Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Trading Places 101

Total. Identity. Swap.

Officially, as of this morning, Enny-Pen is re-entering the schooling pool as a new The Student.

That's right - I'll be hitting the refectory and bludging in the bar as of July 05 as a part time Commerce student.

And who knows? Maybe by mid 2011 I'll finally have some sort of qualification!

I do feel a little ripped in the whole identity swap thang that I haven't spent all my non-student time at film festivals tho'...

*Practices sleeping sitting up*

Sunday, June 26, 2005

Check out those burns down the side

One of the security guards at the club we were at last night had no sideburns.

Now, if you said that to me (like 'hey, the security guard over there has no sideburns') I proddly wouldn't look up out of the bottom of my cruiser bottle to give you even a 'whateva - I'm drinkin' glance. Coz not all guys have sideburns. Right?


The Hun has mid length sideburns, a stange copper-blonde colour, pulled in tight pubey curls.

Youngest Bro has fruzzy sideburns (indistinguishable from his fruzzy do) that grow a little too far down his face for the they're-long-in-a-trendy-type-of-way, but more of a yeah-I'm-just-too-lazy-to-make-any-effort-with-facial-or-scalpal-hair kinda way. And they're crooked.

Last three guys I've seen picture's of while lurking this afternoon:

Crazy Cruisey - Little shortman-with-'tood 'burns.

Soon to be BB05 winner (here's hopin!) Tim - choppy, elfish, pixie-fluff 'burns.

Luscious Lote - Drop dead gorgeous rough-em-up 'burns.

I guess I've just never noticed it before!

Check em on a man near you.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Piggybacking Jelly's SuperPost

A week at home has meant much obsessive blog lurking. So when I saw this post on Jelly's blog, I had to go here and create my own...

With a much less interesting and comprehensive opening story, meet Everyday Enny-Pen:

* Brown hair in sensible ponytail with no blonde showing as her highlights are grown out and she is too lazy to get her roots done!

* Sensible shoes in a slightly unsensible colour to make up for the fact she's too tall for heels!

* Bandaged right hand from run-in with hotplate!

BUT! With the power of a light meal and a 4 pack of Black Label Cruisers, she becomes:


* Red hair that doesn't look like she's trying to be cool and it's not tied back for a change!

* Companioned by her very own puppy!

* Supersexy wink and totally 'come hither' lips!

* FM boots worn without the slightest hesitation! With slight heel!

* Lighting bolt hand to repel burning sensations!

And for your viewing pleasure, I introduce to you Everyday The Hun:

* Hair that's neither really brown OR blonde!

* Funky Shoes!

* Sensible work clothes (for office use only!)

BUT! Give him half an hour of Big Brother UnCut and he morphs into...



* Pink Gun! Pink Wings! Pink Tights!

* Musical Aura (particularly after his patended home-made curry attack)!

(He did this one himself so I'm really struggling here....)

* Fingerlike Skin Chin (for those hard-to-reach places)!

Why not make one of your own?!

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Creepy Cadbury People

Don't you think it's creepy they eat blocks of their own flesh?

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Listen 2 ur parents, kidz!

apologies fot the shonky abbreviated post - i'm typing this left handed and i'm not v patient @ the best of times!

seems that i shoulda paid more attention to the old n grumblies while they were lecturing a baby young enny-pen on why NOT to touch a hotplate. when it's on. with ur whole hand.

what started as a careful excercise in making sure i didn't put the huns new tupperware onto a warm hotplate ended in a white hand with the texture of a walnut, a melted tupperware lid, a kitchen full of acrid smoke and a grumpy hun.

luckily, the hun got his licence las week n was able 2 whip me over to woden valley hospital (hold ur tongue n say it!) and we emerged round 1am with indiviually wrapped fingers and palm, bandage and a sling.

on the upside, i'm not allowed in2 work till after the wrapping comes off nex mon morn and it's not causing me much pain at all.

on the flipside, i'm unable to do the little things like pull back my hair, crack open a pepsi max or get the toothpaste outta the tube.

when i get full faculty back, i'll proddly exagerate more on how it happened, but one handed typing is a bitch (i dunno how all those lonely guys do it!) so i'll proddly jus keep lurkin the blogs and catchin up on desperate housewives and cinematic lassis like 'bedazzled' and 'chicago'.

so ttfn, and remember,
hot = ouch!

