Enny celebrates the big 'twenty-five-oh' with a slap in the face and unforgettable story

That's right! 250 posts! Go me!

And I had planned to share just an unforgettable story, but I will intervene with my slap in the face before finishing with the story, so that I can get it out of my system and never need speak of the events of the past week again (not to mention ever have to think about it again)(But y'all jus know it'll reappear in my planned 'hypotheticals' series) (skip after the slap if you have no interest in such petties) (and skip this entire post if toilet humour is not your thang)...

***** START SLAP *****

SO.

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

This forum is good - somewhere to get thoughts out where they can't hurt. But I might need to change the address - I think there's value in total anonymity.

I'm pretty sure you can guage how I felt when I read that. And how I feel now. And in my heart of hearts I'm pretty sure she didn't mean it the way that if feels (if there's a lesson to be learnt here then I'm choosing to ignore it at this stage). But that will stay with me for a very long time. And I guess that due to my lack of total anonymity I can't really say any more on it... So if you're reading? Be sure to send me a postcard a tell me about how good it feels. FFS.

***** END SLAP *****

And without further ado - would you like to here a story to stay with YOU for life?

Someone* once told me something that I don't think I will ever forget - Rarely a day or two goes past that I don't think of it in one way or another - yet I've never told anyone else...

But I think it's important to mark 'special occassions' with things like this:

"Enny, do you want to hear something you'll never forget?"

"Sure!"

"When I sit down on the toilet for number twos, I have to spread my butt cheeks apart."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"Yeah! Now I can't go do it without making sure I'm spread out properly!"

"WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?!!"

"Because as soon as I was told, I could never forget it! You'll see! "

"...Thanks..."

Happy 250 to me
Hapy 250 to me
Happy 250 dear Enny
Happy 250 to meeee!

* Bonus points if you can guess who told me!

This is not a diversionary tactic

Seriously!

There's no WAY I'd instantly try to post something upbeat immediatley as pennance for my emo teen-angst (perhaps mars'n'dot are looking for more housemates?!).

My issue is that I could feel my belly jiggling when I was at kickboxing tonight.

I've done the right thing - I've joined the gym - but that doesn't stop the 'naughty' snacks.

Waking up and starting the day on a healthy note - PButter on toast, juice, vittymins, redeye, air-popped popcorn... salad for lunch, mandarin, corn biscuits...

AND THEN?

Half a packet of v. chocolate biscuits.

And again the next day. And with v ice cream for dessert.

And today was going well until the kettles chips at 3pm. And the salted mixed nuts after work. And the Ali Baba WITH CHIPS and a cruiser for dinner.

People - please help me?

I hate looking at my bright red man arms in the gym mirror, and feeling my belly wobbly when I run or get kicked or do situps...

(PS - I get my gym program on Sunday, but because this is not a diversionary tactic I need some input)

(PSS - Thanks for being a friend)

(PPSS - Would you like to come round for some v chocolate biscuits? I PROMISE they taste like real TimTams....)

It hurts...

... to see someone hurting...
...and being torn between wanting to say something ...
...and knowing that you said that you wouldn't...

***Extended Remix Version with Directors Commentary***

It may now be evident that the events of the last week have started to take their toll on the little 'community'.

What started as a whisper and built up to breeze, arrived as a tornado on Friday. I'm no meteorologist, but there were two or three aftershocks felt through the community, affecting different parties at different times.

And when it seemed that the dust had settled?

You. ain't. seen. nothin. like. it.

In some ways, it's good that it's not all about me. It's good that it's not about this.

But in other ways - it's very Very VERY bad.

I know I was naive to believe that when it all began that things would be fine - could carry on as normal - that it could even make things better!

But then, I am the worlds naivest, most gullible and mentally underprepared lil thang that e'er traipsed these lands.

The fallout has shaken everyone.

Four parties moving together - terrified and angry, hurt and excited, so so honest yet so so opaque.

And when they were about to meet in the middle?

I put up my hand and did the only thing that would surely put it all to an end. Not a happy ending, not the ending the naive me had hoped for, not rainbows and puppy dogs and sunshine.

It was either all in or all out.

And the four corners backed away - heads bowed, tear stained, exhausted and unsure. Two by two returning to how it was before, and none really the better for it.

And this is the new 'end'.

An end that is from the wrong book.

An end that is not an end, but no more a start or a middle.

An end that is not the end.

And still, there is a breeze. A breeze coming from a different direction.

What is? What caused it to stir up? Where is going? Is it strong enough that I should notice? Is it too strong that I should have noticed earlier? Strong enough that it catches my eye but is disregarded as just another breeze. or so strong that I should rush out to greet the storm.

It pains me that all are left so unsure - it pains me that it has gone this way - it pains me that this really is the most unsure, confused, concerned and helpless I have EVER felt in my life.

There are news walls in the community - it has been a week of frantic action - constructing, deconstructing, shifting and reinforcing.

So although there is a wall there - I'm unsure of how high and how strong it is.

If I attempt to climb over, is it going to be the final straw?
Can there be a final straw when it seems that it can't get any worse?

I know there are lines that I can never cross again - but in a world of darkness and shifting mists, how do you know if you're too close or too far?

Tagged!

Another Five Things meme, this time from the Delightful Jen (she really IS delightful):

The Five Things Meme

In my handbag
- Broken crappy unportable iPod
- Spiffy can't-live-without-it organiser (paper based but leather (so will replace only when completely wrecked))
- Oroton coin purse (so cute - a gift - leather (so will replace only when completely wrecked))
- Nokia flip phone
- PSP (Lumines battle anyone>!)

In my fridge
- Icky stifry made with the wrong mixed veggies that I hafta have for lunch tmr as celery makes The Hun gag
- Redeye
- Cruisers
- Floradix Florivital
- Vegan cheese slices

In my closet
- An empty CK mens trunks box (to perve on)
- My Riggadoon doll, 'Rusty' (anyone else have one of those?!)
- Four formal dresses
- An alarming number of girly potions and makeup for someone who only wears makeup quarterly and...
- TOO MANY HANDBAGS

In my car
(Ugh - what's NOT in my car?!)
- Martial arts stuff (including uniform, belt, sparring gear (inc insta-bust chest guard!), two jo's and a briefcase)
- Empty Redeye bottles
- Several socks and shoes
- FULL SIK SUBWOOFAH
- Empty packets of noodles, sultanas, skittles, bottled water (you get the picture...)

First five to nominate get to do it - even if it's just in the comments!

I wasn't kidding about the increase in hits...

EnnyPen 101 - Week One

Yes it IS that time again already!

Uni has started again (only one sixth of the way thru my degree!!!!), and with it has come the first tinge of excitement, only to be smothered by the damp dark dogbreathness that it really is.

The tinge of excitement was at the way my lecture today was much better than expected - I thought the course was gonna be about memorising theorists and diagrams, but it seems to be more about TEH PEEPS so I'm looking forward to it.

What squashed it? Realising that whilst the course is more about TEH PEEPS and psych-type stuff, I was sandwhiched tween eldest bro (who's gf is a psych-type) and The Huns sister (who is a psych-type). Me? Durr... Jack of some trades, master of none.

Then there was the additional joy of having to hand over almost $200 for textbooks, which is taking me $200 further away from an iPod that works.

