Oh hai!

Still heres.

Flirted with the idea of creating a whole new identity but would be too lonely - also thought about suspended animation (is that what it's called? where you life pauses?) but you can see I obviously don't know enough about it. Also - changed my mind on that for a little while.

Wish there was something exciting to give you guys, but seemingly not - I've just had some more raisin toast (you guys HAVE to try that extra thick cafe style from the bread aisle) and am about to go to cardio-boxing class then clean up the house because we have a stinking house inspection on Friday.

I guess my yoyoing still continues - I kinda feel like that wire that our neighbours used to tie between their fruit trees. It was tense but relaxed, and as soon as a bird landed on it it would vibrate like nothing else. Not that I have birds landing on me, but you know what I mean. Surely you do?

I worry about not having friends, then feel happy to have so many lovely friends; I feel secure in my relationship, then I freak out and look to poke holes and doubt; I am happy with how I look and feel then I freak out and then I binge.

I guess it's just a clashing of the times - The Hun's ex is engaged, had lunch with a friend with a baby, went to the markets with a newly pregnant friend and her son, getting ready for another two weddings later this year, a pregnant friend is visiting from interstate, people are buying houses, I'm getting older, I lost The Hun to Le'frickin'Tour and then Harry Potter, I'm begging Tony Ferguson to hurry up getting his soy shakes to a shopfront near me, Dadsy wants to put Elvis down...

You can imagine how fun I am.

Anyways, must be looking on the bright side - going to Melbourne next month, going to see Angus & Julia Stone soon, and planning to go to BDO and Homeback too.

Off the gym - will perhaps return with something more enlightening later :o)

Oh I am ALL about the blahs

And for fear for blabbering on and causing too much concern (I'm sure it's just a combination of hormones and timing and getting old and winds they are a-changing) I will instead post this for Canberrans, as sent on to me by gf1:

Blog Jam - Blogging Competition - 31 October 2007

Entries are open now for the blog competition! The ACT Writers Centre and CAP magazine (Culture Arts Politics) are sponsoring a competition called Blog Jam. The competition is open to young people under age 26 (at 31st Oct 2007) who live in the ACT region. Entries must be no more than 500 words.

Only one entry per person. There is no entry fee! Your blog could be a story, rave, diary entry, tirade, fact or fiction written by you of course. The only assessment criterion is that it must be INTERESTING WRITING.

Email your entry with Blog Jam in the subject line to youth@actwriters.org.au by 31 October 2007. Include your name, age, email address and the URL where you have posted your blog - This could be on MySpace, Blogger, WordPress or any other blog website. Do not email sound or images with your entry. The entries will be judged by a panel of writers appointed by the ACT Writers Centre. Winners will be announced at the ACT Writers Centre Christmas party on Thursday 13 December 2007 and published in CAP Magazine.

Prizes: 1st - $200 cash; 2nd - $100 cash; 3rd - $50 cash.
Winners will also receive 12 months electronic membership of the ACT Writers Centre.

For further details go to:
http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=184317047&blogID=280544203

Twenty One - So Not Fun

I went to a twenty first last night - the daughter of a family friend.

And it was, um, interesting.

Firstly - it was a dressup party, the theme of 1986 specifically. So mumsy, dadsy, eldest bro, middle bro, youngest bro, eldest bro's gf and I went as Devo. Unfortunately, I don't have any edited pics for you as I parked in the middle of the street and there were cars coming from both directions and I panicked and only remembered my grog and my whip and not the spiffy new camera that we are still to use since returning from out OS holiday before The Hun had to jump into the drivers seat to take the car back home. However, take my word that most of Saturday was spent loitering around Bunnings, stocking up on pot plants, red spay paint, elasticised cord and pieces of dowling from which to concoct the outfits which were then compiled in the shed and teamed with skivvies and sweatshirts from Lowes.

Tension was high as we lined up on the front stoop, ready to make our debut - evident when youngest bro's hat fell off and smashed into three seperate pieces and dadsy was super quick to admonish him for it. It was not all his fault however - there was a bit of an inaccuracy in our outfit...

These are what Devo Powerdome hats SHOULD look like.

Our hats were instead WAY too high - that's what you get when you secure two potplants together with a hot glue gun, stick a plastic drinking cup on top and spray them hot red.

The host didn't answer the door, so it was up to us to shuffle our way through the more than 100 strange people crammed into the house (bloody Canberra weather), ignoring the looks and not so quiet whispers of 'Who are they meant to be?' 'I don't get it' and 'Am I missing something?' to the relative safety of the very back corner of the backyard where we could huddle away from them. Did you know that apart from the few who made an effort - such as Hans Solo and the Ghostbusters - that dressing up as '1986' just means you dress like a slut? You just wear whatever the current fashion is and make it shorter and have a quick go with the crimper.

