Hrm

Mumsy: "Middle bro tells us you have a blog. I googled (real name) blog but couldn't find it - where is it?"

Enny: "I'm not telling you!"

Mumsy: "Well, I'm sure middle bro will tell us."

Hrm.

(S)no(w) woman, no cry

You may remember this picture:

This was taken nine years ago, on my last trip to the snow - a year 11 ski trip. It was also capturing the longest amount of time I was 'in' my skis once the lesson was over - I spent more happy time sliding down snow hills on my ass than I did cranky struggling around in my skis.

Eldest bro was organising a day trip to the snow - he's been with his gf and the other bro's before, but was inviting The Hun and I along as well. The Hun was keen to go, however he knew it would proddly be a waste of money for me to go after my last trip and was worried that the boys would go on ahead without him - apparently on the same school ski trip he was left behind and had to catch the tube alone. So, I told him I'd do my best and we joined in.

We were up at 5:30 on sat for the bus trip to Thredbo and arrived without much spectacle - the boys, eldest bro's gf, her brother and middle bro's friend all rushed off for their boards and The Hun and I straggled behind and got ourselves some skis. We went up the ski lift on the beginners hill (which was a big deal for me in itself) and then all of a sudden I was atop a hill, then on my ass, then struggling to get up, then out of my skis, then back up, then back in my skis, then stuck and terrified, then out of my skis and then walking down the hill with my gear in hand - The Hun had been twice before so he humoured me in skiing down at roughly my walking speed but not without constantly letting me know I shouldn't be a wuss and that it's easy and that I had to just give it a go and be confident. He didn't want to hang out alone while I had my super beginner 2 hour lessn, so I conned him into coming along - it is proddly the only time in his life he has decided in retrospect that he would have had a better time hanging around alone instead. Note to Thredbo: you shouldn't be charging people $55 per head to only be moving for 1/14th of the two hour lesson. I did however get a bit more confidence and got better at stopping and learnt a little bit about turning (the method that worked best for me is the babies version where you touch the opposite knee to the way you want to turn).

Everyone but middle bro, his friend and I (and The Huns gloves) went off to tackle an intermediate slope while we paid a stupid ridiculous amount for lunch. Note to Thredbo: You shouldn't guarantee that veggie sushi is vegan if it is full of mayo, especially if you've clarified with the people who make it. Then I minded the table while middle bro and his friend went back to the learner hill and everyone else eventually joined me. This is when I got to see the effects of youngest bro ramming into the back of The Hun while he is not wearing gloves - mangled skinned knuckles and fingers. I also got to hear about the snowboarding lesson everyone else took which was very beneficial to middle bro and his friend (who were snowboard super beginners as last time middle bro snowboarded his bindings where ruined and it just didn't work) and only partially beneficial to the others. Note to Thredbo: If someone slips and bangs the back of their head so hard that fluid rushes out of their nose, you shouldn't automatically dismiss it as snot - it's actually a symotom of a skull fracture and they need to go to the hospital within 48 hours. Luckily for youngest bro he wasn't experiencing blinding headaches, fainting spells, bags under his eyes and pooled blood behind his ears, but it was a very tense few hours after eldest bro spoke to the nursing line and then informed youngest bro he had to see a doctor within 4 hours. What's scarier is that youngest bro went out and got hammered after skiing, so if he woke up feeling not crash hot on Sunday, it would have been put down to being a hangover.

After lunch, everyone went off to tackle another run, while I hung around to look for middle bro and his friend, and decided to come up the baby hill and give it one last go. I got off the chairlift and managed to stay upright, then skied a little, stacked, walked a little, put my skis on again, skied a bit more, took my skis off and walked down the hill to where The Hun was waiting, indicating he knew where to look to find me (walking down the hill). He was however very proud to hear that I had skiied 1/3 of the baby hill, and all by myself in fact! That's how low the standards were set for me and sadly it did feel like I'd accomplished a whole lot.