Additionally, uni is spread over two days this semester (impractical!) with a 9:30 - 2:30 stint on a Tuesday (with a one hour break for leering at barely-legals in the refect) and an 8:30 - 10:30 blargh on a Wednesday.

AND it seems to be following the typical plan of 'one interesting and one boring/one good and one bad/one thought based and one fact based', the lecture I have tmr is for a course that appears to be maths.

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahths.

So on top of all that I'm driving an extra almost 100km a week just for uni travel, I'll be whittling down any flex I've managed to scrape together and I'm getting tired of the PussyCatDolls CD that I can't help but pump each time I get into the car...

Stay tuned for next weeks THRILLING episode...

Housekeeping - Hooray for Bullet Points!

• After a brief stint as a hermit, I've hung my home sweet home sign up back on the wall at enny-pen.blogspot.com. This is my place and I'm not about to move, lease it, be evicted or do that thing where the people come round and deem it unsafe and put the sign on the door to stop people coming in. And thanks for the support and kind words I've received.
  

• Want ppl to leave your party? Try hitting them in the eye with a newspaper - it works a treat (ask The Hun)!

• What's that song with the line 'All my friends are getting married'? Magf is engaged!
  

• And is there a song with the lyrics 'All my friends are having babies'? Mrs Batman is havvin a lillun! Feb '07. All together now - Awwww.

• And is there a song that goes 'I got told both of those pieces of news within five minutes of each other'? No? Mebbe I should get Erica to compose it for me.

• Donations/dastardly plans for my 'save $5000 and then be allowed to buy a new iPod that will work without a plug (ie a PORTABLE portable music player)' fund would be much appreciated.

Coincidence?

Is it? That the same day that the whole anonymous blog thang falls to sh!t is the same day I record the highest amount of hits to my site?

Who knows?

(besides EVERYONE else?)

Ooooh yeah - I've been drinking.

So why not ask me how my week's been?

What? You just did?

Well, lemme tell you.

I've been moody all week. I've been tired, cranky and potentially hormonal. I'm not losing weight - if anything I'm going up - and so I've been entertaining the thought that maybe I'm pregnant (v not likely) and then I feel guilty coz my 'occassional' cruiser with dinner has been happening more and more often so if I DID get accidentally pregnant then my baby would be brain damaged and I'd never drink again.

So besides stupid random thoughts as above, my boss has been on leave, so I've been busy.

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

I've been moping around the house feeling sorry for myself - The Hun has an icky chest cold, and is unhappy with his job (rightfully so) so the more upset he gets, the more upset I get. I seem to spend my time getting outta bed first, getting ready in the cold, making lunch, going to work, coming home, checking the net for 30 mints, going to martial arts, coming home, cooking dinner and then going to bed while The Hun watches Le Tour and falls asleep on the couch. I spend my time ranting all my issues to everyone but him and then I go nuts at him that we don't talk about anything important anymore. 5 days a week. Then we do nothing all weekend. And I get told off for the house being messy and not doing anything. Wah wah wah etc - you get the picture.

And of couse it's all exagerated, coz that's what I like to do.

AND NOW, following up ramble styles from yesterdays post - I'm even more despondent.

So eldest bro's gf has read the blog occassionally.

Middle bro only reads it when he has nothing else to read and thinks it's a good opportunity to make me look like more of a prick than I already appear (RL and otherwise).

Youngest bro dun give a f()ck about it and is the only one I told.

And eldest bro gf told me eldest bro knows about it but dun read it, but then tells her that he only told me about the 'L word' thing because he read it here.

Yeah, see that? I'm not even colouring them orange I'm that frickin emotional about all this bullshit.

What I hate is the feeling that my space has been encroached.

And I don't care if that's not a word.

And I'm not THAT frickin thick - I KNOW it's on the internet so EVERY frickin man and his dog can read it, but that's not what it was about.

It wasn't intended for people I know. And it wasn't intended for people I know to tell other people I know. And it wasn't intended for the other people I know to then use what they know and tell others who don't know to make it look like I'm off blabbing every little snippet. And it wasn't intended for me to have to explain to others how someone found out something that I was sworn to secrecy about that they were sworn to secrecy about. And then to all sit back and have a frickin tea party discussion on how superior and super secret and cool I think I am in bloglife when I'm just a piece of sh!t in RL.

So now what? Do I have to be looking over my shoulder? Do I not talk write about anything that actually happens? Do I not get the opportunity to say what I really think anymore? Do I instead write hypothetical essays that don't indicate who or what or where or when it may be related to RL (as suggested by The Hun)? I'm not shooting down his idea, but the reason I started this whole shebang was because I thought I'd had plenty of interesting stories to tell, not because I'm an awesome writer who wants to be published and is blogging to keep up the practice. I'm not doing it for the love of the frickin written word. It's because I like the opportunity to express and share and meet new people, get new perspectives, read new things.

It makes me mad. There are so many issues in the issue that make me mad that I can't even talk about because f()ck knows who's reading this and is going tell whoever else f()cking knows.

If there are ppl I know reading, then that's fine. I'd rather I know and have some discussion on it so that I have the opportunity to say 'if you want to read, that's fine, but you'll know more about me then you want to and that's YOUR choice. '

F()CK you for every time you sat back and laughed at something I thought.

I don't want to hafta frickin censor myself.

And the thing I hate Hate HATE is knowing that people I see or speak to weekly, biweekly or more have known about this the whole time. And not said a fricking thing to my face.

The thing I HATE most in Rlife is looking the fool. Especially when it's to more than one person. Especially to people that I thought would tell me sooner and not betray my trust. Because if they really knew me like I thought they did, they would know it's the one thing that would upset me the most.

OBVIOUSLY.

HEARTATTACKED

I was having lunch with a friend from highschool a month or two ago - she's the one with the baby (must remember to give her a nickname!) - and we'd just settled down to eat in the foodcourt when she realised she had no napkins for the messy lil boy.

"No worries" I said "I'll get you some".

And I did.

When I sat down I pointed out to her that we'd walked right past a lady laying in the middle of the foodcourt, surrounded by ambo's and concerned onlookers.

"We were so caught up in lunch we didn't notice! How rude!" she observed.

Since then, I've noticed that they've placed defribillator machines all around the shopping centre.

HOWEVER.

Today I discovered a better way to shock your heart around (in an 'OMG I THINK I'M GONNA THROW UP MY HEART' kinda way).

Get an email from eldest bro's gf confessing she's been reading your blog for some time, after middle bro told her there was stuff about her here.

Have more, will post tomorrow.

(PS - suggestions for how to deal with middle bro would be VERY much appreciated - if you're reading this one buddy boy, beware....)

Hold the phones

I have an update.

(Permission to unbait the breath you're all holding)
(You'll need it - it might be a lil lengthy)

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

PS - do u think I cursed the Pink Floyd guy by using his album cover?!

FeeeEEEeeelings

With the end of the first semester of 2006 comes a gamut of emotions.

Relief at the thought that I need never open a Marketing or Economics text anytime in the forseeable future.

Nerves as Eldest Bro reads my results over the phone.

Elation at marks higher than P's (Credit for Eco, Distinction for Mktg).

Jealousy at Eldest Bro's two HD's.

Retrospection (shaddup - it IS a feeling) on whether I shoulda studied harder.