I felt sh!t - My hat broke during the rush to the backyard, so I was just the older person who was wearing a frumpy black Lowes skivvy and workpants. Then the bro's hung out together in the corner where there wasn't a seat for me, eldest bro's gf did a good job of talking to the others that were gathered around the fire and I searched for mumsy and dadsy on the inside. This is where I got to experience being asked my age for the first time since my birthday (I don't like saying '25'. I thought I'd be better with it now, but I guess not) and argued with a guy about veganism where my lack of knowledge shone through again ("Well, I worked on a dairy farm and they didn't seem to mind having their calves taken away" "We evolved this way" "We have canines for a reason"). Good times.

Anyways, seems the young are getting younger - these ppl were children. They were giving their speeches and were all 'We'll be friends when we're old and gray' and 'We've been through so much' and 'I love you so much, I'm sorry... I'm tearing up...'. Seriously now.

And sluttier. There was so much cleavage, so many skinny jeans and too much eyeliner. There was also an amazing front muffin top that was prominently displayed and I'm still not sure if it was intentional as part of the costume or not... I also came across a girl who dated my first ex after me (she is only turning 21 this year, he is 27 now) (also he was telling people they were dating and she always denied it and never talked to him again) (and he's now dating a 20 year old) and she is now into the ladies. She was also a baby-talker (I didn't stick around long enough to see if this was still the case) and dressed as one of about 6 Rainbow Brights - which basically meant dressing like a slut but with lots of different colours.

And nastier. Apparently one of the sluts walked up to where we were all sitting and announced 'Oh, this must be the corner for people who can't be f*cked to dress up'. Seriously. Had I actually heard her, I may have started a rumble. That is not taking into consideration the people who were calling the party girl a c*nt while she was up the front during the speeches, the people behind me talking through the slide show about how they hadn't seen one the photo people for years but that was ok because she got super fat, the people yelling out if there were any photos in the slide show that WEREN'T taken by the party girl herself, the people moaning that the party girl was a bitch for not including them in the slide show and the domestic in the bathroom I walked in on where one girl was threatening to leave because 'she didn't stay long at my 18th so why should I stay?!'.

I also woke up with a bit of a headache - I only had 5 drinks.

I wouldn't mind being 21 again, only because there is NO way I was like that at 21. Surely. And if I was by some twist of fate, I guess then that being 25 isn't SO bad... Has there always been such a big difference between 21 and 25? Have you changed a lot in that time?

Noises from a hole in the face

Has been an interesting few days.

I managed to get some skin coloured tape so that it looks less obvious - instead I look like my face has got some funny textured rash and that I'm snearing at everyone and talking in monotone. And it is also prone to hanging down into the corner of my mouth. Noice.

Anyway, the reactions have been kind interesting and a little suprising.

Youngest Bro told me it looked like my whole face hurt - that was a nice one as I'm a sucker for sympathy.

There was the lady sitting next to me at the Branch meeting that I have never met that just came out with the 'So. What happened to your face?'. I must say that I admired her bravery, but not so much her tone.

The Hun's reaction has been lovely, clucking on me to see that I'm ok, telling me that I look like I'm in pain, and trying to make me laugh so that I produce my tilted snarly half smile.

There was also the guy at work who did the whole 'What happened if you don't mind me asking' which is the path I would take for fear of upsetting someone who may be not entirely well.

The most surprising was the lady at work who told me she was disgusted that I did it. Why on earth would I get them removed and that was disgusting, I just should have left them. I honestly can not understand where her disgust is - it completely baffles me. I tried to tell her they were just growing and growing and that it would be different if it were her - she would get them removed. But she cannot accept it and just carries on like I have instead had a big hairy mole inserted on my face.

The most pleasing, has been the lady at martial arts who told me 'Good on you'. It was nice to be congratulated for doing something that was completely my decision and does not affect anyone other than me. It was particularly nice after the crap day of being paid out by the lady at work.

Anyways, I'm off to kickboxing for the first time in FOREVER which will be interesting - my face is a little stingy (not stingy like cheap, more like it stings) from having to keep pressing the tape back onto my lip, so I hope the sweat doesn't make it worse and I wake up and it's all magically comfortable again.

I'm gonna look so tough rocking up with my face holes, but so pathetic when I mince around at work tomorrow as my muscles pay me back for abusing it.

