Tuesday, January 31, 2006

It's happened before and it's happened again

Another night spent dreaming about bloggers.

There was a meetup thing in a club in Melbourne. I was at the bar and a girl came up to me and told me I was funny. I asked her how she knew, then she backtracked and said to forget she said anything, but I stopped her and told her who I was and all was good. She was Jelly (and she better not slap me with a restraining order for continually dreaming about her!).

I can't really remember the specifics (I woke up over 13 hours ago!) but there was a lot of alchohol being drunk in a cinema, then a restaraunt, then somebodies house. She was there, and she was there and he was there and she was there and she was there. Basically, most of my 'most read' were there.

The thing that first struck me was the whole secret squirell of it all - fake identies, hiding behind names, not saying the B-word. The second thing that struck me was how 'everyday normal 'everyone one. People were dorky and...er... dumpy (with the exception of TJ and her imaculate eyebrows) but comfortable and funny and really, really friendly - Everyone was getting along great guns! People were looking at us and wondering what our connection to each other was and how we were managing to have such an awesome time!

I think it was a nice reminder of the fact that every blogger is human and normal, whilst also pointing out how you start to get to know these people through the written tippy-tapped word - getting insight into their everyday lives, getting to know their likes and dislikes, their humour and their personality.

And also that I double-triple promise to attend the next blogevent that I can get to, if this imaginary one was anything to go by!

Sunday, January 29, 2006

There used to only be one tennis man for me


But now, it's a whole new ball game.
















I really don't mind who wins, I'm jus happy they're there.

Paris sez it so it must be true

Thank God - otherwise I'd be stuffed!

I left work at bout 4:30 on Friday (note for the slackers I was working on the Nobody-works-that-Friday Friday) and came home to sit on the net (note: figuratively). I noticed my eye was stinging a bit at about six and logged off about eight to start dinner, figuring it just needed a rest from all the intermenets.

The little bitch kept stinging and I hit the pillow at about 11:30.

At 2am I woke up with tears streaming down my face - not from nightmares or yet another palm-heel to the face courtesy of a sleeping The Hun, but because the little bitch was trying to clean itself out.

At 3am I got up to research how to flush the little bitch out, convinced there must be something in there.

At 3:30am I got back to bed after half an hour of attempting to open the little bitch into a bowl of water without throwing up (interesting fact - opening my eye in water causes a bit of a dry retching and burping effect - I've never been able to do it!).

At 4am I finally got back to sleep.

Having no idea wtf was in there, no matter how much pulling on my lid and trying to see through the tears or pulling-over-the-bottom-lid-then-flicking was partaken, I 'dropped into the local' chemist for some drops. To be put in every two hours. LUCKILY they go into the lower lid so they don't make me gag.

Todays verdict is that the sting has moved from one isolated spot in the top-back of the little bitch to a general all over sting, that has slightly subsided over night.

Now why would I regale you with that boring shit?

Because no matter how much Pink hates her, I want to be Paris*

*Not true. Pink is way cooler. Have you seen the film clip? HOTT.

BTW - Bet update - down another 1.8! If I can refine my skillz I might try n find a lil HTML thermometer for my sidebar. Or sit and wait for all you cleverones to send me a link on how to do it.

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

I've found a new hobby!

No, it's not perving on that new Super 14 ad (ButOMGitIsFrickinHotttttttttAndMakesMeWannaGetOutThereNchaseSomeBalls!!!)

It's Aquaerobics!

I hit Erindale pool (first time in a public pool since like high school) with a friend from martial arts and the fiance of one of my students - she has a wedding coming up and dropped 9 kilos since November just by doing it down out in Struggletown Queanbeyan - she had three pieces of garlic bread AND chips AND schnitzel AND sauce out at dinner on Wednesday last week (keep away from Erindale tuggies - it's a ripoff!) but you can really see the difference! (Of the aquaerobics, not the MumchyMunch).

So, because there is another martial arts camp coming up this April *groan* for which I will be hopefully ten kilos lighter for *rejoice*, the other martial arts girl decided we would all try it out together.

And it's great!

