I'll give you the friend dilemma first, because I was stupid busy today (seriously, division planning days are such a time suck) and wanted to make sure I fully explain myself when chatting to my hairy sisters out there.
More specifically, best friends. Or, best friend.
I don't have one.
I have (on occasion) some hypothetical wedding stuff going on in my head - please, (adam!), don't freak out. This time it is very well controlled and includes discussion with The Hun (rather than diatribe at The Hun) and we do adult things like discuss the importance and talk about our feelings and priorities and numbers and dates. So I have some good reason to be thinking it. And all this hypothetical wedding stuff leads me to thinking about who I would have to assist me. In my head, I have three people who I would have as my collective. But I don't have someone who I
would say is my best friend, a person who would in term pick me as their best friend.
You may be aware that I'm not very good at the one on one conversation thing. Actually, the notion of being alone with one person for a set amount of time sends me into a bit of a freak out - the only person I look forward to one on one time (from a social retardation perspective) is The Hun. The only people who I can handle the prospect of one on one time with are youngest bro, magf and gf2. You may note mumsy and dadsy are not on this list - I am that girl.
I spend a fair amount of time with youngest bro to and from martial arts (less so now that he has his own car), and I would often drag him along shopping with me - he came to have something to do. So I can cope with him, just fine. Obviously, he wouldn't be my maid of honour, but also - he wouldn't pick me as his best friend. And I don't think he'd really qualify to be mine either!
I spend a fair amount of time with magf at martial arts, we share rooms when we go on camps, we go to the gym together and there was stuff we did for her wedding too. I was her maid of honour, so she might seem like a logical choice for my best friend. But, if her other friend weren't
overseas, she would have probably chosen her. And there are things that she says or does that makes me think that no, she's not my best friend. She may be the best one that I have, but she's not really 'best friend', if that makes sense?
I overcame my fear of one on one time with gf2 when we went up to see Regina Spektor in Sydney last year (probably around this time, and probably the last time I also whinged about being friendless!) and I would have said that up until this point that yeah, she is my best friend. But through emails that have been going around over the last week or so (and from earlier ones that I just didn't really think about until now), there is a lot of talk that goes on between gf1 and gf2 that doesn't include me. They know all these things about each other and have had all these discussions that I just didn't know about. They have a lot more in common than I realised. So, I might pick gf2 as my best friend, and gf1 would probably also pick her for her best friend. And gf2 would probably pick gf1 as hers.
Of course, when I relayed all this to The Hun, he told me that he would pick me. And he told me that the fact I said he can't pick me because he is obviously so much my number one that it's not even worth answering is just me trying to upset myself over something that's not really that important.
I know that this is fairly similar to mick's post of a few weeks ago, and I know that at least he feels pretty similar to me.
Do you have one best friend?
Would they pick you as theirs?
Are you single?
Does that make a difference?
Do I need one?
Does it matter?