Dissapointment as the realisation settles that I've never received a HD.

Comforting Evil Glee at the thought that his high scores were not earnt entirely alone.

Confirmation that Eldest Bro and I will be in the same tute for the same course next semester leaves me feeling.....?

Looking for perspective like that Pink Floyd cover...

You know: one thing goes in, lotsa different things come out...?!

Nayways, I was just wondering what people would have to say/think about this.

I have a "friend of a friend" (it's not me!) who has been in a relationship for about 18 months. I introduced them at a party (yes!! me!!!) and they hit it off pretty much straight away, although there was some intervention on mine and gf1's behalf to get them to 'work it out'.

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

Skip this one if ur over the vegan thang

Check out my recent emails with a Subway (eat fresh!) rep:

----------------------------

From: Enny
To: Subway Peeps

Hi,

I was just wondering which (if any) of your breads are suitable for vegans?

Kind Regards,
Enny

----------------------------

From: (Subway rep)
To: Enny

Yes they are vegan friendly.

Kind regards,
(Subway rep)

----------------------------

From: Enny
To: (Subway rep)

Hi (Subway rep),

I'm presuming the Parmesan Oregano bread isn't vegan due to the cheese.

Can you please confirm for me which breads do not contain ANY animal products?

Kind Regards,
Enny

----------------------------

From: (Subway rep)
To: (Other Subway rep)

Ummm… can you help me…?

From: (Other Subway rep)
To: (Subway rep)

The only vegan friendly options are:

White, Wheat & Honey Oat

From: (Subway rep)
To: Enny

FYI - Please see (above)

----------------------------

From: Enny
To: (Subway rep)

Hi (Subway rep),

Thanks for that - Also, it might help to take the Honey Oat off the vegan list - the majority of vegans won't eat honey!

Thanks again,
Enny

----------------------------

*rolls eyes in superior elitist manner*
*conducts internal monologue about how SOME people JUST DON'T GET IT*
*hunts kitchen for those vegan choccie biscuits*

Blast from the Past

I was shrugging my way down the aisles of woollies tonight and recognised someone across the tomatoes that I hadn't seen for years, Years, YEARS.

I worked with him for a few years, when I was a casual and going to uni. He was a few years older, into a bit of pot and lanky, but he was a good guy at heart and always good for a chat.

The place was always a bit of dive - a collection of randoms from all walks of life. Of particular note were two girls who lived together and worked together and only hung out together. Their pay combined was enough to cover the rent, some pot and a few Cadbury Breakaways.

I noticed him spending more time with the girls, hanging out with them more in and out of work, and spending more shifts shuffling around in a bit of a daze.

There was rumour that he'd cheated on his girlfriend - the sister of one of the other staff - with the shorter and 'smarter' of the two girls. His girlfriend of years had found out and dumped him. Nothing was said to him but his behaviour was noted - he was sadder, more withdrawn and quieter. I'd make an extra effort to try and talk more, keep him involved and keep him in touch, but never talk about any of the issues - how could I?

I came in early one afternoon, on a day where he started at lunch and worked through until 8. The manager had also arrived and told me that I had to do the washing up first thing. I must've looked puzzled - each time he did the day shift he was always sure to do the washing up for us - but did it without asking.

As I was washing, he came around the back of the store to wash his hands at the sink next to mine, and I was the only one to see the bandages on his wrists.

"What have you done?! Why?!"

"Please don't tell anyone" he said "it's nothing. I couldn't do it - it looks worse than it is. Please don't tell."

It wasn't long after that that he left. He couldn't keep working with the girl that had ruined his happiness - a moment of weakness on his behalf, an opportunity that came without remorse for her.

I'd often wondered where he was. What he was doing. How he was going. In the years since I'd seen him I'd run that scene over and over through my head.

I was so glad to see him, so glad he saw me, so glad I could finally put my worst fears out of my head.

"I almost didn't recognise you!" "Time has ravaged me, huh?"

We were able to chat quite openly, interupted only by customers trying to get to the zuchinis behind us. He'd lived with the two girls for about a year, but got sick of the drama. They'd stolen a lot of his stuff, then lied to the police when they were called in to assist him in getting it back. His last moment of triumph was telling the taller girl what the other really thought of him as he left the house for the last time.

He's moved onto bigger and better things, a job that challenges him and keeps him learning. He ran into the short girl that ruined his life - his job took him to her job. The first thing she asked was "what are you doing here?!" his reponse: "trying not to kill you". She changed jobs, but his job took her to her new job as well. They still don't speak.

We did the catching up thing "Where are you living?""Who do you keep in touch with?""Do you remember?""Are you seeing anyone?"

It was not long before his shopping mate met up with him again, paid groceries in hand.

"It was good to see you again!"
"Absolutely. I'll see you around, yeah?"

And although we didn't swap numbers or details, it was one of the rare occassions where I really did mean it

So, how was your day?

I:
- Drove to Batmans Bay alone
- and was running late, because I was
- Stuck behind a truck on the clyde where I was in first gear AND braking, as well as
- Being stopped twice for roadworks, and
- Stopped once for sheep crossing the road.

Did I mention, I was going there:
- For a funeral? And
- I hit a bird on my way there.

Once there I:
- Stood awkwardly in my typical fashion as others grieved openly and
- Kept hitting grievers with my mansize shoulders. Also,
- The Hun's ex was in attendance and
- Was called up for support for The Huns sister while she read a poem,
- whilst the best support I could manage was to nudge her with my man shoulders.

I also,:
- Realised half the family there didn't remember my name and
- offended The Hun's gramma by not staying overnight (and in retrospect feel I should), whilst
- feeling rude for not eating at the wake as all food was animal affected and,
- listened to The Hun's ex chat along fine with all the family, whilst I was left
- wondering what thoughts/comparisons were going through everybody elses heads.


I then:
- Drove home alone and
- Had to drive an interstate visitor around a bit then take him to dinner in the Civic foodcourt where I
- Lectured him on his relationship (he's M5 from here) and then
- Found a hair in my vegetarian Pide.

Since then I've:
- Finished my tub of icecream and
- Sat on my ass whilst I
- Should be cleaning; and will be
- Playing tourist host tmr whilst I
- Should be cleaning, so will proddly have to
- Wake up early.

*sigh*

*Sighs of relief*

Hello,

I was just wondering if you could tell me if Red eye (particularly Platinum) is vegan friendly?

Kind Regards,
Enny

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hi Enny,

Yes our drinks are Vegan friendly as the Taurine we use in our products is synthetic and not derived from animals.

Thank you
Theo

*parties*

Nickname games

Borrowed from Ampersand Duck!

YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME
(grandfather/grandmother on your father's side, your favorite sweet/lolly):

Eva Sweet William

YOUR FLY GIRL/GUY NAME
(first initial of first name followed by "izzle",
first two or three letters of your last name followed by "dizzle"):
Eizzle Penizzle (blog name)

YOUR DETECTIVE NAME
(favorite color, favorite animal):
Purple Meerkat

YOUR STAR WARS NAME
(first 3 letters of your name- last 3 letters of mother's maiden name,
first 3 letters of your pet's name repeated twice):
Ennall ElvElv

SUPERHERO NAME
("The", your favorite color, the automobile you drive):
The Purple 200sx

Hrm... I'm sure yours are funnier....?!