Surfacing

Guess who succumbed to the cold? Yup - The Hun and I. And as this is the first day I've felt better more than I've felt worse I thought I should let you know that we haven't died yet, festering in our germ house of snot.

Wednesday night was THE worst nights sleep I've ever had - I was up twice for the loo, and woke up roughly each hour with a head full of snot. This is turn woke up The Hun who was feeling progressively sh!ttier as the night wore on (apparently my tossing and turning didn't help). A phone call to the boss allowed me a day to rest it off and he signed off with 'see you tomorrow, maybe'.

I perked up a bit on Thursday just before lunch, then came crashing down again. I lay on the couch for almost four hours with a facewasher on my head - my head was burning hot, my feet were cold, I'd sweat then I'd cold sweat, then I'd need to sit up to blow my nose and my head would ache.

Friday morning I woke up to discover it hadn't sunk to my chest - it had expanded there. So I still felt like sh!t and now had the voice to match it. Another phone call and another day off. Again, I perked up in the middle of the day, but crashed again - lowlight being waking myself up after falling asleep on the couch accidentally by choking on my own lethal phlegm combination.

Saturday morning I woke up believing that somebody had created an eye out of whole new materials and replaced my eye with their new one. While pondering on why somebody would do that to me I woke up properly and realised that of course it was just a dream - instead thinking I had conjunctivitis.

There is a point to this story.

It seems that housecleaning is the cure for the cold - The Hun and I spent the weekend cleaning up for our inspection that's occurring either today or tomorrow. What's that? One of two days? Don't landlords have to give notice of the date and time they'll do an inspection?

Well, as said as I took over Michelle's comments:

• We got sent a letter on the 5th to say there'd be an inspection on the 25th of this month and that someone had to be home as they didn't own keys.

• I emailed on the 8th to say that every other inspection had been done without us there as they do have keys, however if someone must be present can they change it to the 26th as I would be home that day. No reply.

• I emailed on the 18th to see if she had received my email. No reply.

• I called on the 20th and someone else answered to say she was away from her desk and would call back. No reply.

• I called the general office on the 22nd and left a message on the answering machine. No reply.

• I called her direct number on the 22nd and took it out on the poor thing you answered the phone to say that no one would be home on the 25th, so they either find the keys or do it on the 26th. No. R.E.P.L.Y.
  

So, we spent the weekend cleaning for someone who may or may not turn up tomorrow or may or may not turn up the day after.

My money is on her not showing and instead rescheduling - will let you know how it goes.

Anyways, we're both snotty and coughy and occasionally headachey. Can I please recommend to all you people out there - next time you get a flu or cold, don't allow your partner to catch it at the same time. There is nothing worse than being sick and having someone compete for your sympathy, rather than looking after you. Meals just don't happen, no one will pat your head to make you feel better because it hurts to move their arm, and there's no one giving you that extra bit of leway for being rude just because your sick.

So now youngest bro has three people after him - eldest bro caught it as well and all fingers seem to point to him. Though I guess we should all forgive him seeing as the same bug caused him to almost pass out in the line at Subway the other night...

Hot room, warm head, cold feet.

Guess who's in bed with the tissues, headache and scratchy throat?

Seems that standing in the rain for a few hours on Friday and Saturday to see His Holiness the Dalai Lama, the sleety freezing walks back to my car from work yesterday and Monday AND hanging out a bit with youngest bro has deemed me suitable for a flu. It's also worrying that The Hun is feeling somewhat similar - though at least we're getting it at the same time... the typical pattern is for me to get a bug, and then he is to catch it just as I am better but of course his seems 10 times worse as is the case for all men, it seems. He always gets to win.

For all my hypochondria, I'm actually quite healthy. I only had one flu last year - the week of my birthday and the same week I got the flu shot. I remember when I was younger I would think 'I wish I was sick - I'd love a day off'. Then of course on the rare occasion I actually was under the weather, I'd swear never to wish for such a stupid thing again.

There is more than a slight chance that I have been wishing for illness as I too have succumbed to Facebook and am spending all my waking (and some of my should-be-sleeping) hours trawling for people I know and spying on their friends. Oh MySpazz, you almost had me - but Facebook is so much easier to use and more entertaining (even IF I can't remove any of the applications I have already tired of).

Anyways, in it's twisted little way, I am kinda hoping this isn't just an afternoon flu, and does give me time to sit on my ass. One of our two heaters broke the other day (as in, it was producing large amounts of heat when switched off and producing sparky oil crackle sounds when it was flicked on again) so we are heating the house off one coil heater stored in the bedroom. 3.5 hours of heat in a bedroom is too much, but I just can't get my feet warm...