There's something so fulfilling about it - Something about being able to move freely, jump around without having to worry too much about the excess bounce and churning up the water with women that are 30 years older and 30 years heavier than yourself. Being the 'lite' in the 'full cream' soup. And if getting joy out of the thrill of being smaller than these poor women who are too embarrassed to go to the 'real' part of the gym or can't physically do exercise out water or who enjoy it for the lack of judgement is wrong - well, suck it biatches, it makes me feel good.

Today was the only time anyone other than The Hun has seen me in swimmers sans singlet and boardies - mind you that was in the changeroom afterwards - class was done nonsans singlet and boardies. There might have even been some ass shaking.

That said, I could proddly do without the mental image of a 50 year old standing stark naked in the doorway of the changeroom and gouging around in her 'ladies pocket' with a towel to ensure it's dry (proddly the same way she scrounges for change at SupaBarn).

That also said, I could proddly do with some more of this tho':

Sorry gents - SplashySplashSplash has got the feel good ladies juices flowing*!

*(The kind that makes ladies feel good about themselves, NOT the type that makes you want to feel good ladies)

Monday, January 23, 2006

I would've posted this yesterday but the screen was making me nauseous...


I take it all back. Well, all the stuff that was in praise of alchohol at least - I'm not withdrawing my habits now matter how much of a Freakazoid they make me appear. Six black label cruisers over six hours should NOT leave you struggling to keep eyes opened and focussed in the car. It should also not result in:
- Swalling a sugar pill rather than the much loved this-will-stop-the-babies Pill;
- Sleeping till 11am;
- Inability to come good on promised brekky of Bacon, Eggs, Toast, Mushroom and Tomato for The Hun for bein the taxi;
- Moving to the couch and just sitting for three hours;
- Being told that there is lettuce in between your front teeth (thank CHRIST that place was dark!!!)
- Inability to eat even one piece of toast;
- Inability to drink a glass of water;
- Inability to use phone for talking just didn't feel right;
- Going back to bed and sleeping for another two hours;
- Moving back to the couch and just sitting for another three hours;
- Inability to drink cordial due to stomach-wrenching reaction;
- Inability to play lumines or read the news;
- Inability to stand up for longer than the count of ten;
- Cooking dinner whilst sitting down, leaving the bench at eye height instead of convenient and practical waist height at 8pm;
- Headaches on Monday morning.

You have been warned.

Six drinks. I'm so embarassed.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Gr0g Bl0gging is t3h sh1zzle

Yup. Currently in prep mode for a night out at Academy for a friends birthday. Realistically, I should be soooooo over clubbing, but The Hun is doin the whole drop off n pick up and I'm gettin a bit of a reputation as a piker as of late. That said, this diet is FRICKIN AWESOME for gettin p!ssed off only two black cruisers! SC0R3! Also, for makin me feel totally thirteen-thirty-seven.

In the spirit of not thinkin much, I've decided to post a meme that I've spent plenty of time thinking about, yet never actually documented (kindly borrowed from CB).

Five Weird Habits.

1) Seperatism - I just can't eat foods all mixed up together. Did someone say Ali Baba? I'll spread it out over the food-court table, eat my chicken (with a fork!) first, then the lettuce, then tear the bread up into bits. Subway - follow simlar procdure. Toast? That'll be crust first, then the top layer with all the spread on it, then the dry crusty bottom bit. Etc. Being one to have tricky habits that come in groups, I'm also...

2) Against sloppy foods! The first time I tried dip was around March 27 2004 on my first birthday date out with The Hun at the Turkish Pide House in Woden. Before then, I'd never actually tried it for fear of not liking it. Similarly, I only tried soup for the first time within the last two years or so, as well as sauce. Something must've happened somewhere along the line, as for as long as I can remember, my weetbix has always been eaten as a bite of dry biscuit, then a little sip of milk. Never. Have. Milk. In. The. Bowl. Only. Out. Of. Cup

3) Praying. This in itself might seem odd to many people, but I have to do it in the correct order. Hail Mary full of grace the lord is with the blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of they womb Jesus Holy Mary mother of God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death Amen Our Father who art in Heaven hallowed by thy name thy kingdom come thy will be done on earth as it is in Heaven give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who trespassed against us and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil Amen For the sick the lonely and the out of work dear mother of perpetuasaka* please watch over us today For all those people who have died Eternal rest grant unto them O Lord and let perpetual light shine upon them may they rest in peace Amen Dear Lord please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept and the wisdom to know the difference Amen.

