Enny celebrates the big 'twenty-five-oh' with a slap in the face and unforgettable story

That's right! 250 posts! Go me!

And I had planned to share just an unforgettable story, but I will intervene with my slap in the face before finishing with the story, so that I can get it out of my system and never need speak of the events of the past week again (not to mention ever have to think about it again)(But y'all jus know it'll reappear in my planned 'hypotheticals' series) (skip after the slap if you have no interest in such petties) (and skip this entire post if toilet humour is not your thang)...

***** START SLAP *****

SO.

{Deleted by the Author - sorry dudes!}

This forum is good - somewhere to get thoughts out where they can't hurt. But I might need to change the address - I think there's value in total anonymity.

I'm pretty sure you can guage how I felt when I read that. And how I feel now. And in my heart of hearts I'm pretty sure she didn't mean it the way that if feels (if there's a lesson to be learnt here then I'm choosing to ignore it at this stage). But that will stay with me for a very long time. And I guess that due to my lack of total anonymity I can't really say any more on it... So if you're reading? Be sure to send me a postcard a tell me about how good it feels. FFS.

***** END SLAP *****

And without further ado - would you like to here a story to stay with YOU for life?

Someone* once told me something that I don't think I will ever forget - Rarely a day or two goes past that I don't think of it in one way or another - yet I've never told anyone else...

But I think it's important to mark 'special occassions' with things like this:

"Enny, do you want to hear something you'll never forget?"

"Sure!"

"When I sit down on the toilet for number twos, I have to spread my butt cheeks apart."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"

"Yeah! Now I can't go do it without making sure I'm spread out properly!"

"WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?!!"

"Because as soon as I was told, I could never forget it! You'll see! "

"...Thanks..."

Happy 250 to me
Hapy 250 to me
Happy 250 dear Enny
Happy 250 to meeee!

* Bonus points if you can guess who told me!