We then rushed to return all our stuff and made it back to the bus just in time - only to realise youngest bro, middle bro and his friend had not yet made it to the bus. Cue youngest bro running to the bus to ask eldest bro's gf for her paper receipt from when she checked out her ski gear as Thredbo had misplaced their copy of the receipt. Note to Thredbo: It's 2007 - upgrade to an electronic system. Youngest bro and middle bro's friend made it back to the bus, with middle bro hopping behind. He gets onto the bus, sits across the aisle from me and states "I think I broke my ankle - I heard a snap and my foot is numb" - removal of his sock revealed a big, bruised lump, causing me to immediately exclaim "YOU HAVE TO GO TO HOSPITAL!!" tempered by The Hun's "They won't do anything but ice it, compress it and tell him to keep it up - it's probably a sprain". Once we made it off the bus, middle bro hopped and hobbled to the car and I didn't see him until I was back at my parent's house, ready to pick him up to take him to a farewell party.

Instead I was greeted with an angry dadsy, telling me to drop him off at casualty on the way to the farewell - seems that when middle bro told him he thought he'd broken his ankle, middle bro got his stubborn on about not wanting to go hospital and hypochondriac dadsy was telling him if it was broken and undiagnosed then something would leech and he would have a stroke. We took the poor fellow (who was actually quite upbeat, considering) to the McDonalds drive-thru (which was more of a park-then-reverse) and then to Ali Baba for a kebab before dropping him off at casualty. Alone.

I called him at 10:30 as I left the farewell and his phone was off, so I sent him a message telling him to message me if he wanted company or anything.

Long story short - middle bro got home at 3am with a half cast and a diagnosed fractured tibia. Note to Thredbo: If a fully grown male gets twisted in a stack coming off a chairlift and ends up with his leg twisted back and up - don't pretend nothing happened. Check he's okay rather than letting him snowboard down a hill with a fractured leg.

He's back to the hospital tomorrow to get proper xrays, see a specialist and get a proper cast. I will admit I've already bought texta's and am trying to think of what I can scribble on it.

All in all, not actually that bad a day. However dadsy has indicated that next time the boys want to go to the snow, he will just hire a cement mixer and chuck them in there instead.

Twenty One - So Not Fun

I went to a twenty first last night - the daughter of a family friend.

And it was, um, interesting.

Firstly - it was a dressup party, the theme of 1986 specifically. So mumsy, dadsy, eldest bro, middle bro, youngest bro, eldest bro's gf and I went as Devo. Unfortunately, I don't have any edited pics for you as I parked in the middle of the street and there were cars coming from both directions and I panicked and only remembered my grog and my whip and not the spiffy new camera that we are still to use since returning from out OS holiday before The Hun had to jump into the drivers seat to take the car back home. However, take my word that most of Saturday was spent loitering around Bunnings, stocking up on pot plants, red spay paint, elasticised cord and pieces of dowling from which to concoct the outfits which were then compiled in the shed and teamed with skivvies and sweatshirts from Lowes.

Tension was high as we lined up on the front stoop, ready to make our debut - evident when youngest bro's hat fell off and smashed into three seperate pieces and dadsy was super quick to admonish him for it. It was not all his fault however - there was a bit of an inaccuracy in our outfit...

These are what Devo Powerdome hats SHOULD look like.

Our hats were instead WAY too high - that's what you get when you secure two potplants together with a hot glue gun, stick a plastic drinking cup on top and spray them hot red.

The host didn't answer the door, so it was up to us to shuffle our way through the more than 100 strange people crammed into the house (bloody Canberra weather), ignoring the looks and not so quiet whispers of 'Who are they meant to be?' 'I don't get it' and 'Am I missing something?' to the relative safety of the very back corner of the backyard where we could huddle away from them. Did you know that apart from the few who made an effort - such as Hans Solo and the Ghostbusters - that dressing up as '1986' just means you dress like a slut? You just wear whatever the current fashion is and make it shorter and have a quick go with the crimper.

