All is well / come on over

Baby arrived, safe and sound - so of course I've started a new blog.

Send me an email if you'd like to come along (warning: baby-centric) - EnnyPen at gmail dot com!

Sunday night

Just popping in to say 'hullo' because it's Sunday night and I will go to bed soon, but ran out of things to read in my reader so thought I'd add in my own.

So far, everything is going well in our continually expanding family!

We went in for a 20 week scan last week and found out our little baby is a little girl - which is just crazy to me but also completely awesome and also a little scary. You see - I'm not a girly-girl (duh) and I never had a younger sister (tho I pretty much treated youngest bro like my own little sister) so I've always thought I'd have two boys. I've always found boys clothes to be cuter (I guess because they look more like adult clothes?) and I think my insecurities make me freak that I'll be a total stranger to a girl but could be a good parent to a boy... or that she'll be a total b!tch or one of those skanky kids you see hanging around an interchange or whoring all over a bunch of gross teen boys. But then, I was about 70% sure it would be a girl, and we only had a girls name picked, and I bet she's adorbs and I totally turned out fine so I must get some of that hereditary parenting skill handed down. Right? Plus it's scary in that The Hun has only ever wanted two kids and the thought of having two girls and no boys really freaks me out.

So yeah, we're working on all that.

I've been quite lucky in that hormones has only brought on two freakouts - one at 10 weeks when I had to start giving myself blood thinning needles (thanks hereditary clotting disorder that was only discovered when I bashed my leg in half!) and had people coming for dinner and a messy house and no food and was shaky from not eating enough because I wasn't hungry and I realised I hadn't given in to a sulk and had a good cry and that I was about overdue for one about 15 minutes before said dinner guests arrived.... the other at 20 weeks when I was driving home from another freakin' hectic day at work and I was listening to Bon Iver (if you haven't heard the album stop reading this drivel and get. It. NOW) and the scan was the next day and I hadn't felt any movement yet and am I even ready to be a mum or did I ever really want kids and oh-my-gawd I'm home already and I haven't finished crying, I better pull up out the front to finish this off good and proper where the dogs can't see me.

Dogs? That's right! We're very lucky to have rescued a long haired chihuahua (who is THE most adorable baby boy hands done) in August last year, and a miniature pinscher x spaniel that we rescued last month to keep him company once babby-pen arrives later this year. She is also adorable and nuggety - we wanted to get a boy looking dog because our baby-chihuahua is probably the girliest little thing you have ever seen - he rocks in at less than 2.5kg fully grown and suffers from IBS.... long hair + weekly stomach upsets = developing quease-battle skills of steel.

Man, this is so scrambled.

How funny that something that I used to do so often is now so totally blurgh to me!

So yeah, hormones = good. I've been told that the only real hormonal difference that was noticeable was that I was tireder and a bit apathetic. Heh. Keep in mind I lost like 3kg in those first 12 weeks because I just wasn't hungry and couldn't get rid of this crazy 'I feel like I've eaten too many lollies' taste and brushing my teeth was a twice-daily battle against the dry-retch and I just couldn't work out what I wanted to eat. Well. That's TOTALLY under control now, though unfortunately the thing I want to eat now is pretty much whatever I can get my paws on , the more chip-like or pure-carb-esque, the better. But still, only 2.5 kg heaver than my pre-preg weight, so I guess that counts for something?

We've only bought a baby monitor and two outfits. No cot, no pram, and no practical baby stuff. No rearranging of furniture done yet, 90% set on a name, and maybe starting to deal with the dawning realisation that I'll only be at work for like another four months and then won't be back until like August 2012. Do you know how far away that is?! Will I still be relevant then?! Will I be keen to go back to work or will I personality-transplant in to one of those mommy's that only lives though their children and bugs the heck out of me?

The Hun and I are also doing very well. We've just passed the seven-years-together mark and are probably in the best place we've ever been. I don't want to go through my archives, I KNOW I was painful (sorry dudes). But maybe it's the hormones that's making me generally happier? Maybe I'm getting wiser? Maybe the fact that I've got everything I could possibly want (except for maybe an iPad)? Not sure. But things are good, things are solid, things are happy and funny and easy and natural.