Where was I? Oh yeah - on my ass.

Beacuse I would love a day of heated couch doonaing, soup in one hand and The Hun's head in the other - he's a stickler for a good headscratch and I'm jumping at the chance to use this lolcat I saw the other day:

Take THAT Exams!

Two exams two mornings in a row = crappy.

The first one went terribly. I studied all the stuff in general, principles and relationships etc and focussed on the hints that our tutor subtly gave us for two hours in a hushed voice, stressing we don't share it with anyone. Unfortunately, it was the opposite to one of my previous exams where I memorised calculations and formulas and relationships, only to be asked about general high level principles. The essay questions where very specific - the type of things you'd be asked in take home essay questions - and not at ALL related to what the tutor highlighted. Like the time I spent learning about the federal tribunal, arbitration and conciliation COULD have been spent on actually knowing specifics about how conflict is the lifeblood of the organisation and details of specific employer associations... What might be ok is that I was on 42/60 pre-exam, so if passing the exam is not a requirement, I should still be passing the course... perhaps even scraping with a credit if I get 23/40?!

The second one this morning went well, I think. It was a two hour exam and I walked out at the 90 minute mark, after only graspng for answers and fluffing about on one of the questions. Proddly the best part about it is that one of the questions was about the group assignment, designed to catch out the people who didn't do a fair share of the work and/or only did their part. This meant that I basically got free points as I did my group assignment myself so knew what it was about. Again, I think.

SO. My point is - it's done. And I will spend the nex month utilising my free time by sitting on my ass playing Lumines, cleaning my room and printing out photos. AndPerhapsApplyingForJobsAsIhaveNotHeardAthingFromThatOtherOneWhichIs
NotAgoodSignAndActuallyDownrightRudeOfThem.

I have my big four-oh-oh coming up - any suggestions for the post? I know adam was a fan of The Hun's interview, but that was a struggle to get together, and he seems to have abandoned us for RSI town. *sniff*.

Waste of a Day

Anyway that my day could be wasted today, was wasted.

I wasted time this morning sleeping in because The Hun watched the second last episode of the last season of The West Wing and I egged him on to watch the final (like you'd want to watch the last one by iteslf) - an error in sending the files to the Xbox meant that the final episode stopped halfway through and a scramble for network cables et al ensued, pushing bed time back until after 1am.

I wasted my day checking the fax for a bank statement that shitty St George need to send me. My original Guess bag (the one that played a starring role in NerdFest I: Where it all began) developed a tear in the lining above the zipper inside - it's less than four months old!!! I chucked out the receipt and don't keep my statements (my bad) so I have to get a statement faxed to prove that I did purchase it so that I can swap it over, and the bank charges me $7.50! So I got the fax yesterday and the waify slow teller dood ordered the WRONG statement (ie, before I bought the bag) though faxed it to me within an hour. I've made FOUR phone calls since yesterday lunch nagging him to send the correct one and it STILL hasn't arrived - I think they're having trouble working out how to send it to me without charging me a ridiculous fee. I also sound like a dirty perve because there's no direct number listed so I've been calling the home loan centre part in there and ask to speak to the guy with the ring of two hands holding a heart on his wedding finger. There was nothing else of interest on the guy and he was so slooooooooow at serving I was just staring at it.

My girly financial sense tells me that even though I have a new bag that I'm betrothed too, I'd be better off getting a replacement for old goldy than getting my money back - I got him on sale for $90 something when he was worth much more (there was a double discount at the time I bought it) but if I exchange it I PRESUME I'd get one worth what he was worth? I'm thinking of a lovely little black one, but I'll keep you updated on that.

I wasted an afternoon in my lecture as it was just a guest lecturer pitching his product at us. I didn't learn anything and it lasted less than hour of the two hours scheduled AGAIN.

I wasted an evening in the tute as I was told I was meant to have a draft ready of an assignment I didn't know was even going on.

And I've wasted my time almost posting a request for help with working out what accomodation is near the Hordern Pavilion as DAVE MATTHEWS HAS RESCHEDULED HIS SHOWS TO WHEN WE'RE IN JAPAN AND NOW I CAN'T GO!!!

I don't believe it!!!

Allergic to work?

I'm tired.

It might be because there was no sleep in this weekend due to the grading on Saturday and the Christening on Sunday.