Could it be?!

Socceroos penalised by FIFA's payback policy

THE Aussies should have known it would end this way. It was inevitable. The seed for Australia's 1-0 World Cup loss to Italy in Kaiserslautern on a blatantly incorrect penalty kick awarded by Spanish referee Luis Medina Cantalejo in the final seconds was sown in South Korea four years ago.

Monday's devastating blow to the Socceroos was a make-up call.

Anyone with any suspicion of just how things are manipulated at soccer's highest level, including the outcome of games, needs only to look back to 2002. That's when Italy was robbed blind in a 2-1 overtime loss to South Korea in a second-round World Cup game that was refereed atrociously by Ecuador's Byron Moreno. The South American was so bad that Italians named a row of public toilets after him in Sicily.

The loss eliminated the Italians and — much to the delight of soccer's movers and shakers — sent co-host South Korea on a run that took it to the semi-finals and an eventual fourth-place finish.

Given the massive public support for the team, keeping South Korea alive as long as possible was very much in FIFA's interests. So Italy paid the price. This time around, the price has been paid back.

Things are all square with Italy. Australia will get the make-up call next time around, at South Africa in 2010, assuming it qualifies.

That's how it works.

It's about making hundreds of millions of dollars in corporate sponsorships and television contracts. Fat cats greasing fat cats. It's not really about sport or sportsmanship. Only the naive believe that.

Think this is the rambling of a conspiracy theorist? Think again. Listen tothe Italians in 2002:

This from Francesco Totti, who was ejected in the game against South Korea: "It was a scandal. The truth is that he (Moreno) had his mind set against us — this was a desired elimination. By who? I don't know — there are things greater than me, but the feeling is that they wanted us out."

Or this, from Franco Frattini, then a minister in the Italian Government: "The referee was a disgrace. Absolutely scandalous. I've never seen a game like it. It seemed as if they just sat around a table and decided to throw us out."

And finally this, from then-Italy coach Giovanni Trapattoni: "I said that it would be tough, that we had additional opposition. I am not talking about a plot but about an additional opposition."

Flash forward now to Monday afternoon in Kaiserslautern. No contact is made when Australian defender Lucas Neill slides to make a blocking tackle on Fabio Grosso. If anything, Grosso has taken a dive. But referee Cantalejo points immediately to the penalty spot. There is only time left for the kick. No time for Australia to reply.

And who steps up to take it? None other than the formerly affronted Totti, the victim of 2002's "scandal".

Totti scores, and Italy goes through to the quarter-finals. Australia's first World Cup finals in 32 years are over.

Australia's coach had this to say: "If you see the replay, there is no doubt that it was not a penalty."

Australia's coach is Guus Hiddink. He was on the other side of the "conspiracy" in 2002. Back then, he was South Korea's coach when Italy was stiffed.

Honest. You can't make up this stuff. Only FIFA has that talent.

(via email)

Jus for fluffy

(who I'm so thankful to for asking me to do this - when I asked my workmates to do this for me they jus laughed...)

Blue outlines, yellow eyes....

NOW do you feel a lil less devianty?!

Alphabet Soup

Stolen with jus a lil shame from Boysenberry:

Alphabet Soup

A - Available: No ~ sorry Mr Da Stu ;o)
A - Age: 24
A - Annoyance: Lack of compassion

B - Best Friend: Gf1 and Gf2
B - Beer: Ick - none. But if I did, I think I'd like the Blonde Beer
B - Birthday: March 27

C - Crush: Italian Soccer Team/Christiano Ronaldo/75% of all Rugby Union Players/75% of all World Cup Players (except that other plumpy Ronaldo)
C - Car: Nissan 200sx
C - Candy: Skittles!

D - Day or night: I'm cheerier in the morning, but I'd still rather sleep in
D - Dream Car: Realistically: MazdaSP23, Dreamland: Lotus Elise
D - Dog Or Cat: A miniature black pomeranian named Buddy, please

E - Easiest person to talk to: erica!
E - Eggs: No thankyou
E - Email: EnnyPen@gmail.com

F - Favorite Month: December (Christmas, Summer, Lazy at work, New Years...)
F - Favorite color: Purple (have you noticed it's proddly the most used here?!)
F - Favorite Memory: Playing 'cooking show' with my cousin and 'families' with my bro's

G - Gummy Bears or Worms: Neither thankyou
G - Giver or taker: Taker *cheeky cringe*
G - Gum: Wrigleys Eclipse

H - Hair Color: Browny-Reddy with foils needing updating and a caramel wash needing refreshing...
H - Height: 177cm
H - Happy: Yessir!

I - Ice Cream: So Good Chocolate Supreme (it really is!!)
I - Instrument: Piano/Keyboard, tho I'd love to be a drummer (if only I had rythm slash coordination!!!
I - Idol: Ooh... idols to have dinner with would be the Dalia Lama or Missy Elliot...

J - Jewellery: Six earrings and a bellybutton stud
J - Jail: Only to pick eldest bro up ;o)

K - Kids: None *yet* I'm hoping for boy, girl, boy
K - Kickboxing or Finger Painting: Kickboxing!

L - Longest Car Ride: Mebbe four hours to coast, otherwise an 11 hour coach trip was unforgettable (not in a good way!)
L - Longest relationship: app 3.5 yrs
L - Last Kiss: This morning (I won't cheat and try to nick one now)

M - Milk flavor: Chocolate soy
M - Most missed person(s): My Pa and my dog Tom
M - Movie Last Watched: Stick it (Also saw Keeping Mum and Fun with Dick and Jane within the last 24 hours!)

N - Number of Siblings: Me and the three boys
N - Number of Tattoos: One made of two main ones, made of ten seperate parts total
N - (nick)Name: Enny

O - One wish: All my dreams to come true!
O - One Phobia: Only one?! I'll sum it up as 'being afraid' (heights, speed, tincans, scary movies, etc etc)
O - One regret: Not finishing my longest relationship when he cheated

P - Pet Peeves: Attitude
P - Part of your appearance you like best: Eyes
P - Part of your Personality you like best: 'Humour'

Q - Quick or Slow: Slow

R - Reason to smile: Almost anything!
R - Reality TV Show: BB
R - Reason to cry: Misfortune, hormones, stupid movies where the stupid woman kills a dog and then it's lonely old owner

S - Song Last Heard: 'Flame Trees' Sarah Blasko (lurve it)
S - Season: Summer
S - Shoe: 9ish

T - Time you woke: 9am
T - Time Now: 10:13pm
T - Time for bed: Tonight? 1ish, I think

U - U love someone: Yes
U - Unpredictable: I'd describe it more as 'random'

V - Vegetable you hate: Most of the green ones!
V - Virgin: Not for some time now...
V - Vacation spot: I'd love to see Vegas, Japan, NY, Italy and France (and now that my parents are back from Tahiti, I wanna go there!!!)

W- Worst Habits: I can't tell you all of those!

X - X-Rated Porn: Only for research purposes ;o)

Y - Year you were born: 1982
Y - Year it is now: 2006
Y - Yellow: Look at the stars, look how they shine for you...

Z - Zoo Animal: Meerkats!
Z - Zodiac: Aries *baa*

Now, be honest with me...

How long did it take you to see the dolphins*?

