Sunday, July 30, 2006

This is the dawning of the age of a-weariness

One of my martial arts students turned 18 last week - a lovely affable lil fellow who really has come a long way, both training-wise and socially.

And as The Hun was dropping me off at Magf's house (to have her fiance drop us off at the 18th) I realised how old I'm starting to get...

Of the friends around our age, we have:

Six sets of friends that are homeowners

Two sets of friends pregnant

Three sets of friends married

Four sets of friends engaged

...and so on and so on.

And as Magf and I walked down the drive and glared at the swarm of 'tweens that rushed us, we realised that we were gonna be the odd ones out.

Zip forward to lunchtime today as I was hugging the toilet bowl and dry retching, I had two thoughts:

'WTF am I supposed to do?! I haven't spewed in over 5 years! What happens now!!!'


'I really am too old for this nonsense'.

So with another Monday comes another set of renewed promises to cut down the drinks, eat better and exercise more.

Lets see how long this one lasts.

Starting tomorrow.

(also brought on by perousing the archives for objectional text and realising the large number of alchohol related posts...)

Saturday, July 29, 2006

So I've been thinking...

There's been a lot of these types of stories around the traps.

And combined with recent E V E N T S, I'm a thinking I'm a gonna go thru the archives and make some amendements.

Stay tuned for minor changes!

Friday, July 28, 2006

Did you hear the one about the Public Servant that looked like a backpacker?

Well, you can hear it here first.

On Thursday I did something 'unusual'. Something I felt pressured to do, something that I knew would cause some reaction, something that I wasn't entirely comfortable in doing, something that I may only have done only once or twice before, but something that I did nontheless.

Wednesday night as I prepared my hair turban for bed (I'm a night-shower) I got accosted:
"You are not going to spend $160 on a haircut and then pull it back like that. Get the hairdryer and sit down and we're going to blowdry your hair. NOW."

So I did what I was told (Enny's a good girl!).

And I wore my hair out on Thursday.

I HATE wearing my hair out.

I hate the way my waves and kinks in the wrong places, I hate the way it sticks to the back of my neck and tickles and itches under my chin, I hate the way it draws attention to my under-chin-softspot and I hate the way that it was like the second coming of the Messiah.

Before lunch, I had no less than 11 individuals comment on 'the hair' (note: individuals; there was quite often more than one comment per person).

I don't know that I've ever been spoken to by 11 individuals about work!

There were a few different types of comment... "your hair's out!" "you look so different!" "who are you? where's enny gone?!" etc etc.

The most 'popular' comment (as in most heard, not as in my favourite) was "it looks so much better" (often with the disclaimer "why are you pulling that face?!").

But the most memorable was when I walked in to a team meeting just after it started:
"Don't we all love Enny with her hair out?" stated my bosses boss.
(agreeance from four other team members in meeting)
"Yeah" she decided she needed to follow up with, "she doesn't look like a, y'know, backpacker now".



Hair down

Hair Up



For further consideration: do you know how much pressure I felt under to wear my hair out today? So I did. And it didn't look as good as yesterday (The Hun didn't blowdry my hair AS thoroughly as I'm guessing he thought the 'compliments' were enough to magically make me competent as a girl and able to do my hair myself) and I HATE knowing that all the 'commenting' people were looking and thinking... THAT'S my NEWEST thing I hate about wearing my hair out...

My hair is up as I hit Publish Post.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I've got a new hobby!

...or, to put it a lil more accurately, I can justify one of my old hobbies as a new one.

Background story: As I think I've mentioned before, my mighty tuff roadbeast's lease finishes up in early October:

(not my actual car)

I've been doing a little research over the past few month and was 'guided' towards the following:

(Japan made, v safe, value for money, roomy on the inside, good warranty).

All the important stuff is done - I've faxed off the order form (note: request for darkest possible tinting), picked out my decals n stickers from eBay and MOST IMPORTANTLY have booked the middle techo guy to set me up with a new pumpin system for my....


I've oft sung the praises of car-eoke - that is, singing like a madwoman in the car, circa Alanis Morissette in that 'Ironic' filmclip:

(not a good part to re-enact on the parkway)

But I was over at Clokeeeey's and cackng myself over the clips there, and remembered reading about the Google Idol clips, so went a searching...