Anyways, best go get ready for bed.

I hope everyone is doing well - I'm still stalking y'all, so make sure you're giving me things to read!

One year and three days after the last post...

I was going to keep with tradition and put a yellow smiley face on, but I think it's a little cuter this way... Happy 2011!

(Btw - if we're on fb, it's not yet fb public!)

Happy New Year!

Still alive, still kicking around the traps.

2009 was a pretty interesting year for me...

- I got to do some exciting stuff at work that I loved, then I was moved to another interesting (but different) space.

- My fractured leg turned in to a broken leg, I pulled muscles in my thigh and chest (subsequently making me think I was having a panic attack). wore a full length cast for a month and then a half length cast for a month and then had a purple swollen leg for a month before my doctor realised something was up. In October I was diagnosed with Deep Vein Thrombosis - an 'old' blood clot running from my knee to my groin, with two 'new' clots growing on that and a new clot growing behind my knee. Where did the old one come from? How old was it? They don't know. But they took me off the pill (51 days wtf) and ran a stack of blood tests, a couple of xrays, a bone density test and an ultrasound (I bet they're cuter when it's a baby on the screen). I've got another xray and ultrasound on Monday because my leg is still discoloured, and perhaps I'll get to stop taking blood thinners soon (side note: I lost weight while in plaster as I was a little down in the dumps, but have put a few kg back on - leafy greens interact with blood thinners, leaving not a lot of options for a vegan who isn't allowed to exercise for fear of a blood clot breaking off and heading north...!).

- I got married and it was hands down the best day of my life! So great to have so many of the people we love there to celebrate with us, I wouldn't have changed a thing.

- I honeymooned and snorkelled and drank and aaaaaaaaaaaate.

- We still have the birds and they're still a squawky and pooey delight.

- Eldest bro got engaged, middle bro met his delightful young lady, youngest bro continued his relationship with his lovely girlfriend (and keeps me hoping for wedding bells!), dadsy took some leave and decided that he could retire one day and enjoy it, and mumsy was diagnosed with a barrage of tumours/cysts/blood issues that are all seemingly 'okay' at this point in time and we're doing quite well for pretending it's not anything serious.

So. What does 2010 hold?

- I'm giving up movie popcorn for a year. This is a Very Big Deal.

- I'm going to try to get swimming lessons (this is mos likely to fall down the list a little).

- I'm going to start writing a book. And I know that sounds wanky and a little bit self congratulatory, but I never said anything about it progressing further than the start or even out of my computer!

I just wanted to drop by to let you know that I am still here, I am still reading all your updates and I am still wishing you all the best!

Progress +2, Setback +1

Hear me out:

Thu 2nd July:

• Trim and colour - hair is looking awesome.
• Fly to Queensland.
• QANTAS serves non vegan margarine with vegan meal, joke about composing narky weather.
• Upgrade rental car to awesome Corolla for free - nice one.
• Warm weather, crazy traffic, awesome apartments.
• Sleep at 1am.

Fri 3rd July:

• Up before 6am for all day martial arts camp commencing at 7am.
• 7:20am - step off the floor for water (damn nervous upset stomach, not enough sleep and not enough food in the past 24 hours).
• Graciously accept compliments on having lost some weight (booyah!).
• Feeling pretty confident on scoring and judging skills for tournament the next day.
• Social mixer goes well - eat half weight in rice paper rolls, have first McDonals in almost two months, loving new top and heels.