The thing is, if I get halfway thru and feel like I'm jus doin it from rote memory and not really 'feeling' it, I gotta start again. And if I'm not sure I've said them all, I start again. If I'm still awake at the end of it (it's what usually sends me to sleep) then I pray for The Hun and my Pa and my family - tho I very rarely make it to that point.

*I have not idea what the word is - I got taught the prayer when I was in year 5 and never questioned it then and have never been able to find out what it means.


4) I can't close my eyes or turn my back to the door of the shower. I've told Erica about this one, but when I was younger I was channel surfing and came accrose some ER type crime type show, where a women who must've met someone who was attacked whilst in the shower thought she would 're-enact' being in the shower and being attacked - that is eyes closed and back to the door of the shower convulsing in tears of fright. Since that point I can't close my eyes for more than like the count of three without having to open them, no matter how much it makes my eyes sting. In the moment before I open my eyes, I have to mentally prepare myself for the possibility of someone being on the otherside of the frosted glass. Not that it would help - I'm the jumpiest bisnatch on the block.

5) I should be getting ready and not blogging, so my fifth would be my nas-tay relationship with water. When I was in high school I went with two of my cousins to Tuggeranong Pool. Having never learnt to swim (I was too embarassed to show my instructor so I never got past the super basic level in primary school lessons) I wasn't meant to go into the deep pool. My elder cousin thought he would test it and he treaded water in the middle and told me to swim out to him and his sister. Needless to say, my memories of that day are of pushing up of the bottom of the pool, gasping for air, grabbing for my rellies, sinking again (and repeat) whislst some old women looked in over us, telling us that we deserved it for "mucking around". I can still see her outline thru the blur of the water. Since then, I've NEVER gone into water where I can't touch the bottom and still have my head above water at the very minimum (standing at 178cm) - does not bode well for the aqua-aerobics I've agreed to try on Tuesday night! That said, that's more of a traumatic experience than a weird thing, but I've really gotta go shower and find something to wear!

Stay tuned for a (potentially) sober recap/refresh of this meme!

Thursday, January 19, 2006

How can it be so bad yet so good?

Update on the bet - Enny is 2.4kg lighter after one week!

If only it were all due to healthy eating, lots of exercise and positive feel good vibes - squirming on the couch bemoaning the OMFG worst "girly" cramps in the history of all time quickly disintigrated into listening to the Golden Globes Johnny Cash 'Ring of Fire' tribute (if ONLY I were kidding) thru the bathroom door.

You betcha bottom dollar buddy - more than half of that weight was lost within a half hour period stretch of time - there must be something goin' round.

At least I got a head start....

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Top 10 Car-eoke songs* for Ausculture Jess

*That is, songs sung at the top of ur lungs whilst driving, preferably (a) alone and (b) with windows up.**

10) Air Supply "Without You" - Booming lows and shrilling highs; pain, angst and overly dramatic hand gestures.

9) Nelly Furtado "Childhood Dreams" - Pump up the bass for the church organs, yo.

8) Kanye West "Golddigger" - Only dubbing "Broke - br - Broke" over the N-bomb whilst twisting neck frantically (Wigger? Moi?!)

7) Bjork "Mouths Crade" - I can act out climing a teeths ladder WHILST racing that Datsun (DATSUN).

6) Britney Spears "Toxic" - It's her own fault for race-driving (albeit it a bike) in the filmclip.

5) Snoop Dogg "Beautiful" - Not for singing with dogs in the car (high-pitched-ness involved!)

4) "Rent: The Musical" 2 CD Soundtrack - technically a musical is just one big song, right? Right? RIGHT?!

3) Korn "Clown" - mostly for the "four? four. four? .... Ern"

2) Destiny's Child "Lose My Breath" - try not to pass out whilst doing The Huff.

1) The Sundays "Summertime" - only because I'm a showoff on the inside n think do it well (What?! I needed to appeal to the alternatives and dilute out my Pop'n'R'n'B taste)

**Prone to changing bi-monthly

Sunday, January 15, 2006

Die-ing to know about the die-t

I know you're curious about the bet.