Some of my favs:

Das Trio - "Thousand Miles" - if only they practiced the words more! I love the angsty pillow hugging and attempted leap of death...

Anything by Lynne and Tessa (Barbie girl is here) (they even have their own website!) - I'd love to be the cool skinny one, but I'd more likely be the plumper one relying on her boobs to get the attention... (mind you, she's a better mimer - you just know she's the brains behind it all)....

And for good measure, checkout Hips don't lie (my cousin has that wig in bright red!) and the Happy Dumbos!

- Wanna buy my old car?
- What's your fav Gidol vid?
- What do you reckon would be a goodun?
- Wanna join me?


EnnyPen 101 - Week Two

'bout as exciting as it sounded last week.

I couldn' do my reading as it sent me to sleep. Twice. In bed, highlighter in hand. So las night was spent in a mini-frenzy of trying to scan thru the book to find the answers which worked MUCH better for me.

Both tutes went well enough - it was good to have two people I knew in the first one (eldest bro and The Huns sis) and I think I was able to sound knowledgable enough.

Ditto for the second tute (with the exception that the only people I recognised was the boy from my group work last semester, and an annoying headband girl from the first tute who waved her hand to answer all the questions. And there's no tute mark for the course. And she's v surly looking. And STUNK of teh sm0k3.).

Apologies for the LAME - I'm feeling a bit tired, promises to do better nex time etc.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Enny celebrates the big 'twenty-five-oh' with a slap in the face and unforgettable story

That's right! 250 posts! Go me!

And I had planned to share just an unforgettable story, but I will intervene with my slap in the face before finishing with the story, so that I can get it out of my system and never need speak of the events of the past week again (not to mention ever have to think about it again)(But y'all jus know it'll reappear in my planned 'hypotheticals' series) (skip after the slap if you have no interest in such petties) (and skip this entire post if toilet humour is not your thang)...

***** START SLAP *****

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}
This forum is good - somewhere to get thoughts out where they can't hurt. But I might need to change the address - I think there's value in total anonymity.
I'm pretty sure you can guage how I felt when I read that. And how I feel now. And in my heart of hearts I'm pretty sure she didn't mean it the way that if feels (if there's a lesson to be learnt here then I'm choosing to ignore it at this stage). But that will stay with me for a very long time. And I guess that due to my lack of total anonymity I can't really say any more on it... So if you're reading? Be sure to send me a postcard a tell me about how good it feels. FFS.

***** END SLAP *****

And without further ado - would you like to here a story to stay with YOU for life?

Someone* once told me something that I don't think I will ever forget - Rarely a day or two goes past that I don't think of it in one way or another - yet I've never told anyone else...

But I think it's important to mark 'special occassions' with things like this:

"Enny, do you want to hear something you'll never forget?"


"When I sit down on the toilet for number twos, I have to spread my butt cheeks apart."


"Yeah! Now I can't go do it without making sure I'm spread out properly!"


"Because as soon as I was told, I could never forget it! You'll see! "


Happy 250 to me
Hapy 250 to me
Happy 250 dear Enny
Happy 250 to meeee!

* Bonus points if you can guess who told me!

Thursday, July 20, 2006

This is not a diversionary tactic


There's no WAY I'd instantly try to post something upbeat immediatley as pennance for my emo teen-angst (perhaps mars'n'dot are looking for more housemates?!).

My issue is that I could feel my belly jiggling when I was at kickboxing tonight.

I've done the right thing - I've joined the gym - but that doesn't stop the 'naughty' snacks.

Waking up and starting the day on a healthy note - PButter on toast, juice, vittymins, redeye, air-popped popcorn... salad for lunch, mandarin, corn biscuits...


Half a packet of v. chocolate biscuits.

And again the next day. And with v ice cream for dessert.

And today was going well until the kettles chips at 3pm. And the salted mixed nuts after work. And the Ali Baba WITH CHIPS and a cruiser for dinner.

People - please help me?

I hate looking at my bright red man arms in the gym mirror, and feeling my belly wobbly when I run or get kicked or do situps...