Sat 4th July;

• Nervous stomach continues.
• Yell at students who forgot to bring my weapon for the weapons round.
• Judge with pink and purple striped socks on as it is FREEZING in the hall.
• Place 3rd in both form rounds (both by 0.1), place 2nd in weapons between two of my students (by 0.1) - can't really begrudge them.
• Get primed for sparring, continue to battle nervous stomach, freak at having not sparred in at least 12 months, but doing my best breathing to psyche myself up.
• Kick to the midsection - one point to me.
• Punch to the head (no contact) - one point to me.
• Kick pull back as she was kicking at the same time.
• Hold kick in chamber position.
• Kick - in to her knee.
• Praise the lawd for awesome hardcore shinguards.
• Fall down like a moaning sack of sh*t as soon my leg touches the ground, images flash through head of shattered leg and foot facing the wrong way...
• Helped to back of the hall ('Do I have to move?'), icepack delivered, keep listening to everyone saying it's just a bruise, they always knew I had dainty turn of foot etc.
• Get a little teary upon realising that I would have placed 1st or 2nd had I been able to continue.
• Ask student to get me some crutches.
• Back to hotel, all of students spend night with me on floor of lounge rather than attend social mixer.
• Call my mum to ask if I should go to Doctor, want to take her advice as mums are always right.
• Don't get taken to Doctor as students continue to tell me it's just a bruise as I'd 'be crying if it were broken' and as soon as they saw me 'breathing really heavy, they knew it was worse than it looked'.

Sun 5th July

• After taking 45 minutes to go to the bathroom and back to bed, get up for day and nestle on couch.
• Visit doctor who charges $60 to tell me they think it's bruising and to come back for an xray tomorrow.
• Run into Adam and his little red rockstar in the doctors office - COMPLETELY RANDOM!!!
• Go to Sizzler with upbeat students, cringe as waitress walks in to foot.
• Go to martial arts event - mopey, headachey, not hungry, continuing to put up with upset stomach and hating having to move.

Mon 6th July

• Xray - Doctor says 'nothing obvious, but see a Doctor next door'.
• Assisting student tells me he's relieved it's not broken as that's bad, I tell him I'm angry it's not because the pain is unbearable for it to be just a bruise.
• See Doctor 'it's a fracture, 2/3 way through, see?'.
• Assisting student starts to look worried as he hears what's happened.
• Taken to nurses room out the back, tears ensue after they put a prop under my shin right where the fracture is to plaster it, THEN knock the prop out so my shin bangs on to the bed.
• Rattled, go back to hotel. Continue to 'manage' upset stomach, watch videos with two students (16 and 20) who stayed back with me so we could have a relaxing warm day of fun holiday. FAIL.

Tue 7th July

• Take 45 minutes to get out of bed to keep carrying on with upset stomach
• Call QANTAS to ask about getting space to put my leg up, told I can pay $600 to get an upgraded ticket. 'Um, that's completely ridiculous, forget it' 'The flight isn't fully booked, so maybe you can put it up on an empty seat' 'Right. Thanks'.
• Call AVIS to work out what we can do about returning hire car to Brisbane (over an hour drive away). 'You can't add another driver over the phone, you need to do it in person' 'How will that happen, I'm the only driver and physically can't drive' 'Well, someone else can drive but you'll be liable for the full price of the car' 'Can we drive to the AVIS in our town and do that?' 'Sure, as long as the driver is over 21' 'No, she's 20' 'No, she can't drive at all then' 'How will I get the car returned?!' 'You can pay extra to keep it longer' 'That won't help!!' 'You'll need to call some friends then'. RIGHT.
• Call my uncle who lives nearby for assistance - his wife has the car all day and is out. No help.
• Finally get in touch with one of the Qld martial arts students who lets me know about a minibus that can take us to the airport, she returns the car to the local AVIS.
• Trip in minibus is terrible, holding leg up in air for over an hour.
• Airport wait is a bit tedious, get wheelchaired into a chair and into one of my students. Have bag pulled out from underneath sore leg. Upset stomach continues, made worse by the fact one of the students needs to wheel me there and wait outside. Ugh.
• No spare seat on flight for my leg - swells up, throbs, then gets pins and needles. Ask the hostess for a spare seat PLEASE after an hour, she directs one of my students to first class, lady comes out of bathroom and yells at my student sitting in her seat, student gets moved across aisle from me courtesy of lovely lady in next class up with an empty seat between her and another gentlement..

So you can guess how the last few days has gone.

I'm headachey and sedentry, stressed about putting on the weight I lost, clumsy and sick of crutches and just all round useless. I hate being a burden on others, but I also hate falling backwards up my parents deck when I try to be independent and helpful.