Friday, June 17, 2005

Did you know I have a toothache?

Put down that pen!
Don't buy that sympathy card!
Stop strutting to the Mailbox!

I had a toothache*.

A throbbing pain each time I had anything to eat. Or drink. Like water. Or fun-sized Crunchies. Even ice-cream hurt! *gasp*

That was, until I tried Cedel toothpaste.

Yeah, it's disturbingly un-pliable (look it up!). I agree my morning gym breath smells even more like ass than usual. Sure, it tastes like my toothbrush is the victim of that joke where you get robbed and the intruder has 'intervened' with all your personal items.

But thanks to Cedel toothpaste, now I can eat icecream 'til The Hun comes home (if I hadn't eaten it all already).

I heart my Cedel asstoothpaste.

*Warm hugs*

Note: True Story. End Note.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Don't you hate it?

Ideas often flash across our minds more complete than we could make them after much labour.
- La Rochefoucauld

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Yeah yeah. I'll pick and settle on a profile pic soon, I promise.

With The Hun's friends coming over and my total lack of anything better to do, I've been sitting on a beanbag in the loungeroom for 8 hours now, croozin blogs.

I've managed to skim through a fair variety of them - going thru my favourite sites to their favourite sites, to their favourites and so on which got me to thinking... WTF am I writing? WTF am I trying to achieve? WTF aren't I anywhere near as inspiring or amusing or honest or heartwrenching or creative as the hundreds (or at least dozens) of other awesome blogs that I've come across that inspired me to start in the first place?

I know that it isn't going to come to me in a blinding moment with the clouds parting, and the hand coming down and the great booming voice, so I thought that I might splain a bit about my favourites and why they're favourites. This might give me a bit of insight into myself (not like that picture of the person in the shower with their head up their ass that I don't really want to post here but you all know what I'm talking about) and a clearer direction.

So tonight, in honor of playing 500 with The Hun and co., I give you EnnyPens Suite of Blogs that all have meaning to her in one way or another but are grouped under a more collective catchier title that I can't quite think of at the moment:

*********** ***********

Teej Mahal was the first blog I ever found. I can't even remember how I found it, except for vague memories of getting the link via RiotACTor vice versa. At first I read it with a stalker-like intensity - A spunky, funny and engrossing 20-she-something from Canberra. I could visualise the places she visited, imagine the type of people she hung round with, and could totally picture her pissing it up in Garema place before completing the ritual that is Post Grog Chicken Gourmet. She sounded jus like the type of person I would be rendered totally speechless in inferiority if I actually met or saw her, so I'm just a lurker at the Teej Mahal.

She doesn't write as much as she used to (or as much as I and lotsa others would like it), but I still naively check in there each day (and some weekends!) and am happily suprised when I find something new.

So Teej, for your totally engaging, mesmerising and familiar styl3z, I want you to know you're the first blog I'd recommend to all 20-something trendy-wannabe chicks who want to be totally inspired and/or inspiring, blog-wise and life-wise.

You are inspiring me to talk more about Canberra, so that out of towners can get more of an idea of what it's really like, and so that insiders can try and get some of that sense of familiarity that you gave me.

You get to be Hearts because it's always been my favourite suite, and you'll always be a favourite blog to me (awwww) (totally not meant in a girl-slash-girl love type of way).

*********** ***********

I'm not sure how I found Jellyfish either. But, it had much the same reaction for me that Teej did . What I love about her blog is the way that you can see how much she has grown and changed, both as a person and a blogger. I also love how she started as 'total nerdz0r' but you can see the way that blogging has affected her everyday life, and vice versa (in a good way!).

Jelly, for the way I feel I would totally not be intimidated by you in real life, but always feel like the gonkier, taller, hanger-onnerrer, the way you have given me realistic hope in that I can only get better and better, and the way that you are getting too cool for me, I'd totally give you change for the train station vending machine, an arched eyebrow when you hang around for 'just one more drink' and bag of microwave popcorn to go with 'My Fair Lady'.