*Research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they have no prior memory associated with such a scenario. Children see nine dolphins. This is a test to determine if you already have a corrupted mind. If it is for you to find the dolphins within six seconds, your mind is indeed corrupted.

This is our last goodbye

Dear Tiffany,

I'm sorry the time came for us to part.

It all happened so fast.

I've been so used to just having you there - no matter where I was or what I was doing, I knew you'd be there - almost looking over my shoulder. Two peas in a pod.

But then you started to change - aspects and dimensions of you started to change - almost out of nowhere. And I was instantly wary - I'd seen changes in others before - why? What caused you to grow further away from me? I may never be sure.

So I booked us an appointment to see what we could do about the change in us, but there was no other option. We coudln't keep living like we were - something had to be done.

This afternoon was stressful - I knew we needed to part company, but a large part of me didn't want to go through the pain. And in retrospect - the time spent thinking about it was worse than actually doing it.

And as I lay on my side, feeling the weight of a body against me, hearing the breath in my ear - I closed my eyes and tried not to think about you, about the pain. This was it. It would never be the same again.

It could feel you drifting further away from me, but not really feel anything at the same time. I was numb.

And as I walked back to my car, shaking, there were no tears - just the realisation that the right thing had been done.

And now? The pain is starting to set in - the smallest movements and thoughts bring sharply to my attention that you are no longer there.

And I'm sure in the near future I'll reach out for you and only find an empty space - and I dread to think of the pain that will follow.

I really do feel like I've lost a part of me - without you here, a part of me missing. And I don't know when i'll feel whole again.

~Enny

Pencil it in

1pm tomorrow Tiffany (as it is now lovingly being reffered to at work) is being removed.

The surgeon is a lovely lil man out at O'Conner, who has reassured me I won't feel a thing (after the ansithetic).

Ticks for the fact that there won't be much hair removal at all;
Crosses for the fact that it's being sent of for test (just in case).

I'm taking the afternoon off work, but don't stay tuned for much else other than 'ooch ooch ooch'.

QUESTION: If I have the opportunity to have a look at it, should I?!

Happy moments

I was heading off for my exam this morning jus before 7:30 and noticed that the traffic was congested.

This isn't unusual down Conder way - the selfish Gunghalites (Gunghalanites?) have taken the funding required to double lane the roads down Lanyon way, so come 7:45 on a weekday morn, a steady weave of traffic takes to the back streets to avoid getting stuck on the main road (Hint to Gov'mt: a sign installed in someones lawn reading "local traffic only" will not be enough to convince people to sit on the clutch for an extra 7 mintues each morning).

So after trolling the backstreets, I came to the portion of main road that's usually uncongested and noticed I was riding the clutch.

"What is this?!" I whinged to myself as I banged on the steering wheel and weaved around my lane "I have an exaaaaaaam today". Traffic crawled on and I still couldn't see what was happening.

And then, a gap ahead - cars resuming normal speed.

And what could it be?

A kangaroo laying nearish the side of the road.

Not injured or distressed, just taking in the sunlight and the courteous slowing down of the traffic passing him by.

Lovely, lovely people jus being careful and considerate for the lil fellah.

Fringe Benefits...

Seems not that long ago I was sitting on the couch n discussing getting a fringe while I was supposed to be studying.

I admit that I have a tendency to get caught up fads that come ago, and there is a realistic chance that my BB obsession and insistance that Claire is the prettiest is what brought me around to wanting to emulate my hairstyle on hers, but I did a lil research and found that a fringe will, in fact, be good for the shape of my face:

Not Enny, and not her fringe

Besides, I wear my hair up ALL THE TIME, so the least I could do is put some effort into the part of my hair that's NOT constantly tied back, and then maybe work my way up to putting effort into my whole hair and wearing it out more often than just special occassions.

NAYWAYS. Last time I had a haircut, the hairdresser insisted I book an appointment for the future - she promised she would 'turn' me to a hair-out person, who would get her haircut more than bi annually AND keep her foils and colouring up to date.

That haircut was supposed to be this morning.

(oooh, such suspense).

Last night, after afore mentioned fringe discussion, I decided I best at least do some highlighting in my textbook to look like studies - I was slouched over in my usual corner of the couch, textbook in lap, highlighter in hand and head in other hand, when I 'reconnected' with my head mole.

I was pretty freckly as a kid (weren't we all!) and I've always a few moles - not moles as in Austin Powers mole, but a 'speckled assortment' shall we say.

Not Enny, and not her mole.

My grandmother had skin cancer, so I've always been very aware about getting my spots checked - a couple here, a couple there and one in my hair.

(Can you see where this is headed?!)

So as I was getting reconnected with my mole-in-hair, I realised it had changed quite dramatically, and as I am prone to do, cued up instant panic and internet googling.

As soon as The Hun pulled up in the driveway I was out there in a flash (not unusual when I've been home alone all day, I'm definately a ppl person) but looking more worried than happy-go-lucky-puppy-eyed.

He schooched me into the toilet to have a look under direct light (the bulbs have been blowing and I incorrectly picked up screw bulbs instead of baton bulbs) and he took a photo for me to have a look at it.

LUCKILY FOR YOU, I seem to have temporarily misplaced my camera cord, so I can't publish it for you (pending urgent requests).

First thing I noticed was that it wasn't brown. It was pink. Cue flashbacks of nights googling where a pink mole is DEFINATELY a bad thing, and a nights worth of 'amusement' as I 'joked' about my 'head cancer' at every opportune (and potentially inappropriate) moment.

A trip to the doctor this morning ($60!) has done some to both settle and unsettle me.

It seems that my 'mole' was never a 'mole', it's always been a 'something-or-other' that is some sort of pink noduley thing. So I needn't worry about the head cancer thing.

(Side note: I had one on my leg as a child and the doc was going to remove it but had some cotton tied around it that he got my mum to hold as he was getting ready and she 'accidentally' pulled it off that way)

However, the fact that it's grown and is in the way of, say, brushing my hair and/or getting it cut, it was deemed necessary that it be removed asap.

Next Tuesday I have an appointment in a 'surgery but it's actually in a house' in O'Conner where the reffered doc will examine my nodule.

Then I will be going back at set time to have set nodule CUT OUT and have THREE STITCHES inserted.

"Oh, and you'll want to cut the hair around it, roughly half an inch around to make it easier for when the stitches go in and come out."

You'll be pleased to know that this is one moment when my insane urge to must, Must, MUST complete an act as soon as it was suggested to me DIDN'T overwhelm me - I might ask the new doc to maybe do that for me as he sees appropriate.

This incident has introduced a few other 'issues'

~ I'm meant to start another boot camp on Monday - I'm guessing I'll be out of action while my head has a bit missing - does that mean I'm not going? And will I get my $100 back?

~ Will I still be going to cabins down the coast next weekend with hole in head?

~ HOW WILL I STYLE MY HAIR WITH A CHUNK MISSING OFF TOP LEFT BACK OF IT?

~ Will I get time off work?

~ Will I get time off work to work out how I can wear my hair without ginourmous bald spot/gunky stitches?

~ When will I get my fringe?

Today is a paid study day for my exam on Monday. This means chatting, emailing, watching telly, eating apricot delights that I'm not really that fond of and doing a meme.

I found it here, but can't remember how I got there (I went from a link to a link but I've lost the missing link!).