I've got next week of work, but not really sure how I am going to manage getting around the office - reckon a wheelchair is out of the question? Though they are setting up a network connection so I can work from home when required...

Should be getting full length fibreglass cast tomorrow, it will be on for 6 - 8 weeks. Wedding is roughly 15 weeks away, so plenty of time.

Reckon they'll let me get my cast in purple?

Hope all is well!

Progress +1

Ladies! Fellas! Hullo! How's things?

Things are going well with me. Work is good. Martial arts is going quite okay, with a tournament looming in Queensland (eep!). Home is really good. Birdie boys are just lovely. The Hun says hi.

I've been watching my fair share of tv (yay MasterChef - who'd have picked that?!), twittering and facebooking, playing with the birds every day, and continuing to obsessively stalk your blogs. And of course, wedding planning.

Where are we at?

• Dress is bought - lovely.
• Veil is ordered - cathedral!!
• Shoes are bough and propping up the tv antenna - I love them.
• Bridesmaids dresses have been ordered - very pretty.
• Photographer booked - friend at mates rates.
• Celebrant booked in - extended family member, good good good.
• Table deco's sorted - three cheers for IKEA!
• Hairclip received - you guys HAVE to check out Lulusplendor, she is just fantastic.
• Hair appointments booked - v exciting.
• Meeting with florist on Friday - can't wait.
• Paper flower folding is progressing - oh man.

That's where I'm at! Just wanted to check in and see if this thing was still on, and share the love a little.

TTFN!

Progress

So, it's been over a month now.

I just wanted to say that I haven't actually missed it. Yet?

But I am doing a lot of Twittering. If you're interested, send me an email and we'll see what we can work out (with the RL name et al). If not? I might come back yet.

And yeah - I found my wedding dress.

SQUEE!!

Lost that blogging feeling...

... I think I'm due for a break.

There's a couple of reasons.

Firstly, work is busy. I started in a new team a few months ago and I am doing more of the stuff I'm really interested in. I'm starting work earlier, sometimes finishing later, and I have no time in the middle of the day like I used to.

Secondly, I'm enjoying my leisure time. I've started taping a bunch of shows on the media PC and I like to watch then between work and martial arts, or work and the gym, while I get the birdie boys out of the cage for a stretch. This gives me only enough freedom for a quick FB chat, then the computer is off and I'm out of the house again.

Thirdly, a lot of the time on the computer is spent reading a lot of different blogs, but a lot of wedding blogs. I am researching and saving and thinking a whole bunch of wedding stuff, and I don't have much room left in my brain for thinking up stuff for my own.

Fourthly, the stuff that I do write is mostly read by a small bunch of people, most of who I have on FB and keep in touch with anyway. I've noticed it more lately, but I feel like I'm talking to an empty room. The more I sense that, the less I feel like participating, then the more you sense that, and the less you feel like participating - it's a vicious circle.

Plus I could just be getting too old for this. I remember reading a lot of blogs when I first started reading them, a lot of them were in their late 20s at the time, and very few of them are still around here. Perhaps it's just my time.

To be continued...?

Milestones Forever

Did you see So You Think You Can Dance on Sunday?

Don't let looks deceive you - check out this girl, 'Forever', she is just AMAZING:

I had goosebumps and was a little teary watching it (though, I got teary watching Madagascar 2 on Saturday, so perhaps take the tears with a grain of salt).

There was another girl on there, a lady who was self taught and funded in hiphop because they ddin't have the money for lessons when she was younger. She was 27.

I was looking at her face, and looking at how much older than everyone else she looked. I knew when I look at the younger contestants, like 17 - 21, that I look older than that. But when I look at the 27 year old, I think I look younger than that.

You guys - I turn 27 this year.

So yesterday, the second of February, I bought eye cream for the first time.

Let's see if I can't look as young as I feel for a while more, huh?

Tanty

I apologise for my tanty the other night.