I felt sh!t - My hat broke during the rush to the backyard, so I was just the older person who was wearing a frumpy black Lowes skivvy and workpants. Then the bro's hung out together in the corner where there wasn't a seat for me, eldest bro's gf did a good job of talking to the others that were gathered around the fire and I searched for mumsy and dadsy on the inside. This is where I got to experience being asked my age for the first time since my birthday (I don't like saying '25'. I thought I'd be better with it now, but I guess not) and argued with a guy about veganism where my lack of knowledge shone through again ("Well, I worked on a dairy farm and they didn't seem to mind having their calves taken away" "We evolved this way" "We have canines for a reason"). Good times.

Anyways, seems the young are getting younger - these ppl were children. They were giving their speeches and were all 'We'll be friends when we're old and gray' and 'We've been through so much' and 'I love you so much, I'm sorry... I'm tearing up...'. Seriously now.

And sluttier. There was so much cleavage, so many skinny jeans and too much eyeliner. There was also an amazing front muffin top that was prominently displayed and I'm still not sure if it was intentional as part of the costume or not... I also came across a girl who dated my first ex after me (she is only turning 21 this year, he is 27 now) (also he was telling people they were dating and she always denied it and never talked to him again) (and he's now dating a 20 year old) and she is now into the ladies. She was also a baby-talker (I didn't stick around long enough to see if this was still the case) and dressed as one of about 6 Rainbow Brights - which basically meant dressing like a slut but with lots of different colours.

And nastier. Apparently one of the sluts walked up to where we were all sitting and announced 'Oh, this must be the corner for people who can't be f*cked to dress up'. Seriously. Had I actually heard her, I may have started a rumble. That is not taking into consideration the people who were calling the party girl a c*nt while she was up the front during the speeches, the people behind me talking through the slide show about how they hadn't seen one the photo people for years but that was ok because she got super fat, the people yelling out if there were any photos in the slide show that WEREN'T taken by the party girl herself, the people moaning that the party girl was a bitch for not including them in the slide show and the domestic in the bathroom I walked in on where one girl was threatening to leave because 'she didn't stay long at my 18th so why should I stay?!'.

I also woke up with a bit of a headache - I only had 5 drinks.

I wouldn't mind being 21 again, only because there is NO way I was like that at 21. Surely. And if I was by some twist of fate, I guess then that being 25 isn't SO bad... Has there always been such a big difference between 21 and 25? Have you changed a lot in that time?

Dot Points for a drinky Tuesday

Been a while since I've thrown some dots your way, eh?

• The Girl engagement thing is going on the downlow for a lil bit. We sat down over a bag of kettles, two cruisers and a bake-at-home turkish loaf and decided that it would be best to be a bit shush. Seems there was a fairly long chat with the boy in question about it, and she doesn't want to jump to conclusions/make judgements/OD on valium until it's a bit clearer in person. She does have the entire conversation saved, so it may make a comeback at some stage (because I know you're nosy because you're here, aren't you?!).

• I didn't die after kickboxing, though haven't been to the gym since and DO plan to go again this week. I felt VERY out of shape, plus it didn't help that an ex student was there just watching (she taught the class before and decided to come back in halfway through and just SIT there for some godforsaken reason) AND the carb loading I'm doing (see above point), but I'm determined at some stage to get fitter (unless I fall into a 'woe is me' stage that I feel I'm teetering on).

• My tapey face is doing well - it's a lil scabby and it wasn't AWESOME getting the tiny tight stitches pulled out (though infinitely better than having them put in) and I'm still taped up - but the fact that I think my scab looks 'cute' where my lip mole Mole MOLE used to be is a good indicator of my doing the right thing.

• It is also itchy as all heck - I think that's also a good sign, but I just want to get in there and dig around in it. I'm refraining, but considering tricking The Hun into biting my nose (he almost bit my nose hole the other day) just to get some kind of itch in there.
  