Nayways, Weightwatchers.

The trick is fairly simple (once you've got the hang of it) - stick the kilojoules and saturated fats into a calculater with The Magic Formula to determine the 'points' value of anything you can put in your mouth (as in food and drinks, people! You! Out of the gutter, ploise!). You can earn 'bonus' points thru exercise and save up to 4 pts a day to carry over to another day in the same week.

Last time I did it I was fairly sucessful - 10 kilos in 13 weeks - and that was without counting alchohol points.

This time I am, and I'm learning something alarming over my gastronomic habits.

Lemme lay it down for you:

Day One:
Breakfast - 1 pt
Lunch - 4.5 pts
Dinner - 5.5 pts
Snacks - 2 pts
Alchohol - 3 pts.

Day Two:
Breakfast - 2 pts
Lunck - 2 pts
Dinner - 4 pts
Alchohol - 19 points.


Luckily, I slept until 2pm today - limiting the amount I could ingest - and I've re-balanced my used points and saved points to still be on the 'losing' team. Expect a 'number' post on Thursday after the first official weigh in.


On a somewhat related note - I'm proposing a boycott of Hogs Breath in Woden. Let me just say that girlfriend waitress who does not read back your order to ensure she's recorded it right after looking like she's been working a 12 hours shift (read: like a tired turd) should have no damn right to tell you that you ordered 'fries and vegies' and not 'mash and salad' because "I distinctly remember you telling me fries and vegies and it's what I've got written here so that's how it is"*

* I did stage a mini protest by leaving ALL the fat I could find on the steak still sitting there to congeal next to my un-eaten fries with my cutlery crossed (SNAP!) but The Hun and co. were still hungry and ate all the fries thus spoiling half of my protest (the other half spoiled when I had to explain what crossed cutlery meant to my friends so girlfriend proddly wouldn understand that anyways) AND I think we accidentally tipped her.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Was anyone else lucky enough to be home in time to see Bold n the Beautiful today?

Did you find it a little '4:30 unsuitable' to witness Stephanie (wrinkly old lady) tell Eric (her ex-husband) that she knows what real love looks like, so he and Brooke (pert young 3o something now married to Eric) should have sex on the couch now, Now NOWso she can watch and tell if it's for real?


As you were then.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Luck of the Irish... well, Japanese Irish*

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

Over dinner of pizza I recognised two different behaviours - One moving throughout the minigroups and the other sitting at the table with the chips; one hulking over a pizza box with her boyfriend and only participating between bites to offer advice (which it now appears she has no experience to be giving) and the other sitting over two pieces and lively participating in conversation; one joking about baking a fruit pie (it came in a box! *snicker!*) and the other asking when it would be ready.

And I thought to myself - I don't want to that type of person. Don't get me wrong, I don't want really be that type of person either, but she also portrayed a lot of behaviours related to insecurites about myself that struck too close to home.

Upon returing to work on Monday and chatting to my boss we realised that we really need to get serious about losing some weight. Don't get me wrong - I fit into my dress so I haven't packed on a fat-suit equivalent but I have some muffin I could shed.


Starting Thursday 12/01/06, my boss and I are attending our first WeightWatchers together (again, I've done it before!). We have pencilled in a new gym schedule. We have a target of losing 10 kilos each by Wednesday 12/04/06.

During this time there are quite a few milestones - The Huns sisters 21st, The Huns cousins wedding, my 24th (AAARGH!!!), The Huns 24th, A dinner for the two sets of parents to 'officially' meet, our 2 year anniversay, our 1-yr-living-together-anniversary, a trip to the coast, a trip (or two or three) to Sydney, potentially a trip to Melbourne, a couple of work birthdays etc etc etc. The fact that I realised these things points out one of my flaws - I'm associating all of these events with what I can eat at them and not just celebrating them for what they are.

I'm tired of being ruled by food.

News travelled quickly thru the bay (well, we were talking to the other one of the HR ladies) and she decided that she would use those dates to quit smoking. Not that she's 'really a smoker' - just when she's stressed, or at home of an afternoon, or cranky, or when she's walking over to get her lunch, or when she can bum one of someone.

