum!!

Isn't that one of the cutest things you've seen?

Even when it means that ur $500 piece of necessariousness is fucked to high heaven, it still brings on the dimples...

But looking back on my day yesterday, I realised I didn't have a very good one.

I got to work for this:

(not really fired - the lady above me is changing jobs so I'm being put
under a different lady but I couldn't find a pic to demonstrate that)...

and to find out that my this:

(desk at window seat, albeit messy as it is)

is going to be this from tomorrow:

(desk with no window, messy as it will be once I move in).

I went to this:

(pump your legs if you love spinning!)

which was with the annoying lady and left me feeling like this:

*pouty-boo!*

I left work early coz I was tired from three-quartering my essay that I'm not going to talk about coz I'm meant to be finishing it now instead of posting and decided to reformat my iPod as it gave me this all day (on the rarity it actually even turned on):

(is this a bad thing?)

But 'experimenting' with the files to see which ones wouldn't work gave me this:

(is this a bad thing?)

And then the chubby lil frownie that's at the top of this post.

Add to it that I didn't do any of this:

(that's meant to be finishing my essay)

and I still haven't won one of these:

(damn you fluffy!!!)

I guess my only saving grace would be that I didn't put all this together until I was showering for bed....

*returns to mahjong*

---------------------------------------------------

{updated like 6 minutes later}

(Yesssssssssssssssssssss!!!)

*Jumpin the couch, pumpin the fist, hissin the sssss', Tom Cruise styles*

Too brain strained too think of a title

You know things are getting shit crap pretty fucking messed up hopelessly deliriously dangeroulsy close to due date with nowhere near enought work done serious, when the Enny study suite moves from being a pile of papers, milky way wrappers, empty glasses and blog surfing on the couch to a pint of cordial, powdery tomato and basil rice cakes, AGSM sites and swear words in The Huns study (study being a totally make believe word as mine is officially a change room hence impossible to study in, and The Huns is half full of stuff of mine that wouldn't fit in my change room).

*Wails*

*Chokes on rice cake powder*

*Sobs*

Oops I did it again

As much as I'd love this to be about Britney (yes, I'm a closet fan; YES I sing and dance to her in the car and YES I've completed Brinteys Dance Beet for PS2), it's more about me ripping off other people's posts.

I've done it before (this spawned plenty of these with no plans to stop; and this was Jelly-induced) and I'm doing it now.

I've been a closet fluffier (not in the same way my cousins used to say 'fluff' or 'poppop' for FART; neither in a pocket monster kinda way; neither that closet anyway as she is listed down the left there) for some times now. She also unearthed the most magical place of all (I've sooo gotta update my sidebars, methinks).

Long story short: checkit, homes:


Go forth n tagz.

(This has the potential to be as much fun as that 'Merlin says' site where you got to pick what his tape letters spelt out when he was protesting that I'm too lazy too track down now but I have it and work and will get right-onz if I remember come Monday when I practice shorteing my sentences).

Tagz, I said!

My friend used to listen to 'I will survive' by Cake to deal with relationship breakups

But I would totally like to recomend a new hate song to everyone - be it ex-partners, friends, workmates, {insert whomever you're not feeling too 'sunshiney' for} - language warning too, folks...

Poetry is no place for a heart that's a whore
And I'm young & I'm strong
But I feel old & tired
Overfired

And I've been poked & stoked
It's all smoke, there's no more fire
Only desire
For you, whoever you are
For you, whoever you are

You say my time here has been some sort of joke
That I've been messing around
Some sort of incubating period
For when I really come around
I'm cracking up
And you have no idea

No idea how it feels to be on your own
In your own home
with the fucking phone
And the mother of gloom
In your bedroom
Standing over your bed
With her hand in your head
With her hand in your head

I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I'm all right for you
When all I wanted was to be good
To do everything in truth
To do everything in truth

Oh I wish I wish I wish I was born a man
So I could learn how to stand up for myself
Like those guys with guitars
I've been watching in bars
Who've been stamping their feet to a different beat
To a different beat
To a different beat

I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I'm all right for you
When all I wanted was to be good
To do everything in truth
To do everything in truth

You bloody mother fucking asshole
Oh you bloody mother fucking asshole
Oh you bloody mother fucking asshole
Oh you bloody mother fucking asshole
Oh you bloody mother fucking asshole
Oh you bloody...

I will not pretend
I will not put on a smile
I will not say I'm all right for you
For you, whoever you are
For you, whoever you are
For you, whoever you are

I first heard this piece of Martha Wainwrights 'perfect poetry' on the way home from work one day, and after some 'interesting' googling of the only part I could remember (no prizes for which part) tracked down the lyrics and put them to memory.

When I heard on JJJ that she would be touring, there was much talk 'tween me and The Hun about going to see her, but most unfortunately only standing seats were left.

So I managed to come accross a copy of her album for a few listens.

And my recent foray into obtaining podcasts revealed an interview and a few live songs off the Radio National site.

So I've had it in my head nonstop - helped by the fact that I've got it playing almost continually - work, car and home, day and night.

But, I think I should inform you that there is a limit to how much you should let yourself become obesessed by a song and it's lyrics.