Write 15 things about 15 separate people, but don't name them. They can be things you were too shy to tell people, things you wish you could tell them, or things you hate about them. Anything.

1 ~ At first I thought you were irreverant and funny, a real treasure chest. But now I think you're fake and a tag along, trying to hard to be something you're not and people both old and new sides are losing respect for you. It's real shame.

2 ~ I don't look down on you, I just feel you've lost your way. I don't know how I can reach out to you and get you to take my hand - but for some reason, I always think it's only temporary. I'm not just saying I'm here to help to make myself feel better, or because it's a nicety, but I really do mean that if you ever decide to take up an offer, I will be here for you.

3 ~ Please realise that behind the attitude, you're pure gold- don't let your insecurities that forged your defensive personality be the only thing that people get to see. Let the real you shine out a little more.

4 ~ I'm tired of your attitude. I'm tired of the awkwardness. I'm tired of feeling like a cow for feeling like I do, but I can't help it. It's not entertaining, it's not becoming, it's not anything.

5 ~ You are one of the most generous, giving and caring people I have ever met. I hope you do realise just how much you do give and how much you should be appreciated for that.

6 ~ I still don't quite know how to deal with you. How can one person be so many people in once, full ball from all directions at once and then nothing from anywhere.

7 ~ It makes me so sad to see how much you've changed. I just wish you could see what we all see, and then do something about it, so that you could be happier than what you already perceive yourself to be.

8 ~ There's more to life than what you've got. It's almost as if you keep yourself unhappy - why not listen to some of the advice you more than willingly dish out to others?

9 ~ Don't worry about what people say - you know what you're doing and you're the only one who can do it, so keep on doing it.

10 ~ You made the right decision in breaking up. If we hadn't lost touch in the middle there, I do wish I'd asked more questions about it all.

11 ~ Turning your back on your 'old' life doesn't mean it's not still there. And totally absorbing yourself in your 'new' life isn't a life at all. And if you'd just bring yourself down a notch, you'd see that there are plenty of other people who'd be willing to chip in to help you out and keep you happy, even if you're too proud to see it.

12 ~You've come a long way now. It's time to stop hanging onto the pain and time to open yourself up to new things and take the chance - a life without love isn't a life. And I know that you know that.

13 ~ I went out on a limb and spoke to you from the bottom of my heart, and you dismissed me. I told you twice more and you pretended to not hear it. Try and avoid it as much as you like, but here's the heads-up - I WILL get to the bottom of this.

14 ~ I never thought you could ever be so selfish, so hurtful, so ignorant and so self-obsessed. You deserve everything that is going to come to you.

15 ~ If you're not happy, then there's no reason to be there. NO reason.

*Wow. Don't I sound like a self righteous biatch.... *

Please allow me introduce myself...

My name is Enny.

Enny? What type of a name is that?

It's a nickname.

So why do you sometimes get called EnnyPen or EnnyPenny?

Those are also nicknames of mine, and I wasn't 100% which to use when I started - so I think I've switched back and forth a bit...

Started what?

This blog.

What's it called?

Welcome to the Enny-Pen.

Why'd you choose that?

Well, Enny Pen is also one of my nicknames, but you could also look at it as a pen where I (Enny) am kept - so you're coming into MY space.

MySpace?

No. My space.

Ah, so what's with with the description up there in the top left?

It's a combination of two songs that I like and that I feel have some relevancy to me - Missy Elliots "Lose Control" and Datarocks "Computer Club". I do like to think that my face can be cute, I'm not stick thin, my legs are a bit muscley from all my martial arts and I do spurts of exercise so I like to think I can hold my own. I shake my ass when I dance and if you were to see me you'd do a double take (like I would anytime I saw someone from the internet!). AND I'm not THAT type of girl. Booger.

Okay - and what's with the pic?

That's Bjork, from her "Hunter" filmclip - she's my fav artist...and I have a tendency to pretend I'm turning into a bear when I'm doing the groceries and listening to it.

I see - and what's that blurb thing that's under her pic?

It highlights the main things about me - I am 24, I've been a public servant for over 3 years, I've been doing martial arts for 17 years, I'm a (very) new vegan, I'm a bit of a hoon, I like to say "matey" occassionally, I'm a noob at a lot of things and I can be a bit of a b!tch. I do spend my time plodding around our nations capital, I'm quite sarcastic (not here as you wouldn't be able to read it as sarcasm!) I love cruisers and breezers and I do punch boys at my martial arts school (there's not too many men there!).

Why'd you start up a blog?

When I was at home and share housing, I remember thinking to myself that I had some hilarious stories - at the same time, I became a hardcore lurker and figured I could put all those experiences into writing to share with others. That said, as soon as I started, I realised that really, in the grand scheme of it all, my stories and experiences AREN'T really all that - but I like it and I'm'a keep on doing it.

So now what?

Nothing much - jus thought I'd share!

*hooray*

Def / Div / Def

When I was younger, I thought that defacto meant divorcee - that it was two grownups who were married but weren't together anymore, and now still together in the same house...

I've only just noticed how similar (the word) defacto is to (the word) defective...

Or from a potentially terribly insightful perspective, perhaps it is more than jus the words that are similar...

Viewing Study-us Avoid-us in her natural habitat...

I'm sure I'm not the only economics student who's spent more time calculating the percentage required on the final exam to just pass the course...

What are the chances that jus writing 'supply, demand and equilibreum makes Enny something something (go crazy) over and over would be enough to get the 42% I need on the final exam to NEVAH HAVE TO THINK ABOUT ECONOMICS AGAIN?! Coz I'm trying to plot it out on a PPF and I'm not sure how well that's going...

I missed the opening...

... but I think this will come in handy for the nex month or so...

ConGRADulations Dadsy!

Fri morn I was up at sparrows fart (5.10am) and off to the Gowrie house to collect middle bro and youngest bro for the long haul to Sydney to celebrate Dadsy's graduation.

We arrived here at about 10.10 (Yes, we got lost, and yes we may have inadvertantly broken traffic law a few times) and headed off to the uni almost straight away to look totally outta place in our grad-ceremony-watching outfits amongst the cas students for 3.5 hours. The cab drive to the uni was 'eventful' in that 5 grownups + 1 cabbie meant Mumsy and I were in the front, with me squooshed in the middle of the front seat. Have you ever been hit right in the eye by a cabbies hands-free earphone flinging around and then not got an apology? It's nothing to write home about (but fine to blog about, it seems).

The ceremony itself wasn't so bad (I've only ever been to The Hun's and that was loooooooooong and boooooooooooring) - highlights included a total WTF moment as Mumsy was overheard introducing herself to one of Dadsy's classmates with "I was going to say nice to meet you c*nty, but I won't" (it was a preplanned injoke apparantly) and Dadsy posing for photos postgrad Darth Maul style with his grad hood over his head, hiding behind his cape and bearing his certificate like a light sabre...

We headed into Isabella's for dinner (highly recommended if you're in the area, but be warned that there is only one tooty for everyone and it's out the back down an alley!) where Dadsy managed to break a chair jus by sitting on it (some lawyer types in his their grad group ensured they go photographic evidence of the way the welding broke) and then up the road to a pub called Alison's (I think?!) before cabbing it over to cushion.

THAT's where the night started to get more interesting.