If you did the maths with the weeks of the month you'd probably get a fair idea why, but I was also cranky because I had free tickets to a show and my guest suggested I bring The Hun (who had been nagging to come) instead and I agreed and thanked them and then when I told him he realised he had something else on and I emailed my family and only dadsy replied replied suggesting youngest bro, and then I tried three other friends and non could make it and then I double checked with my family and finally middle bro agreed but made it sound like it was a massive hassle and I felt grumpy and took it out on the internets.

The show was okay, but then today it's come to light we probably won't be doing anything for our five year anniversary, and I was meant to go to the movies and that fell through, and blah blah blah I'm obviously not feeling myself 100% again yet.

But how about this heat, hey?

...

... at least middle bro offered to copy me a CD...

FittyPod

Had a great time in Sydney - I didn't freak on the climb, Bon Iver was FANTASTIC and I wish I lived in a house furnished exclusively by IKEA. I also bought my self an iPod shuffle - there just isn't a case to bring my 30g EnnyPod to the gym (tucking it into my pants really isn't a good way to keep it working) and it was less than $70 to get myself 250 songs onto a cute little pinky-purple clip.

I plan to put my upbeat music onto it so I can shuffle away at the gym, but thought it would be great to do a CD swap, like a few of us did about two years ago. It's easy for me because I made a CD for two people at work and currently listening to it in the car, so I already know how mine will sound.

Interested?

1. Email me your postal address (EnnyPen at gmail dot com);
2. I'll send you a CD with my postal address; and
3. You send me a CD with a CD of YOUR workout songs!

Even if you're not a gym bunny, I'd love a CD of music that makes you feel like moving.

In the event of my absence

The Hun and I are in Sydney tomorrow and Thursday - for bridge climbing, Bon Iver, Bondi Beach and IKEA. I mocked up a wedding inspiration board which I love and was planning to show you tonight, but I will leave that for another time because I got an email forward that I thought was pretty cute and hadn't seen before (and wanted to show you before it was everywhere) (ignore that last bit if these are ooooooooooooold) (click to enlarge):

I'm loving them

Things I'm loving at the moment...

• Our birdie boys! Tesla and Seymour are doing really, really, really well. Tesla has learnt to wolf whistle, which delights us beyong what should be socially acceptable. That said, our excitement about getting a handle on toilet training mustn't be socialy acceptable - we get them to step up and up and up on our fingers and then call out 'poop! poop!' and a fair amount of the time they'll hunker down, turn their belies into a little upside heartshape, and do what they're being asked! This gets a lot of praise, because it's showing that they're responding to training, but also we are having to clean less crap off the floor, couch, table and clothes. We're getting much better at reading them, and their personalities are really shinging through!

• More birds! An upside of having our own birdie boys is that the blown off seed is bringing more and more other birds into our tiny courtyard - a dozen sparrows seem to be living in the tree by the back door - I plan to buy a little bird bath/feeder to blow the seed in to to cut down on the weeds and make it a little easier for the crazy fellows to get it.

• Microwave popcorn! It's crunchy, salty, warming and inherently fun, and technically it's like a veggie, right?!
  

• Wii Fit! Mumsy let me borrow hers, and I can't wait to give it a go once the microwave poprorn has settled.

• IKEA! We're stopping off their on our way home from Sydney next week and I finally got my catalogue last night, and read it until past 2am in the morning. I've got my eye on some shelves, some bedside tables, some vases for wedding table decorations and a few hundred other things. It just seems like such a fantastic place - I can't wait to be a home owner and go totally nuts on adorable floating shelves with lighting underneath, and TV units with wall panels to hide cords and attach flat screen TVs to.

• Wedding planning! Oh yeah, it's getting close to time to knuckle down and make things happen... I have a groom, half a bridal party, a date, a venue, a celebrant, a photographer, a jewllery designer (Yay Jen!!!) and 20 Google documents crammed full of ideas.

• Vegan friendly friends! I have a new work friend that came here from Brisbane and he is completely delightful. He is always so friendly, and upbeat, and fun. AND he is a great cook and loves to make things that I can eat - he made the worlds most FANTASTIC vegan mudcake the other week and shared the recipe with me. I will get his permission to share it with you if you are interested, but I can not WAIT for an excuse to make it and share it with others.
  