Should she not have 'quit' by the April date she will be coming to a cycle class at the gym with us. Should we not lose the weight (apparantly 9kg may be okay but she will judge at the time), my boss and I must split the cost of her having lunch at the Hyatt. Should we all pass - lunch for everyone!!

There is also a seconday clause covering the three months aftwewards where we must stabilise our weight and she must resist the temptation to inhale some cancer.


The middle techo guy must get a six-pack (Three cheers for Body-for-life!)!

The junior techno guy must give up smoking too! (Big deal, he's a heavy smoker!).

The... no that's it (the rest of the team is still on holiday) (f*&#ers).

Watch as productivity falls! Witness a severe rise in absenteeism! Be shocked and awed as morale plummets!

And while you're at it, why not join in? Is there something you want to give up/take up/promise? Have a think about it - it seems to be the season for it.

*A friend visiting from working in Japan passed on a Japanese ribbon that features three leaf clovers. I plan to use it for strength and motivation.**

**It's the small things that help, people!

Monday, January 09, 2006

Do's and Don'ts for todays Domestic Goddess

Because I do the groceries, clean the fridge out and sometimes dabble in other domestic duties, I'd like to share some of my domestic knowledge with you.

Making a fairly decent Choco-banana loaf DO's:

DO mix 2 eggs, 3 bananas and 1 tsp of Vannilla Essence in a whizzy mixer you got from Woolies.

DO add 3/4 cup sugar, 2 cups of plain flour, 1 tsp baking soda and 1 tsp salt and mix.

DO add 1/2 cup chopped walnuts and 1/2 cup choco chips (double the recomended amount).

DO bake for an hour in a 180 degree oven.

DO comment that it's more bready than sweety and that next time u have to get rid of a freezer full of brown banana's you'll ensure it's a 'cake' rather than a 'load'

DO not stress about it because you're taking it home for family tea anyway so you won't have to labour through it all on your own.

Making a fairly decent Choco-banana loaf DON'Ts:

DON'T get lazy and decide that mixing the remaining two batters into one mega super cake is a good idea.

DON't mix 4 eggs, 6 bananas and 2 tsp of Vannilla Essence in a whizzy mixer you got from Woolies.

DON'T add 1.5 cup sugar, 4 cups of plain flour, 2 tsp baking soda and 2 tsp salt and mix.

DON'T add the rest of the chopped walnuts and enough of the choco chips so that you still have some to eat later.

DON'T do all of said mixing in a bowl that's only just a little bit two small for the amount of batter.

DON'T bake for only an hour and a little bit in a 180 degree oven.

DON'T presume it's cooked jus because one skewer comes out clean.

DON'T leave it on the hotplate for two hours while you wath Da Kath'n'Kym Code without doublechecking it's cooked.

DON'T cook ur heavenly dinner of premade lasagne, prepacked butter 'tatos and packaged couscous whilst leaving cake to 'cool' on the hotplate absorbing oven heat.

DON'T wait until 10pm to check the cake and find it raw on the inside.

DON'T attempt to cut a piece out anyway.

DON'T put it back in the oven for 20 minutes while you watch an episode of Arrested Development.

DON'T put it back in the oven for another 20 minutes while you watch another episode of Arrested Development.

DON'T put it back in the oven for Another 20 minutes with foil on while you watch Another episode of Arrested Development.

DON'T put it back in the oven for ANOTHER 20 minutes with foil on while you watch ANOTHER episode of Arrested Development.

DON'T trim of the 'good' bits and serve it up as dessert at 11:30pm on Sunday night.

DON'T get a lil offended when The Hun offers to take the bowls to kitchen and you notice he hasn't eaten it.


DON'T blog about it and post photo's to illustrate ur lack of cooking goddessness:

(Witness that a thorough search for 'good bits' was attempted as above)

(Note: 'good one' chopped up and stored in dodgy old Tupperware container background for transport to Mumsy's and Dadsy's, while The Hun attempts to drown the taste of raw banana loaf batter with icecream. Status: Mediocre at best)

Saturday, January 07, 2006

I borrowed it from a friend of a friend

I can't remember how, but I borrowed this "Meem" from here. Hers is proddly better and she's definately hotTer, but ah well - I'm on the cruisers and figure I can't do too much damage:

40 Questions....

My uncle once: {Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

Never in my life: have I attempted to inhale

When I was five: I told my pre-school teacher that my favourite song was Psycho Killer (fa-fa-fa-fire-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fire-fire)

High School was: the only time that I've ever sung in front of other people and even then it was so quiet I could only get D's.