(PS - I get my gym program on Sunday, but because this is not a diversionary tactic I need some input)

(PSS - Thanks for being a friend)

(PPSS - Would you like to come round for some v chocolate biscuits? I PROMISE they taste like real TimTams....)

It hurts...

... to see someone hurting...
...and being torn between wanting to say something ...
...and knowing that you said that you wouldn't...

***Extended Remix Version with Directors Commentary***

It may now be evident that the events of the last week have started to take their toll on the little 'community'.

What started as a whisper and built up to breeze, arrived as a tornado on Friday. I'm no meteorologist, but there were two or three aftershocks felt through the community, affecting different parties at different times.

And when it seemed that the dust had settled?

You. ain't. seen. nothin. like. it.

In some ways, it's good that it's not all about me. It's good that it's not about this.

But in other ways - it's very Very VERY bad.

I know I was naive to believe that when it all began that things would be fine - could carry on as normal - that it could even make things better!

But then, I am the worlds naivest, most gullible and mentally underprepared lil thang that e'er traipsed these lands.

The fallout has shaken everyone.

Four parties moving together - terrified and angry, hurt and excited, so so honest yet so so opaque.

And when they were about to meet in the middle?

I put up my hand and did the only thing that would surely put it all to an end. Not a happy ending, not the ending the naive me had hoped for, not rainbows and puppy dogs and sunshine.

It was either all in or all out.

And the four corners backed away - heads bowed, tear stained, exhausted and unsure. Two by two returning to how it was before, and none really the better for it.

And this is the new 'end'.

An end that is from the wrong book.

An end that is not an end, but no more a start or a middle.

An end that is not the end.

And still, there is a breeze. A breeze coming from a different direction.

What is? What caused it to stir up? Where is going? Is it strong enough that I should notice? Is it too strong that I should have noticed earlier? Strong enough that it catches my eye but is disregarded as just another breeze. or so strong that I should rush out to greet the storm.

It pains me that all are left so unsure - it pains me that it has gone this way - it pains me that this really is the most unsure, confused, concerned and helpless I have EVER felt in my life.

There are news walls in the community - it has been a week of frantic action - constructing, deconstructing, shifting and reinforcing.

So although there is a wall there - I'm unsure of how high and how strong it is.

If I attempt to climb over, is it going to be the final straw?
Can there be a final straw when it seems that it can't get any worse?

I know there are lines that I can never cross again - but in a world of darkness and shifting mists, how do you know if you're too close or too far?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006


Another Five Things meme, this time from the Delightful Jen (she really IS delightful):

The Five Things Meme

In my handbag
- Broken crappy unportable iPod
- Spiffy can't-live-without-it organiser (paper based but leather (so will replace only when completely wrecked))
- Oroton coin purse (so cute - a gift - leather (so will replace only when completely wrecked))
- Nokia flip phone
- PSP (Lumines battle anyone>!)

In my fridge
- Icky stifry made with the wrong mixed veggies that I hafta have for lunch tmr as celery makes The Hun gag
- Redeye
- Cruisers
- Floradix Florivital
- Vegan cheese slices

In my closet
- An empty CK mens trunks box (to perve on)
- My Riggadoon doll, 'Rusty' (anyone else have one of those?!)
- Four formal dresses
- An alarming number of girly potions and makeup for someone who only wears makeup quarterly and...

In my car

(Ugh - what's NOT in my car?!)
- Martial arts stuff (including uniform, belt, sparring gear (inc insta-bust chest guard!), two jo's and a briefcase)
- Empty Redeye bottles
- Several socks and shoes
- Empty packets of noodles, sultanas, skittles, bottled water (you get the picture...)

First five to nominate get to do it - even if it's just in the comments!

I wasn't kidding about the increase in hits...

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

EnnyPen 101 - Week One

Yes it IS that time again already!

Uni has started again (only one sixth of the way thru my degree!!!!), and with it has come the first tinge of excitement, only to be smothered by the damp dark dogbreathness that it really is.

The tinge of excitement was at the way my lecture today was much better than expected - I thought the course was gonna be about memorising theorists and diagrams, but it seems to be more about TEH PEEPS so I'm looking forward to it.