• Fun family nights! Last night mumsy, dadsy, middle bro, youngest bro, youngest bro's gf, myself and The Hun went to see a small local theatre production that was starring a family friend and one of my martial arts students. It was a really good peformance that everyone enjoyed, and then we headed out for a fantastic indian meal in Dickson! It was just a really, really good night.

• Fun family! Middle bro has made such amazing progress over the last 12 month or so. Not only has he shown amazing mindfulness and self control by giving up alchohol, he has lost close on 50kg, he has a fantastic level of fitness, he is proud of his appearance and he is having a positive influence on many, many people. He is housesitting for some friends for 6 weeks and he is showing even more maturity by maintaining his outlook, and his attitude to everything is just continually improving and he continues to amaze me. I am really, really proud of him.

• Me! I've been trying to be more concious with what I'm eating, and I've lost a kilo on average this week. I'm liking the way it's made me feel - cutting down on my portion sizes, keeping my fruit and veggies up, and feeling positive. And I've looked at myself in pics from last night, I've looked at my reflection, and I'm seeing the difference that concentrating on my health is having on my mental AND physical apperance. I'm in a good place at the moment. And I love it.
  

How predictable

First trip back to the gym, spent in terror that I might be getting dizzy...

I did 15 minutes at 126 heart rate (fat burn for 26 yo) and 15 minutes at 110 heart rate which felt like a fair bit of work until I realised that it was the fat burn rate for a 60yo. Look at me, going the distance.

It's going to be a tentative crawl back into the gym - my spewaphobia is just that severe. And while I understand the convulsing should be the most terrifying, I technically wasn't there for that so it doesn't seem all that real to me.

In better news I've been watching my weight this week and dropped 1.5kg... hooray for stinking hot weather in Canberra!

Wedding tradition

From here, and about to be crossposted on Facebook:


Ah ha ha!!!

Unhappy New Year!

This sort of story absolutely terrifies me...

A Canadian woman rushed to hospital on New Year's Eve for what she believed was a kidney stone gave birth to a baby boy instead, local media say.

"This is some kidney stone, isn't it," the woman, cradling the newborn in her arms, told Canwest New Service. "We're still in shock. We just can't believe it."

Juanita Stead, 36, said she did not suffer morning sickness or put on extra weight during her pregnancy, and continued to menstruate and so she had no idea that she was pregnant.

A hospital X-ray on New Year's Eve for back pains revealed the truth.

"The technician looked at me and said, 'My dear, you're pregnant with a full-term baby.' And I said: 'No sir, you got the wrong woman and you're looking at the wrong screen. There is no way I'm pregnant," she said.

Nicholas was born soon afterwards.

Coincidentally, the birth of the couple's first child, two-year-old Cameron, also caught them off guard.

Stead knew she was pregnant with Cameron, she said, but he arrived two months early.

"I felt like I had to go to the bathroom and out he popped, right into the toilet," she said. Her husband scooped their first-born out the toilet and put him in his mother's lap until an ambulance arrived, she said.

It's like those stories that you read in Dolly - 'I went to the toilet and pooped out a baby!' - that terrified you in school, then amused you in your early 20's, then terrify you once again...

Lisa the creepy vegan

You might be aware that The Hun and I have been working our way through Six Feet Under (hint: If you want to watch it yourself, there will be some spoilers here now).It's been a bit of an obsession, as in,I came home from work early last Friday just so that we could watch five in a row. We've just finished season three which was a bit of a snorefest. We only half-watched the first few episodes because we hoped it was just a dream. It wasn't. The rest of the episodes in the season can be summed up as: Someone dies, Nata and Lisa fight, David and Keith fight, Funeral, Fin; or Someone dies, Lisa is missing, Nate drinks, David and Keith fight, Funeral, Fin.

While the season wasn't that exciting (which was REALLY dissapointing because the first two seasons had us on the edge of our seats!!!), it was the character of Lisathat bothered me the most.

