Monday, June 23, 2008

Whoa baby

I'm getting better with this whole baby holding thing - I've held three babies this year alone! Three!
Excluding when I was younger (I presume I would have held each of the bro's at least once), my efforts this year have tripled those of the past 25 years of my life.
I'm like 300% productive or something of the sort!

So - Baby Pros and Cons:

Size
Portable.
Breakable and losable.

Smell
Lovely baby smell (talc and rainbows).
The OTHER baby small (rot and misery).

Noise
Adorable cooing and laughing and mewing.
Strangling choking rage, worsens as lungs develop.

Attitude
Easily amused, love to be tickled and play stupid games like putting a bib over their face.
Can be cranky for no reason at all.

Output
Again, hooray for chuckles and giggles.
Well, I think EVERYONE knows how gross they can be.

I think I'll stick to just holding the occassional baby - my popcorn for dinner woke me up on and off for two hours this morning with nausea, and I can't say I enjoyed that all.

6 comments:

D'Jen said...

Cons:
* Require feeding often
* Need to be with you ALL THE TIME
* Changing nappies and junk
* They need to sleep all the time
* They cramp your style
* Expensive
* Boring
* Usually ugly
* Helpless
* Needy

Pros:
* They become toddlers
* Most other people like babies - ice breakers

I must say, I am fairly on team "No Babies"

Enny said...

d'jen - true, true, true, that's okay, not always, true, not always, not mine, true and true.

That first pro is a con, though the second one is a goodie. Plus I could say 'on the breast' a lot and see how long it would take for people to snicker!

Sarah said...

My favorite part about holding babies is handing them back to their owner when they start screaming and/or smelling. :P

Enny said...

Sarah - but that's usually when I'm at an increased chance of dropping them!

D'Jen said...

Enny, in that case I would suggest laying it on the floor and walking away quietly :P

Enny said...

d'jen - I think you've just formulated my new plan for me! Babies + Enny = Floor :o)