You are inspiring me to open up and admit all of the embarrassing everyday occurrences that I have and make them into some fantastical journey that everyone can cringe along with as they remember the time they did something just like it or worse.

You get to be Spades, because they look like shovels and sometimes it seems you need one to dig yourself outta the shit you get yourself into!

*********** ***********

Again - dunno how I found it. And again, similar to Jelly, you can see how her style of writing has changed from her first blog to her most recent. What I love about CB is her totally unfathomable creative direction - the way she can just pluck a thought from the wind and spin it into a web of thought, feeling and creativity. I love the way that I am yet to find a blog like hers, and I am yet to find a post that is similar to one of hers and as well done. She holds a special place for me in that she was the first person to add a comment to me and it really meant a lot, and she is also very lucky in having a very supportive and dedicated group of commenters that are there for her each time she logs in and hanging on her every thought and word.

CB, you have an emotional depth in your writing that I can only hope to aspire to. You're more like Teej in that I'd probably be intimidated by you in real life, but you resonate a deep and reflective soul that I would be drawn to.

You are inspiring me to try and look deeper at myself and have the guts to write about what I really think and feel.

You get to be Diamonds because they're expensive and sparkly, and would totally complement the corporate hardcore image that you are to me.

*********** ***********

Oooh, where do I start - I get all schoolgirly and flighty when I read her posts - I'm such a prude. Reading her posts has been (up until very recently) the closest thing I had ever experienced to porn. It is so totally incomprehensible that there are such totally outrageous people out there, so totally amazingly rock-level of coolness (totally, Totally, TOTALLY). She has introduced a lot of new vocabulary into my mental dictionary - all sorts of terms that I could in no way incorporate into my ho-hum daily existence as I have nothing anywhere like it. It's a lot like the time I read that medical dictionary and felt naughty looking at all the sex bits.

You inspire me to cyber-cuss in amounts closer to what I do in real life, and try to open up more about 'those types of things' that everyone loves to read.

Ms Fits, you get to be Clubs, for that way that my even mentioning you may bring down your coolness, resulting in you tracking me down and cyberclubbing me to death (yeah, I know it's a shitty comparison, I just can't do any better atm!!!).

*********** ***********

I know I probably haven't put this all into words very well, but these are five fuckin awesome blogs run by five very different and very inspiring grrls.

Top job ladies - golf claps, cucumber sandwiches and pats on the back all round.

Friday, June 10, 2005

F-wit Friday

Of all of the little things that bother me at work, lack of email etiquette is a biggie.

It's amazing how much of someones f()ckwittedness can come through in a medium that is blamed for 'misrepresenting' people's true intentions.

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

Monday, June 06, 2005

Everybody Robot!

In an effort not to ruin my Stellar WeightWatchers effort from last year, I joined Fernwood last week.

Stubborn me had to eat a piece of humble pie as I remembered fat-faced smirking the twiggy blondes festering around the Hyperdome last year, vowing never to be sucked into that type of con.

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

So I joined.

And I feel great for it (even though it looked like I was doing The Robot each time I took a step Wed-Fri last week).

Even if the changerooms are filled with woman in their 40s walking round in g-strings (they feel like they're in their 20's again!) (on the inside) (not that I've tested myself).

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

And even if I hear 'nipples' more than I quota'd for ('line that bar up with your nipples girls') (Though I guess that if some of these women are lining the bar up with their chest it could be down around their waist) (Heh heh - nipple jockey).

I like feeling that for once I might be in the top half of the gym population. And it's nice to be told for the first time in your life 'I don't think you need to slim down'. And I like having an excuse for not having to count my points as much as I should.

Life is Beautiful!

*Celebrates with mounds of takeaway and buckets of Cruisers*

Thursday, June 02, 2005

7hrs, 21 minutes of SIDEBAR!

Go Here.

Make your own one of these:

Zoom in on the hunkolicious iHoff pic.

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

You know you're making it big Blogstyl3z when...

With this post still on the brain, I recognised a familiar (can you say familiar if you had never noticed/heard something before?) noise in the ladies this morning- Kegel Muscle Location practice.

I devised a *super-stealthy* detective plan and sat 'quiet as a mouse', peeking through the (door) crack as they washed their hands to find out who it was.

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

Too. Much. Info.