Lisa is a vegan. And when she was introduced I was REALLY hoping she would be cool... she was on such a cool show! But instead, she came with a whole bunch of stereotypes. She was a bit of a loner, she carried on about food a lot, she was soft spoken and alwasy eager to keep people happy. Then, annoyingly, as soon as she had a baby, she was all like 'oh no, don't worry about making me a fish-free salad, I need the protein'. Nice one, writers. Like us vegans don't get enough of that protein BS without you including it in the script.

(On a side note: check this awesome quote I read here today: "“There is enough protein in plants to grow an elephant, horse, or hippopotamus. Certainly there is enough protein to grow relatively small people.")

So, not only was she a crazy vegan, she was a real doormat for Nate (one of the main characters). They were friends in school but it turns out that he used her. He'd rebound to her and she would just hang on that, she later recalled these moments as some of her happier times "remember when that girl stood you up and you got wasted and then came to my house and we had the best sex of my life....". She kept shirts that he left at her house like decades ago, she was basically stalking him (and I'm pretty sure she was trying to entrap him with that baby of his she had). Basically, she was pretty pathetic.

And yet.

The similarities are a little uncanny.

Hello Enny the crazy vegan. Hello the girl who pined after a boy for a long time, based on the feeling they would be together in the end.

There's some truth to that Seinfield quote about how if there was someone exactly like you in the world, you would despise them.

Update to the previous post

The doctor said it was nothing to worry about - it would have been overexertion and probably some dehydration.

But if it happens again, then to come back and they'll look into it more. GAWD, I HOPE IT DOESN'T HAPPEN AGAIN.

On the plus side, I am officially the most hardcore person I know, so that's something...

Not a good way to start the year

Do you know what's more embarassing then getting all ready and sweaty in the gym?

Getting red and sweaty in the gym, feeling a little dizzy, starting to stand up then deciding you can't really, then sitting down on the floor near the wall, then trying to get your brothers attention, then him just getting angry because he's already on the next machine and he thinks your telling him to change machines and he has no problem with the machine he's on, then him pulling his headphone out and yelling at you that he can't hear you and you can tell he just thinks your f*cking around, then him finally coming towards you so he can hear you say you think you need some help, then taking your shoes and socks off because it's so hot, and reaching around to maybe losing your bra straps because it's so hot and it feels so tight, then realising you feel sick so you spread your towel out in front, then a staff member comes because your brother told them you needed help, then answering the staff member that your symptoms are that it's hot and you feel dizzy and that you think you're going to vomit, then the staff member fetching you a bucket, then you ask him if you can just lie down and go to sleep, then him saying no because then the room will spin and you'll feel worse and it will pass soon and that you just need to relax, and then you realise that you can't see or hear anything, and then all of a sudden you're aware that someone is holding your headback and you've managed to throw up all over yourself and the floor and not in the bucket, and then you start to feel a lot better even though it sounds like you're underwater, and then you think you hear the girl say that you've shat yourself and the guy replies that it happens, and then there are three staff getting an oxygen mask out for you, then the girl gets you a bottle of cold water, while one guy makes small talk and the other questions your brother so you can fill out an incident form, then you're taking deep breaths through an oxygen mask and feeling it tickle your nose, then you're apologising over and over for throwing up and causing hassle and freaking out that you may have shat yourself, then your bother points out that one of your martial arts studens is walking past, then they give you a tshirt to put on over the new singlet and shorts that you bought just so you could get back in to the new year and lose those 6kg for your wedding, and then you feel a fair bit better and get up to go home and stop in the toilets and find that thank god you didn't wreck yourself and the girl must have been nothing that at least you didn't sh*t yourself and when you're in the car your brother tells you that you passed out limp and started convulsing before you vomited on yourself, then you thank him for helping out and profusely apologise for getting vomit on his towel and promise to return it good as new, then you drop him home and your dad wonders allowed if you have some kind of heart problem, then you get to your house to tell your fiance and he is angry worried because you're just not the type to have the fire to battle through exercise until you make yourself sick, then you assure him you're going to the doctor at 9am on Monday anyway so you will definitely bring it up.

That is.
And I still have a headache and feel funny in my throat.