What squashed it? Realising that whilst the course is more about TEH PEEPS and psych-type stuff, I was sandwhiched tween eldest bro (who's gf is a psych-type) and The Huns sister (who is a psych-type). Me? Durr... Jack of some trades, master of none.

Then there was the additional joy of having to hand over almost $200 for textbooks, which is taking me $200 further away from an iPod that works.

Additionally, uni is spread over two days this semester (impractical!) with a 9:30 - 2:30 stint on a Tuesday (with a one hour break for leering at barely-legals in the refect) and an 8:30 - 10:30 blargh on a Wednesday.

AND it seems to be following the typical plan of 'one interesting and one boring/one good and one bad/one thought based and one fact based', the lecture I have tmr is for a course that appears to be maths.


So on top of all that I'm driving an extra almost 100km a week just for uni travel, I'll be whittling down any flex I've managed to scrape together and I'm getting tired of the PussyCatDolls CD that I can't help but pump each time I get into the car...

Stay tuned for next weeks THRILLING episode...

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Housekeeping - Hooray for Bullet Points!

  • After a brief stint as a hermit, I've hung my home sweet home sign up back on the wall at This is my place and I'm not about to move, lease it, be evicted or do that thing where the people come round and deem it unsafe and put the sign on the door to stop people coming in. And thanks for the support and kind words I've received.

  • Want ppl to leave your party? Try hitting them in the eye with a newspaper - it works a treat (ask The Hun)!
  • What's that song with the line 'All my friends are getting married'? Magf is engaged!
  • And is there a song with the lyrics 'All my friends are having babies'? Mrs Batman is havvin a lillun! Feb '07. All together now - Awwww.
  • And is there a song that goes 'I got told both of those pieces of news within five minutes of each other'? No? Mebbe I should get Erica to compose it for me.
  • Donations/dastardly plans for my 'save $5000 and then be allowed to buy a new iPod that will work without a plug (ie a PORTABLE portable music player)' fund would be much appreciated.

Saturday, July 15, 2006


Is it? That the same day that the whole anonymous blog thang falls to sh!t is the same day I record the highest amount of hits to my site?

Who knows?

(besides EVERYONE else?)

Ooooh yeah - I've been drinking.

So why not ask me how my week's been?

What? You just did?

Well, lemme tell you.

I've been moody all week. I've been tired, cranky and potentially hormonal. I'm not losing weight - if anything I'm going up - and so I've been entertaining the thought that maybe I'm pregnant (v not likely) and then I feel guilty coz my 'occassional' cruiser with dinner has been happening more and more often so if I DID get accidentally pregnant then my baby would be brain damaged and I'd never drink again.

So besides stupid random thoughts as above, my boss has been on leave, so I've been busy.

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

I've been moping around the house feeling sorry for myself - The Hun has an icky chest cold, and is unhappy with his job (rightfully so) so the more upset he gets, the more upset I get. I seem to spend my time getting outta bed first, getting ready in the cold, making lunch, going to work, coming home, checking the net for 30 mints, going to martial arts, coming home, cooking dinner and then going to bed while The Hun watches Le Tour and falls asleep on the couch. I spend my time ranting all my issues to everyone but him and then I go nuts at him that we don't talk about anything important anymore. 5 days a week. Then we do nothing all weekend. And I get told off for the house being messy and not doing anything. Wah wah wah etc - you get the picture.

And of couse it's all exagerated, coz that's what I like to do.

AND NOW, following up ramble styles from yesterdays post - I'm even more despondent.

So eldest bro's gf has read the blog occassionally.

Middle bro only reads it when he has nothing else to read and thinks it's a good opportunity to make me look like more of a prick than I already appear (RL and otherwise).

Youngest bro dun give a f()ck about it and is the only one I told.

And eldest bro gf told me eldest bro knows about it but dun read it, but then tells her that he only told me about the 'L word' thing because he read it here.

Yeah, see that? I'm not even colouring them orange I'm that frickin emotional about all this bullshit.

What I hate is the feeling that my space has been encroached.

And I don't care if that's not a word.

And I'm not THAT frickin thick - I KNOW it's on the internet so EVERY frickin man and his dog can read it, but that's not what it was about.

