(Note the big HYPOTHETICAL in heading? Means that this is just a rambling musing...!)
Sacrifices are always a given in a relationship, the unavoidable dance of give and take. But when push comes to shove, when is too much REALLY too much? Too much give? Too much take? Too much change? Too many chances? And when does this become a deal breaker?
Before I was ever in a relationship, I'd tell my friends (at those sleepovers and chats at lunch) that if I was ever in a relationship - I'd never stand to be cheated on. Yet when I was cheated in what was my second relationship, we carried on for another few years - we carried on through the noxious fog. There was no real deal breaker in that relationship - just a sense of realisation that there was a lot more out there for me. There was however a deal breaker in the 'post-relationship' - tiptoeing away down his driveway, tear stained and ego crushed after one too many nights of cruel comments and harsh words.
My first relationship was somewhat similar - I experience my sense of relisation that there was a lot more out there for me, but he disagreed. And when the opportunity for a weekend away without him presented itself, I warned him that I still felt what I'd told him and that if a certain opportunity came to pass, I wouldn't turn it down. We continued for about a month after that - when he finally came to terms with a betrayal that was intended to be a deal breaker.
And whilst you think you can define your deal breakers before you enter a relationship, or whilst you can look back and define what it was after you've finished the relationship, there are always different breakers for different takers.
You're just too messy - I see it everywhere I look.
You promised me you'd never do it again - you've always know how I felt about that - how can I ever trust you again?
How could you agree to that without talking to me first - what does that mean for us?
There's just no contact anymore - even when we're sleeping - how you can you say you still love me but you just aren't attracted to me?
What do you mean it's my fault you cheated on me?
How can you possibly think that spending less time together will bring us closer together?
Why don't you wear your wedding band anymore?
We were foolish to think we could ever overcome this.