I will never forget: seeing my Pa laying out in the front room the last time that I saw him. This is much better than remembering him being karted out to the morgue truck in a black bag, seeing him under the white sheet in the funeral parlour or knowing that he was in the box that my brothers had to carry.

I once met: The guy who played the eldest Brady. He was very gruff and had a psycho-man-fan.

There's this girl I know who: I wish would just come out and say it so that we could all be friends again.

Once, at a bar: I was concentrating so hard on not tripping down the stairs at Mooseheads that my heel broke and I nearly tripped down the stairs at Mooseheads.

By noon, I'm usually: Craving caffeine.

Last night: We played trivial pursuit at a friends house. *sigh*

If I only had: The idiots guide to blogging.

Next time I go to church: It'll proddly be for another wedding and I'll proddly feel guilty for not going more often.

Terry Shiavo: and her family were in a position I never hope to be in.

What worries me most: is dying, though I don't keep myself awake at night over it.

When I turn my head left, I see: one of the cushions that The Huns mum made him.

When I turn my head right, I see: The Hun and a friend playing Bomberman and drinking Sol beer (the poor mans Corona).

You know I'm lying when: I try and hide my dimples.

What I miss most about the eighties: is my infamous outfit of purple trackies, giant hot pick turtleneck and a black belt.

If I was a character in Shakespeare, I'd be: Ophelia, so Mel Gibson could play my boyf and we could heart on each other.

By this time next year: I hope to be blogging a little better and not jus reverting back to this meme!

A better name for me would be: Queen of the Cosmos!

I have a hard time understanding: Geography. India is in Asia, people!!!

If I ever go back to school, I'll: NOT keep a mouse in my sleeve in Music class.

You know I like you if: I dress my boobs for you.

If I ever won an award, the first person I'd thank would be: The Acadamy.

Darwin, Mozart, Slim Pickens & Geraldine Ferraro: Dolphins, piano, card games and chocolates.

Take my advice, never: take back a guy that's cheated or after you've realised he's crap and dumped him and especially not both!

My ideal breakfast is: Hash Browns, Bacon, Eggs, grilled mushrooms and a redeye.

A song I love, but do not own is: Don't Cha by The Pussycat Dolls *only half a shameful cringe*

If you visit my hometown, I suggest: you visit coz I never left it!

Tulips, character flaws, microchips & stars: driving to Sydney, earthquackes, green metal squares and the fact that there is one named after me!

Why won't people: maintain a sense of self once they are in a couple?

If you spend the night at my house: I'll bring you out a doona.

I'd stop my wedding for: a roast WITH Tom Cruise a tissue *sniff*

The world could do without: war. I mean honestly, WTF is it good for?

I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: listen to someone complain about animal testing/kill for work. If you can do that shit without any moral dilemma then you get no sympathy, bisnatch!

My favorite blonde is: BRIT-BRIT!

Paper clips are more useful than: those dinky clips that you need the special ejector thing for. You know what I'm talking about.

If I do anything well, it's: make dirty and suggestive comments.

And by the way: If you wanna DIY I'd love to come round and read it!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

I'm just not cricket

Well, I'm just not AT cricket, although I have been watching it on the telly.

But I'll start at the beginning and then can rest in the knowledge that I've wrapped up the holiday experience and need never speak of it again!

The Pen family holiday started out as you would expect - only four of the eight of us made it through the metal detector the first time, and there was a lot of holdup as little Canberra airport was punished by the great gonky lot of us needing to go through the detector again and again and again. Then I cut my thumb knuckle on the toilet paper dispenser. This was not boding well.

The flight was ok - I managed to numb out the turbulance by turning up the volume on Lumines (Yesssss! I was a good girl this year!!!!) although it wasn't that pleasent being cramped up next to middle brother whose propensity to sweat bucket loads whilst being cold and clammy yet inflicting terrible heat on others never fails to amaze me. Luckily he got moved to the 'emergency door' row for a lil more breathing room, but not that luckily in case of emergency as it was his first plane trip and had no idea what type of burden he was carrying.