It wasn't intended for people I know. And it wasn't intended for people I know to tell other people I know. And it wasn't intended for the other people I know to then use what they know and tell others who don't know to make it look like I'm off blabbing every little snippet. And it wasn't intended for me to have to explain to others how someone found out something that I was sworn to secrecy about that they were sworn to secrecy about. And then to all sit back and have a frickin tea party discussion on how superior and super secret and cool I think I am in bloglife when I'm just a piece of sh!t in RL.

So now what? Do I have to be looking over my shoulder? Do I not talk write about anything that actually happens? Do I not get the opportunity to say what I really think anymore? Do I instead write hypothetical essays that don't indicate who or what or where or when it may be related to RL (as suggested by The Hun)? I'm not shooting down his idea, but the reason I started this whole shebang was because I thought I'd had plenty of interesting stories to tell, not because I'm an awesome writer who wants to be published and is blogging to keep up the practice. I'm not doing it for the love of the frickin written word. It's because I like the opportunity to express and share and meet new people, get new perspectives, read new things.

It makes me mad. There are so many issues in the issue that make me mad that I can't even talk about because f()ck knows who's reading this and is going tell whoever else f()cking knows.

If there are ppl I know reading, then that's fine. I'd rather I know and have some discussion on it so that I have the opportunity to say 'if you want to read, that's fine, but you'll know more about me then you want to and that's YOUR choice. '

F()CK you for every time you sat back and laughed at something I thought.

I don't want to hafta frickin censor myself.

And the thing I hate Hate HATE is knowing that people I see or speak to weekly, biweekly or more have known about this the whole time. And not said a fricking thing to my face.

The thing I HATE most in Rlife is looking the fool. Especially when it's to more than one person. Especially to people that I thought would tell me sooner and not betray my trust. Because if they really knew me like I thought they did, they would know it's the one thing that would upset me the most.


Friday, July 14, 2006


I was having lunch with a friend from highschool a month or two ago - she's the one with the baby (must remember to give her a nickname!) - and we'd just settled down to eat in the foodcourt when she realised she had no napkins for the messy lil boy.

"No worries" I said "I'll get you some".

And I did.

When I sat down I pointed out to her that we'd walked right past a lady laying in the middle of the foodcourt, surrounded by ambo's and concerned onlookers.

"We were so caught up in lunch we didn't notice! How rude!" she observed.

Since then, I've noticed that they've placed defribillator machines all around the shopping centre.


Today I discovered a better way to shock your heart around (in an 'OMG I THINK I'M GONNA THROW UP MY HEART' kinda way).

Get an email from eldest bro's gf confessing she's been reading your blog for some time, after middle bro told her there was stuff about her here.

Have more, will post tomorrow.

(PS - suggestions for how to deal with middle bro would be VERY much appreciated - if you're reading this one buddy boy, beware....)

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Hold the phones

I have an update.

(Permission to unbait the breath you're all holding)
(You'll need it - it might be a lil lengthy)

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

PS - do u think I cursed the Pink Floyd guy by using his album cover?!

Sunday, July 09, 2006


With the end of the first semester of 2006 comes a gamut of emotions.

Relief at the thought that I need never open a Marketing or Economics text anytime in the forseeable future.

Nerves as Eldest Bro reads my results over the phone.

Elation at marks higher than P's (Credit for Eco, Distinction for Mktg).

Jealousy at Eldest Bro's two HD's.

Retrospection (shaddup - it IS a feeling) on whether I shoulda studied harder.

Dissapointment as the realisation settles that I've never received a HD.

Comforting Evil Glee at the thought that his high scores were not earnt entirely alone.

Confirmation that Eldest Bro and I will be in the same tute for the same course next semester leaves me feeling.....?

Friday, July 07, 2006

Looking for perspective like that Pink Floyd cover...

You know: one thing goes in, lotsa different things come out...?!

Nayways, I was just wondering what people would have to say/think about this.

I have a "friend of a friend" (it's not me!) who has been in a relationship for about 18 months. I introduced them at a party (yes!! me!!!) and they hit it off pretty much straight away, although there was some intervention on mine and gf1's behalf to get them to 'work it out'.