It was good in that all four kids (plus Eldest bro's gf) were drinking and comfy and starting the D&M thang that quite often occurs...

- Eldest bro started with 'You know how I was being an ass about your veganism the other day?' and then launched into some bizarre critique-slash-support-slash-talk-over-the-top thang... his point, as far as I could tell, was that he conceded that not consuming anmal products has an effect, but then didn't concede that it did as the only way to make a difference is to change everybody's perception of meat and animals so that they aren't used for meat and the whole proceess is changed... It kind of went around and around in circles with him agreeing and disagreeing straight away and repeating his point over and over and louder and louder... I've put it down to alchohol plus overload on management study (he had his first two exams within a 2 day period and drove up to Sydney straight after his exam) plus some of that defensive guilt that I've read about that causes ppl who feel threatened/offended/guilty about what they're eating to launch into active attack mode...?!

- He then moved onto a discourse on marriage. It seems he believes that marriage is only for creating children and that happiness only comes from having kids to carry on your name or whatever and that the wife thing is only secondary - that's the meaning of life. This was in contrast to my belief that happiness should be within yourself, then added to with a partner and then added to with kids - you can have a life without kids and still be happy.

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

- Youngest bro outlined that he has a *confidential* life plan to get himself on track that, as much as eldest bro's gf asked, he would not share. It's good to see that he's finally at the point that all us kids in the family have got to where you decide to get off ur ass and jus do something about it.

- Plus other D&M talk on everyone's jobs, love, plans etc.

Nayways, I started getting a lil tired at about 1am and noticed eldest bro's gf was the same, so we headed off with eldest bro and youngest bro in tow (middle bro hung back for more drinx), where eldest bro's gf lemme know that she was't having fun - she didn't understand his vegan argument except that it seemed to include repeating the same thing over and over but louder and louder each time without listening to other viewpoints. She was also (understandably!) unimpressed with his marrige'n'kids speech (it was the first time she'd heard any of that and the whole 'when I know someone is suitable then I'd do it straight away' would make ANY ladee mad) and his argument on divorce was not on - her parents divorced years ago so he doens't really know what he's talking about.

I was also 'gifted' enough to be sharing a room with youngest bro and middle bro, so was 'gifted' enough to be greeted by middle bro's 'gifted' entrance at 2am - turning on all the lights and tv, opening the door the courtyard, coming in and out of the room and calls of 'WHO WANTS TO PARTAY BIATCHES'. He then spent the night on his creaky Creaky CREAKY bed rolling himself up in some sort of sheet coccoon. Unimpressed.

~Overview~
Cross: It rained the whole time;
Tick: It still looked like a really lovely beach.

Cross: Arguing with the brothers
Tick: Getting to know about what they think/feel/plan

Cross: Sharing room with two boys
Tick: None. Never again. P.E.R.I.O.D.

Cross: The Hun wasn't there.
Tick: Got to hear what the fam thinks about him (hint: v good)

Cross: The long drive there and back with two boys
Tick: Not really as bad as it coulda been

Cross: Middle bro's attitude the majority of the time
Tick: Glimpses of the real him while he was half asleep and mumbling, while he was drinking, an while youngest bro was at the servo and he earnestly asked what he should do about a job. IF ONLY he dropped the act and were like that ALL the time.

And tonight:
Tick: Hommous and turkish bread.
Cross: Toot!

Tick: Naps on the couch
Cross: Pillow face!

Tick: Lounging around the house
Cross: Meant to be studying

Tick: "Bring it on"
Tick: Eliza Dushku
Tick: The actor that plays the gay guy
Cross: Nil!

Kids are the best type of people

My boss brought her daughter into work for the last couple of hours today.

Now, I'm not much a babies person (it's part of the package when they're born, right? it jus comes, yeah?) but kindy ages kids, I can deal with.

They're the perfect age to tell stories to, easy to entertain and they know just not enough for them to be a constant source of amusement a la "pssst - write this and go stick it on middle techo's desk" and spelling out swear words that she can't understand.

I've met the lil girl a few times before (once at work, once at a WW meeting, once at my bosses t'wo party) but she just thought I was the bees knees. My boss was off to get a coffee, so I took the lil girl into the next bay so she could show off her certificate and my boss followed afterall. When I tired of watchin women in their forties talk to her, I went back to my desk and the lil girl followed me.

HOW. COOL. IS. THAT.

I was THE coolest person around - proddly first time evah!

It was like at the afternoon tea I was at the afternoon tea (yeah yeah - the one that picqued me off into a whinge) and the 7yo boy there. He does martial arts so I know him fairly well (he believes my tat translates to "Enny" "Is" "A" "MonkeyButt" - yeah - it wasn't even amusing the first time!) but when I rocked up with my Pokemon cards, I was THE IT.

He was in total awe. He was all "Dad - look at this one!" and "Look at all these!" and "That's the best one!" and telling me to bring them next time so he can look again when he has his there with him. Coz he lives in two houses as his parents are divorced.

Nice way to end on a sad note...

BTW - my pokemon cards TOTALLY rocked his and NO I WON'T donate them to him in some sorta selfless act. I spent to much money on those thangs to give em up to a 7yo who'll outgrow them in a year or two.

SHE MINGE!

Check out the word verification I got asked for while setting up a Gmail account for Mumsy:



*titters*

It's tricky - tricky tricky tricky tricky hugh!

Man alive - do you guys have any idea how tricksy my grocery shop was today?!

The recipe book is yet to be tested - we'll be dining on stuffed pesto potatoes with fennel compote one night this week, and linguine with pesto-kissed tomato sauce another (tonight is gnocchi and salad) - but I am looking forward to giving it spin (mental note - locate pounds/ounces/degrees F converter for USA to AUS conversions!!!)

BUT I was SO underprepared for those 'may contain traces of' messages!

After an hour and a half and $130ish dollars at Conder woolies I was ready to jus lay down on the floor and wah-wah-wah - almost everything out there 'may contain traces of eggs' or 'may contain traces of dairy'! So, I got sucked into the guilts and didn't purchase any of these items - and started to get sucked down low into how limited I really could be now.

Some help was at hand via the net and some forums - it appears that the message is there for people with severe allergies, 'just in case'.

It seems there is a legislation in place for products that are prepared in a factory that also prepares products that may contain 'those' ingredients. The utensils and all equipment are cleaned and washed etc in between making the different products, but minute trace elements may be in the air or around and accidentally get put in there too.

But it's a pretty big deal because you can see the initial reaction that I took - 'it might be in there so I better not, just in case...'

But I have to learn to look at the other side - it's more than likely that it isn't.

Just because there is a minute possibility that at a micro level there is a trace of something that I don't want, is not a reason to not eat it - otherwise what is there left to eat?

There is a chance in anything that I don't grow myself, that somewhere along the line there is a minute chance that it has picked something up.

If I was that pedantic I'd never be able to eat anything that I didn't make myself...

And I only live in a renty townhouse - I can't keep chickens to get my my own eggs, I can't keep a cow for milk, I can't, I can't, I can't...

I shouldn't look at this as a challenge, just to see how far I can take it - finding out what other people are doing and 'one up' them.

If the ingredient list doesn't show any meat or egg or dairy, then they're suitable for me - just because they may have other products that have these things in them, isn't a reason to avoid them all together - I should support the product...

