On Valentines day three years ago, I finished work at the Thai restaraunt my stoopid ex worked at and picked The Hun up for a night on the town. It was a great night, and the precursor to us going out.
Valentines day two years ago I was frantically putting together a CD of songs that reminded me of our first year together, painstakingly formatting a booklet in Excel containing the lyrics, our photos and a description of what each song meant to me.
Valentines day one years ago I bought too many chocolates to fit into a jar and presented The Hun with four giant glass jars of sweets.
Today I gave The Hun a card, a stuffed grizzly bear, some premium ice cream toppings (with icecream) and a cookbook.
I'm taking the cookbook back tomorrow.
In the time it takes to painstakingly prepare a breakfast of hobo eggs and coffee, a car could drive to the shops and back.
In the time it takes to style hair and brush some teeth, a card could have been selected.
And in the time it takes to take a sh!t, my name could have been written at the top and a heart could have been drawn at the bottom.
Yes, we went to dinner and a movie and we had a lovely time - I offered to pay (after I was the one so determined that if we couldn't make it to dinner on the Wednesday because he wanted to play touch then we should go to dinner the night before - at the same place we've celebrated Valentines Day that we've been together).
But a day of seeing people celebrating being in love - be married, engaged or semi-unwanted attention from a half-stranger, it sucks to feel that you aren't worth the time it takes to walk the log.
So I'm going to share some happiness that I should have gotten today with anyone else that wants it.
I recently replied to this post of Fluffy's and received a CD of awesome from Miss As-a-cat herself. I promptly sent off a mix off songs that were what I thought were kinda cool but actually indicate I'm a softie for heartbreak folksongs with some pop mixed in.
If you email me (EnnyPen@gmail.com) your postal address I will send you a copy of BOTH of these CD's (mebbe also lemme know what name I should put on the envelope so as not to freak out the postie/your parents/your neighbours).
I promise not to stalk you.
No really, I PAHROMISE.
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7 comments:
Boo! A card would be the least he could do if he knows (and he knows) you love of the Valentines Day.
ergh, i feel your pain. as much as i love my boy (and he's 100 times better than my ex), i wish he was the type of guy who is romantic... goes out of his way to make effort, to make me feel special. but he's just not.
i was having the exact same conversation with a girl from work who's boy is the same.
both of our current guys are great, aren't the f*king assholes we used to date... but both the current guys just dont make the effort. its not to say they dont love us.
one good thing about my ex, is he used to make an effort. one birthday he left me a bunch of clues and sent me on a treasure hunt which ended up taking me to a lush hotel room which we stayed in.
i'm planning to cook a full on dinner for my boy this sat nite, and bought some lingerie (matching bra, gstring, stockings and garter belt) and was planning a romantic evening at home, just the two of us. he knows about the dinner but doesn't know about the lingerie yet.
i thought i might have gotten a card or ANYTHING, but nope.
but i guess i still can't complain. no one is perfect and valentines day is a bit of a crock. i mean why should you act romantic JUST because a day tells you to?
still, it would be nice to have someone go out of their way for you, like you do for them.
I think the main point of Valentines Day is that it's a bit of a reminder to just stop, take a breath and tell someone how much they mean to you. It doesn't have to be about going beserk with presents etc. My boy is as lazy as the rest, so i suggested we take it in turns with Valentines, anniversaries and it would be up to the rostered person if they wanted to organise anything. No pressure, no particular expectations, but that way he knows without a doubt that he cant just rely on me to arrange everything and somehow in his head take the credit, it means he actually has to stop and think about me for a minute and what he alone could do to make me happy, he gets quite enthusiastic about it. I dont care if i get a card/ flowers/ dinner whatever. It can be a hand scrawled note, i just want to see a little evidence now and then that I matter and that he is capable of putting me first every so often!
This is why valentine's day is dumb - it makes us view our squeezes as pathetic lazy boneses when really they're just having a normal day. Bah humbug.
fluffy - that's exactly how I felt!
halliwell - thankyou. And as much as I dislike you calling the lovely girl your 'skank ho', I'm glad you both had a lovely day.
rhiannon - I know what you mean - The Hun is billions times better than the stoopid ex, and I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn't mean he doesn't love me or loves me any less than someone who got a dozen roses... but I think there is some value in being romantic for a day when that's what the day is about - else why is Christmas, Birthdays, Easter, Anniversaries etc any different?
blenny - it's good of you to be strong enough to make that compromise and that he does get enthusiastic - I don't think I'm the only person to feel that if you leave something entirely up to another person, then it's prone to going pear-shaped (as is being demonstrated!). But that's right - I just want to see a little evidence too~!
audrey - it then also makes us look extra nice on their normal day - which should be doubley rewarded if it's not matched on the pre designated day!
Hey chicka, I'm sorry I totally insisted that you retripledouble your efforts and then those efforts went somewhat unrewarded. I can only offer that I do hope you feel good that you put in a really nice and touching effort and that giving is awesome and karmatic and way lovely.
I'm sure that's the last thing you want to hear when you feel ripped off and unspecialised and unloved though.
I might be making myself way totally unpopular on this here website, but I do wonder if the importance you're placing on being treated nice is putting pressure on him and making it seem not lovely and special but expected and forced.
Don't know dude, but I'm sure everyone who knows you thinks you're ace, whether they give you flowers or not.
adam - no no, not YOUR fault! I guess we're kinda stuck somewhere in the middle and always playing 'catch me up' - like 'I did THIS for you and you did nothing' 'Well I do THIS AND THIS for you and YOU do nothing'. So not unpopular at all, but there is truth to it - though in discussions yesterday and last night, he indicated he didn't remember and didn't have time- it wasn't on purpose. So he has indicated he has picked a date that is a suprise to do the card and flowers thing... so we'll see what happens!
Thankyou to everyone who's commented too - and I only have one order for our CD'S! D'jen - I've gotten soooo much stuff from you, it's time to get sum'n back!
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