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Skip this one if ur over the vegan thang

Check out my recent emails with a Subway (eat fresh!) rep:


From: Enny
To: Subway Peeps


I was just wondering which (if any) of your breads are suitable for vegans?

Kind Regards,


From: (Subway rep)
To: Enny

Yes they are vegan friendly.

Kind regards,
(Subway rep)


From: Enny
To: (Subway rep)

Hi (Subway rep),

I'm presuming the Parmesan Oregano bread isn't vegan due to the cheese.

Can you please confirm for me which breads do not contain ANY animal products?

Kind Regards,


From: (Subway rep)
To: (Other Subway rep)

Ummm… can you help me…?

From: (Other Subway rep)
To: (Subway rep)

The only vegan friendly options are:

White, Wheat & Honey Oat

From: (Subway rep)
To: Enny

FYI - Please see (above)


From: Enny
To: (Subway rep)

Hi (Subway rep),

Thanks for that - Also, it might help to take the Honey Oat off the vegan list - the majority of vegans won't eat honey!

Thanks again,


*rolls eyes in superior elitist manner*
*conducts internal monologue about how SOME people JUST DON'T GET IT*
*hunts kitchen for those vegan choccie biscuits*

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Blast from the Past

I was shrugging my way down the aisles of woollies tonight and recognised someone across the tomatoes that I hadn't seen for years, Years, YEARS.

I worked with him for a few years, when I was a casual and going to uni. He was a few years older, into a bit of pot and lanky, but he was a good guy at heart and always good for a chat.

The place was always a bit of dive - a collection of randoms from all walks of life. Of particular note were two girls who lived together and worked together and only hung out together. Their pay combined was enough to cover the rent, some pot and a few Cadbury Breakaways.

I noticed him spending more time with the girls, hanging out with them more in and out of work, and spending more shifts shuffling around in a bit of a daze.

There was rumour that he'd cheated on his girlfriend - the sister of one of the other staff - with the shorter and 'smarter' of the two girls. His girlfriend of years had found out and dumped him. Nothing was said to him but his behaviour was noted - he was sadder, more withdrawn and quieter. I'd make an extra effort to try and talk more, keep him involved and keep him in touch, but never talk about any of the issues - how could I?

I came in early one afternoon, on a day where he started at lunch and worked through until 8. The manager had also arrived and told me that I had to do the washing up first thing. I must've looked puzzled - each time he did the day shift he was always sure to do the washing up for us - but did it without asking.

As I was washing, he came around the back of the store to wash his hands at the sink next to mine, and I was the only one to see the bandages on his wrists.

"What have you done?! Why?!"

"Please don't tell anyone" he said "it's nothing. I couldn't do it - it looks worse than it is. Please don't tell."

It wasn't long after that that he left. He couldn't keep working with the girl that had ruined his happiness - a moment of weakness on his behalf, an opportunity that came without remorse for her.

I'd often wondered where he was. What he was doing. How he was going. In the years since I'd seen him I'd run that scene over and over through my head.

I was so glad to see him, so glad he saw me, so glad I could finally put my worst fears out of my head.

"I almost didn't recognise you!" "Time has ravaged me, huh?"

We were able to chat quite openly, interupted only by customers trying to get to the zuchinis behind us. He'd lived with the two girls for about a year, but got sick of the drama. They'd stolen a lot of his stuff, then lied to the police when they were called in to assist him in getting it back. His last moment of triumph was telling the taller girl what the other really thought of him as he left the house for the last time.

He's moved onto bigger and better things, a job that challenges him and keeps him learning. He ran into the short girl that ruined his life - his job took him to her job. The first thing she asked was "what are you doing here?!" his reponse: "trying not to kill you". She changed jobs, but his job took her to her new job as well. They still don't speak.

We did the catching up thing "Where are you living?""Who do you keep in touch with?""Do you remember?""Are you seeing anyone?"

It was not long before his shopping mate met up with him again, paid groceries in hand.

"It was good to see you again!"
"Absolutely. I'll see you around, yeah?"

And although we didn't swap numbers or details, it was one of the rare occassions where I really did mean it