But it still feels at some level that I'm just trying to talk myself over it for convenience and out of laziness...?

I know I've gotta make myself realise it's ok, but how do you make yourself believe something that still kinda feels like you shouldn't believe it?

Dot Points, Pot Doints

• Our 'Biggest Loser' update: 1kg = 1.32% weekly loss = 2.10% total loss

• 360-something photo's printed for $70 something dollars? *hearts*

• Photo album that holds all those photos for $10?! You get what you pay for (it doesn't close properly with afore-mentioned photo's in) *sigh*

• BUT - 400 (vegan) recipe's for $40 dollars?! I need never enter a bookshop again!
  

• Lindt Dark Chocolate with Orange and Almond will become my husband (pretty much everything free) (including dieting guilt!) and only $2 from Coles
  

• Tonight I'll be drinking half a bucket of Margerita with two friends who I am about to add to my 'P!mps and B!tches' list

• How are people arriving here via search?
  

celebity carwash - Turkish Google number two takes you to March Archives (from doing TJ's celebrity face matcher (and spelling celebrity wrong) and sitting in the carwash (two seperate occassions!))

italia soccer player - Spanish Google number two for my second pervy look at half-nekky men..

o rly, ya rly no wai - Google lucky number 13

my brother in the balls - Google number ten - I was unsure why this one kept coming up, and I've only just found out why! See (sorry, bro's!);

audrey tautou's hair - My Da Vinci review here;

sweaty hunks - Yahoo number two to here for lovely rugby men;

information on george gregan and his work with his sons epilepsy - Google number four on why union is better than AFL (I hope they could find some proper info rather than my pervy ramblings!!)

tuggeranong- nappy valley - Google number nine

what rhymes with teo - Teo, was this you!? Combination of a post about the bet and the fact that he's in my blogroll (Google)

kirk hammett hair plug - (Swedish?!) Google number four from one of my first posts (reveiwing the Metalicca doco)

marshmallow tower pictures - Google number ten (from camp)

what does myeh mean - Yahoo number eight

gay celebity pics.com - Google number three from a combination of TJ's face thing (again) and my pr0n exploration

sunburnt scalp - Archives from martial arts camp (Google)

womens pretty thick legs - Yahoo number 18

italia soccer team - Spanish Google number six

dogdoors - Google number 29 to my archives (If I were a millionaire I'd buy two dogs and dogdoors)

shitsu dog haircuts -Google number nine

gowrie act what does it mean - Woo hoo! Google number one for the fact I mentioned I'd lived in Gowrie, ACT (ie, it's not an act, it's a place)

notes on org.behaviour - Google number nine (I'll be doing it nex semester)

why does lighting a match get rid of poop stink - Google number five (I think it's got something to do with burning up the smelly gas?!)

what are all the odd words listed at the end of spam e-mals - Google number four to some archives where the words "words" and "all" appear in one month;

rub-a-dub-dub 3 men in a tub - Google number nine (half-nekky men, again...

One of these things is just like the others

PopQuiz!

What do these COOL celebrities (amongst others) have in common?

Alicia Silverstone
Alyssa Milano
Andre 3000
Avril Lavigne
Chris Martin
Damon Albarn
Daniel Johns
David Duchovny
Erykah Badu
Fiona Apple
Ian McKellen
India.Arie
Joanna Lumley
Joaquin Phoenix
John Cleese
Joss Stone
Joy Bryant
Moby
Morrissey
Natalie Imbruglia
Natalie Portman
Noah Wyle
P!nk
Sadie Frost
Stella McCartney
Thom Yorke
Tobey Maguire
"Weird Al" Yankovic

?????

Give up? Here's a hint...

That's right!

Veggo!

Well - grab a texta, and add Enny to the list.

Since Sunday 21/05/06, I've been proudly meat free (lacto-ovo vegetarian).

It's not been too hard - it's pretty much coincided with the start of the latest bet so I've been paying more attention to what's been "going in".

We're not typically big meat eaters in the Conder house (too lazy to cook it etc) except for lunches - The Hun gets his two sammiches made for him every morning (who's a good girl? Enny is!!!) and it's typically meat wit tomato, lettuce n some mayo type thang. I'd recently been taking salads in my Go-Flex anyways, plus the cold weather is good for those Velish soups (not spruiking them!) or egg sandwhices if I'm out and about.

ANYWAYS, dinners have been managed - frozen meals, thai takeaway, Ali Baba kebabs, raosted vegetables, pasta, bread n dip, tofu stifry etc; and brekky has been cereal and milk (at my desk before anyone else gets in - if I eat it at home I'm too late to get a carpark).

Just being aware of it all was making me feel a whole lot better about me - AND I haven't intentionally killed any bugs for years and years and years - I scoop them into a glass and put a piece of paper underneath and take them to the outsides. I don't swat or spray spiders or flies, I don't squoosh ants, I don't usually see mosquitoes until they've flown away etc - SO why would I then feel all good about the not killing of the living things and then ho into a steak? Or prawns? Or bacon?

It's jus hypocritical - so I decided to do something about it.

And I've been pretty happy with how it was going. Suprisingly, a lot of people are very combative about it - "How do you think you can make a difference?" "Vegetables are living, so you shouldn't be eating them" "Well just chuck out your shoes and your handbags and your wool clothing then - you won't get any of that!" "My niece did it and got really sick and went a bit mad" "You'd be the worst vegetarian in the world" etc. Only one person so far (Dadsy) has said "Don't worry about what they say - do what you think is right".

I'd still been eating the dairy - after all, laying eggs and giving milk can't hurt the cows n chickens right?

Apparantly -wrong!

I read thru this brochure, and was confronted with more of a moral dillemma -once you know that sort of stuff and it has an impact on you, how can you ignore it?

That then starts to cut out cheese, milk, CHOCOLATE, butter, icecream, anything with lard/animal fat etc... and the thing is - I'm not really that keen on veggies. I'm getting better, but I'm not really into peas, corn, green veggies and ESPECIALLY NOT BEANS OF ANY KIND. I also don't each that much fruit - I have the feeling I'll tend to turn to carbs.

So, today I've also been egg and milk free - I popped out and picked myself up some womens multivitamins and some spirulina tablets to start from tomorrow. If I could find some local milk and eggs, then I wouldn't have an issue with that - but that's gonna require some time to locate.

Hopefully, this will make me feel even better - it seems that people can go either way - looking totally vital, fresh and fool of energy from a vegan diet, or looking withdrawn, anaemic and like a sack of crap... here's hoping the former - I've always wanted that lean wiery look (like a whippet!).

So, if anyone out there has any advice, tips, hints, stories or anything they'd like to say, I'd love to hear it!

EnnyPen 101 - Week 15

Shh... I'm still in bed ;o)

Week 15 is THE POOREST excuse for a uni week - Eco sorted itself out and cancelled the tute and lecture, but STOOPID marketing only cancelled the tute.

My plan is to get outta bed, go meet The Hun in the city to sign our next round of lease, have some lunch, pout my way thru a lecture, hopefully pick up 480 photos I got printed out at Harvey Norman, come home, post, MAYBE do the dishes and then head off to kickboxing.

I know, this isn't really too uni related, but you would not believe how much OVER uni I am atm, and how BEHIND I am at the same time... *sigh*