It's only Tuesday, but both days this week I've woken up feeling ok, and then felt crap as soon as I've got into work - throaty, chesty and eye boggly. Yesterday I felt fine once I was outta work - today I feel worse... I still have a headache. This proddly was also due to the INSANE tute and lecture I sat thru this afternoon (well, 1/3rd lecture) of an hour of struggling to understand the tutor, and 30 mins of looking at a screen of notes that weren't on the site when I downloaded LAST WEEKS NOTES BY ACCIDENT this afternoon. The dude started rambling about the history of Industrial Relations - but the slide on the screen had like two sets of years on it, and THAT'S IT. Rambling about the first fleet was this year, first strike was this year, ladies got the vote in this year, the blah-blah ruling was way back here, the so and so whatever happened then... You can tell I wasn't in the mood for it, can't you?!

Luckily, I found out last week that a friend of mine is also in the class, so I'll email him tomorrow for the heads up - I have NO idea what this course is doing - there is no structure to the tutes, there is no direction on what chapters to read, I know I need clippings about SOMETHING but don't really know what.

So I'm kinda hoping for a flu day because I get the flu shot each year - last year I had 3.5 days off work for sick leave - all in a row the week I got the flu shot needle, and THAT WAS IT. Work is quiet and I'm starting to freak myself out that mebbe the symptoms are actually signs of infection and I'll have to get my foot amputated and so on and so forth.

Anyway, the point of my story was meant to be - how can you tell that I'm tired?

When I try to snooze my alarm for another 10 minutes by pressing the side of The Hun's head (as opposed to the side of my phone).

Time for an early night, methinks.

Hallmark says: F*ck You

On Valentines day three years ago, I finished work at the Thai restaraunt my stoopid ex worked at and picked The Hun up for a night on the town. It was a great night, and the precursor to us going out.

Valentines day two years ago I was frantically putting together a CD of songs that reminded me of our first year together, painstakingly formatting a booklet in Excel containing the lyrics, our photos and a description of what each song meant to me.

Valentines day one years ago I bought too many chocolates to fit into a jar and presented The Hun with four giant glass jars of sweets.

Today I gave The Hun a card, a stuffed grizzly bear, some premium ice cream toppings (with icecream) and a cookbook.

I'm taking the cookbook back tomorrow.

In the time it takes to painstakingly prepare a breakfast of hobo eggs and coffee, a car could drive to the shops and back.

In the time it takes to style hair and brush some teeth, a card could have been selected.

And in the time it takes to take a sh!t, my name could have been written at the top and a heart could have been drawn at the bottom.

Yes, we went to dinner and a movie and we had a lovely time - I offered to pay (after I was the one so determined that if we couldn't make it to dinner on the Wednesday because he wanted to play touch then we should go to dinner the night before - at the same place we've celebrated Valentines Day that we've been together).

But a day of seeing people celebrating being in love - be married, engaged or semi-unwanted attention from a half-stranger, it sucks to feel that you aren't worth the time it takes to walk the log.

So I'm going to share some happiness that I should have gotten today with anyone else that wants it.

I recently replied to this post of Fluffy's and received a CD of awesome from Miss As-a-cat herself. I promptly sent off a mix off songs that were what I thought were kinda cool but actually indicate I'm a softie for heartbreak folksongs with some pop mixed in.

If you email me (EnnyPen@gmail.com) your postal address I will send you a copy of BOTH of these CD's (mebbe also lemme know what name I should put on the envelope so as not to freak out the postie/your parents/your neighbours).

I promise not to stalk you.

No really, I PAHROMISE.

Blarh

Sorry there's been a bit of lack of post atm - I'm off to the coast for three nights tmr.

Sounds nice, eh?

No. It's not.

Magf and I are running a Dan Camp for four of our students (including youngest bro) who are grading to 1st Dan/2nd Dan in another two weekends time. So, we adapted the timetable from the last 3rd Dan Camp we went on in Qld (one of those weekends away where I whine about training 12 hours a day and sleeping only four each night) which means we'll be running them ragged and trying to exhaust them. Shall be interesting.

Anyways, I'm kinda riding the blues train at the moment. I've been mopey for about two weeks, feeling narky at The Hun for nothings (or almost nothings) - I think the whole Japan holiday plan has been canned, work is building up, uni's going to start again, I have bridesmaids stuff to do, I'm getting tired of always being told what to do (being "given advice"), seeing other people happy is making me jaded and twisted and I'm about to turn 25.

25.

I hate it.

It's not even/just the whole thing about where I planned to be at 25 - but I have this terrible feeling of time running out. But for what? Lawd knows what I even want to do/be/see.

Gah.

Back Sun/Mon.