Sunday, May 01, 2005

Marinate me, you great big sweaty hunks of man-meat!!!

One of the greatest gifts The Hun has given me is Rugby Union.

So, in what is proddly more ChickyBabe style, I'm titilated to present to you:

Enny-Pens Top 10 reasons Union is so much better than poofy AFL or thuggish League:

1) Mark Gerrard (or, more appropriately, Mark GrrRRRRrrraard) - His fluffy-duffy fruz weaves daintily thru the opposition. He's the type I'd love to take home to meet Mum (tho I'd have some explaining to do re: the whereabouts of The Hun). And I almost cried when I thought he'd lost his sight after he charged-down that ball with his face the other week...

2) Radike Samo - my first ever football crush. Not in the same way my Aunty had the hots for Mal Meninga *shudder* but because I was a football virgin and loved the way he could hold the football in one hand and just chaaaaaaaaaarge. I would sell my first born son to souvenir one of his knee bands...

3) Jeremy Paul - um.... ok, I admit - he's only really on this list coz he looks like GrrRRRRrrraard.

4) Wendell Sailor - One of my few non-Brumbies favourites - He did a cute little dance when he was on the Wallabies and scored and I know he woulda got in trouble for it, and he knew he was gonna get in trouble for it, but that didn't stop him!... Dance Sailor, dance your crazy sailor dance!

5) Jone Tawake - I had to search through the player profiles to find out the name of the other muscley hunk-o-man.

6) George Gregan - He's the captain which means he likes to be in control. And his son has epilepsy so he's patient and unconditionally-loving. And baldness is linked to virility. And someone told me he's hung like a horse. A big horse. Ooh, and he's portable!

7) George Smith - mainly out of envy for his hair. Very few men can carry off such a ponytail...

8) Lote Tuqiri - He's huuuuuuuge! And he's the forbidden fruit - the one player The Hun detests me cheering for the most. Mainly because he's the only player not on the Brumbies that I do cheer for. And I'm totally hearting the pineapple hairdo - him and George Smith should have sexy football love babies...

9) Matty the Fatty (pre weight loss). *Insert sympathy vote here!*

10) All of the Hurricanes - They are the only team I can identify (besides our Brumbies). Oh, except the pasty red-haired one. And the creepy one with the Jon Butler beard).

I admit, there is some bias here (being from Canberra and all) but they're the only team I've been taught to watch - and at least I didn't rate Miss Metro, Matty Henjak...

P.S Did you know that the law of common decency is apparently null and void down in Lanyon (also now affectionately know as moll-town...)?

If I wasn't too povvy to spring for a camera phone, I could've shown you prime examples of the Lanyon bi-laws:

A): As long as you can do your stylishly faded, ripped and graffiti'd jeans up (no matter how low they are or how much muffin hangs over the top, then you are so totally the hottest chick in the whole place; and

B): Actually - make that 2nd hottest, but only to the 60 year old in the knitted mesh singlet, fur lined coat, red pin stilettos, choppy purple streaks and Von Dutch bag..

3 comments:

ChickyBabe said...

I’ve just stumbled upon this post, and what can I say, that some serious research you’ve done!

Very funny and entertaining. Or should I say, “perve worthy” :).

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now. Keep it up!
And according to this article, I totally agree with your opinion, but only this time! :)

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