More precisely, when you wake up one morning to find a grumpier than usual partner moaning about the fact that you woke them up at 5am by mumbling and calling them a Motherfucking Asshole in your sleep, it's proddly time to cut it back a little.

EnnyPen 101 - Week 7

Three cheers for class free period!

Hip - hip - hooray!
Hip - hip - hooray!
Hip - hip - hooray!

My lucrative 'study leave' policy means that I've been given the next two tuesdays paid off work to do my assignments:

- A five minute speech worth 10% on how increased financial flows have decreased state sovereignty (due: 11:30 am Tuesday, week 14);
- 2000 words worth 40% where I have to identify arguments in support of and against the philosophies of the New Right and economic rationalism. Are political ideologies relevant to contemporary government, business and society? (due: 5pm Friday, week 10);
- 1500 words worth 20% based on a newspaper article or current topic relating to contract law, e-commence, the Trade Practices Act, the Sale of Goods Act, agency, business ethics, choice of business entity, or tort law in a business context (that is no more than 1 year old) - Analyse and explain the issues involved to another business person (who has not taken this course) (due: 5pm Monday, week 10); and
- 1-2 pages worth 10% on a written contract of your choice from whatever source you choose. Employment contracts, sales contracts, license agreements, and dry cleaning tickets are possible choices, but there are many more. Summarise whether this contract meets ALL the requirements of a valid simple contract and your overall impressions about the contract (due: 5pm Monday, week 10).

This would be the first time in history that I have even looked at a uni (or school!) assignment more than a week or so before it is due, but it seemed to work for my martial arts essay (if anyone wants to read about self defence, history of hyumgs or what differentiates my art from others - let me know and I'll publish it!) so I'm gonna take a stab at it.

My dad's helped me out with some resources (he's doing his MBA atm), but at this stage I am considering studying the Big Brother contract for the last one (it was published all around the place!), tho' I may have a look into it some more. You gotta love having an assignment with 'originality' marked as the first aspect of the assignment you'll be marked on!

******

On another note, that fuckwit Abott and his sugar daddy Howard should have their asses out of parliament. I know I've already yammered about this before (tho I did lock myself out straight afterwards), but wrap your laughing gear around this. If you know anyone, anyone, who voted Liberal last election, then I prescribe merciless taunting and yammering, blaming and crying, yelling and finger pointing in their general direction. I know one person who did, and boy has he got it coming.

I don't know enough about politics (or if I ever will) to work out why the fuck what Abott did is gonna jus be ignored. Um, hello? Making fun of a work colleague twice after such a sombre incident, in meetings for his job on both occassioans is obviously a bigger fucking deal than joking with friends at parties.

But I'm sure you know all this already.

******

I'm also considering becoming vegitarian. It's not that I haven't realised the cruelty and total anti-good-karma-ism of eating animals, but I was driving behind a slow truck on my way back to Conder last night. When it wobbled it's way around the roundabout, I realised it was full of sheep. Who were being taken to be killed. Then eaten.

Poor bastards.

Truckin thru canberra on a dark cold night, all stacked up like Jenga blocks, on their way to have their throats slit.

I haven't had any meat since - so far, so good.

******

Limbo, Rent, Vodka and Paintball.

I finished my last post just after 6:00pm on Wednesday night to rush off to fetch the youngest bro before Martial Arts - we were holding a meeting that night, so I grabbed some spray-smell and some jeans (technically I could eat dinner in my black training pants but I'd feel like a fraud) and rushed out the door.

Then swore.

Then did my own 'cranky' rendition of the cheesecake dance.

Then checked the windows and the door and the garage.

The cued the swearing and the dancining again.

I'd locked myself outside with neither my car keys or my house keys.

A nervous 3 x knocks on the nieghbours door and a hurried call to The Hun to come straight home please I've locked myself out and I'm on the neighbours mobile no time to explain just please come now thanks (Wednesday night is family tea night with his fam, so he usually heads straight to the Fadden house), left me locked in the dark. And cold. With not even my iPod or mobile to entertain myself with. The neighbour did invite me to stay in and he did seem to be a nice harmless old man, but I won't let myself into that sort of shit. Even if I had explained to him I was on my way to martial arts.

So the people who might have seen the girl in the shadows in Conder, obscured by the hoodie and sitting on a nest of junkmail (I knew there was a reason we don't bring it inside the house!) - I'm sorry if I scared you. And no, junkmail does not stop the dank cold from creeping up into the depths of your asscheeks. And yes, I was singing the soundtrack of Rent, and I apologise that I got them out of order and kept singing the part where Collins introduces Angel to Mark and Roger, but I couldn't remember which song came next and thought that singing it over and over might help (when I was younger I could recite Grease off by heart, except for the car-sex bits that mum always fast forwarded though and that I dind't like or understand nayways).

Anyways, that's a bit of a nothing story, but sharing is caring and so forth.

Have you got a big weekend planned?

Here's my plans (starting in an hour):




And tomorrow?

*shudder*
*gulp*
*sweats*

For the person who googled me for 'sexsi piss'

is this what you were after?