We were meant to be staying at the resort the whole time, but in what was soon to become typical behaviour of the place as a whole, they stuffed up the bookings and we got to spend three days in Brisbane first. Brisbane is freaking hot. The air is thick and wet yet super hot, dry and buring at the same time. Fortunately, we were booked in the Rendezvous:

Freakin awesome. We had two apartments booked and each apartment had two seperate areas in it - luck of the Enny meant that The Hun and I got the half of our allocated apartment (with eldest brother and his gf) with the queen bed, lcd screen, kitchen, loungeroom etc etc. Dinner at the pub across the road was enlightening as once my mum had decided it was time for bed, she skulled my brothers black lable cruiser (unprompted) - aghast looks of disgust soon turned to encouragement as she worked her way down. Don't say we don't have class! The night ended for The Hun and I shortly after as we headed back to watch The Batchelor, while my brothers and the gf headed into the valley and lived it up at The Beat before realising they were in a gay club and left halfway thru the floor show.

(Side Note - did anyone see the final of 5 days to Midnight?! I got hooked on episodes 2-4 but missed the final one and can't find a complete rundown!!!)

The next day we headed down to the museum where they had an exhibit on (dum dum DUM!) horror movies! There was a lot of King Kong stuff in there, and did you know that every horror movie that contains a scene with a monster carrying a lady can be linked back to a 1700's statue which depicted a monkey man carrying away dead lady that was destroyed due to outrage but then another was created where the lady seemed to like it and then it was the influence for all of horror for all of time?

We headed down to the river for a delightful photo op with youngest bro:
(Heh heh heh, Wang Nasty)

and then headed for slushies where I managed to snap the motley crue in what was to become typical it's-too-hot-to-freakin-do-anything pose styles:

(L-R: Middle Bro, The Hun, the gf, Eldest Bro, Youngest Bro, Dadsy and Mumsy)

The rest of the day was spent sweating around the city, the night was spent at a restaraunt and the next day was spent on a car trip to Crapalbyn Kooralbyn. We were booked into two cabins - one of which didn't have airconditioning and the other of which would not be available for another two hours.

The rest of the trip is a bit of a blur - there was a lof of cars, uno, drinking, lumines, napping, drinking, putt-putt and eating. We visited a Crepe shop where they made one dish, pottered back to the kitchen, made the next dish so on and so one for eight meals, then charged to $15 for the pleasure of two dingy not-even-snack-sized crepes. We visited my uncles house that is considently five degrees warmer than Brisbane and has no air-con so that my mum almost passes out, but I believe we drove past here which was a little bit of blogger excitement for yours truly (tho I couldn't be completely mistaken as my memory and geography are poor and my tendency to misimagine things are high)! We also were haunted by a 'house monster' - a strange barking noise that was untrackable until eldest brother went to the bathroom after middle brother and was disgusted then pleasantly suprised and then disgusted again:

(It's a frog, not a turd)

The wedding was held outside in such heat that there were sweats dripping down our legs (not just mine, I checked) and for me - tissue bits under my arms after attempting to partake in damage control. It was lovely and short and it wasn't long before we were up at the reception area - there were rumours of a bar tab over the 140 guests and further investigation unveiled that this ran out before two hours was up BUT it was very generous of them to continue to pay up until midnight, at which time we left.

I won't go into how frustrated I got, or how I discovered my limit to my patience and tolerance, or just how sick I can get of my family, extended family and being squooshed in next to my middle brother who got the flu and continued his trend of sweating bucket loads whilst being cold and clammy and inflicting terrible heat on me whilst also getting a cold and sneezing everywhere for what was more than 6 hours of car time.

I will sum it up with a delightful snap taken outside of the real estate office:

The Kooralbyn Reality was looking pretty grim.
(NB - eldest bro doesn' have star tats - it's jus not cricket to show his nips on the net.)

Oh yeah! The reason we arne't at the cricket is coz The Hun got a cold from all the sneeze juice flying around.

Good times, good times.