• Still no word on that job I applied for (thanks for all your support, team) so I must say I am MOST unimpressed with a company that doesn't get back to applicants even if they are totally underqualified and just fooling themselves. I should add, however, that my only slightly controlled outburst after a meeting about the conditions surrounding the future dismemberment of my team ("Well, there's definitely more incentive for me to leave than stay now!") resulted in me getting approved for a pay rise... two jumps in just over a month adding up to more than $8000 annual increase? That eases the pain somewhat...

• I used to be a really good speller in school, but I cannot thank the automatic spellchecker ENOUGH for automatically pointing out each time I spell 'definitely' wrong ("definately"). Hooray for technology.

• Did I tell you our landlord never showed? Or called? Still? I have no qualms about telling EVERYONE that Independent Property Group is the WORST real estate agency. EVER.

• As more than one of you may be aware, I am totally obsessed with Facebook. So again - if you're out there and want to be my bud, send me an email? If you're not stalker material I'll add you to my RL account... if you are? Don't be a hater for not being added.
  

• I almost managed to book Dadsy in for a tattoo on the weekend. He's turning the big 5-0 this year and I suggested we buy him a tattoo - however because he is his daughters father he would like it sooner rather than later, and if we paid for it he'd still want something more for his actual b'day (not until November). The only drawback to getting it done on the w/end was that he wants youngest bro to be there too so the tat man writes the same thing in the same way in the same place. I think I'm more excited than him about it... on the one hand I have the feeling he'll try and pike, on the other hand I really hope he doesn't because I think it would be awesome for each person in our family to have the same tattoo.

• That unit I thought I royally screwed the exam for? I came out of the course with a credit! That course I was sitting on more than 90% for? I came out with only a pass!!! Seems I royally f*cked that exam up the ass (apologies for the graphic description, team). I went into the lecturer and saw it with my own eyes - I scored only 52% and was pretty much berated for providing shallow answers with absolutely NO depth in TERRIBLE handwriting! I was in there for over a half hour going over it all with him, and a phone call today confirmed that he's decided to bump it to a credit. Which I should be happy with on many levels (at least I passed, at least I got a credit, at least he didn't remark it to a fail, at least I don't have to worry about the poor quality of the unit again) I'm still disappointed that I didn't get what was proddly my only chance at getting a HD AND it's the first time since I've been back at uni that I haven't come out of a semester with a credit and a distinction.

• I am getting worried about my old dog at home. He's been around since I was in year 4 and is totally skin, bones and wobbles now. His feet slip on the cork tiling, he leans up against anything he can, and all the stories from home about him are only sad... like how he fell in the fish pond and nearly drowned the other week - his eyes are like 90% cataracts, he was put outside because he was peeing on the family room floor right in front of Dadsy and the outside lights weren't on and he couldn't work out where he was. Plus he was wearing his heavy winter jacket because he has no fat to keep him warm, which would have weighed him down (and his back legs hardly work as it is) and he shook for 3 hours after they found him soaked and covered in leaves by the back door, even after they took half an hour to hairdry him (he weighs less than 4 kilos now). Or the stories are funny but sad, like how the other week it looked like he was having a fit or something because he was leaning up against the unit and coudln't stand up properly and looked stressed so mumsy picked him up to calm him down, but he was actually peeing in the house. Yeah - lot of peeing stories, but all he does now is sleep and pee. Poor old dog.

• I am looking forward to my potential Qld trip in November (I'm almost 100% sure I'll get my nose done if I can get a teeny tiny stud, I haven't had ANYONE in RL say it would be a good diea) and I am also looking forward to a potential Melbourne trip in August. Hooray for minibreaks!
  

This is not a tribute...

It's a shoutout to middle bro, who turned 22 on Wednesday (after suffering through three days of a vomit bug and coming out of it six kilos lighter) and who had a bit of shindig tonight where he reminded me it was his "one year anniversary" of declaring his love "for the enny penny".

Happy belated birthday middle bro!

ALSO - you all know Bjork is my fav artist, right? Well, I bought Volta today and whilst I'm yet to listen to it all they way through yet, I defy you to listen to this song and not admire it's awesomness... enjoy!