Friday, April 21, 2006

When bad temps go wild

Today starting out as an OK day and then started it's downhill slide... Over hotdogs today (from Wendys. not the BB guy), the middle techo guy informed me that he and my boss were off to a conference on the Gold Coast later in the year with another random from a different section.

Not fair.

They're MY gang and I don't get to go.


THEN I get my economics test results - 26/40


Clocking closer to 4:30 I was sinking into my funk and getting ready to clock off - work was a lil quiet today and Mondays is bound to be almost dead - when there was an email from some guy in my work inbox, with an intruiging title...

WTF is a wastrel? I pondered, before scanning the email and calling out to my bay and then the next if they knew the face that matched the name. "Oh, you mean Jesus?*" asked middle techo guy - Intrigued yet? Here's the text (my edits is in brackets to maintain the beauty of his efforts - if the writer finds this - email me! - I'll keep you updated on the reaction!):

To: All Staff
Titled: Attention Wastrels

Stop trying to throw out staplers, tape dispensers, and hole punches if they still work.

Stop leaving boxes full of various objects in the (printer rooms) for me to sort out. Remove all the paper and put it in the paper bin. Remove all the stationery and put it with the rest of the spare stationery - there SHOULD be a dedicated spot for it nearby. If there's not, use your initiative, and friggin' CREATE ONE. And the BIN doesn't count.

Stop throwing out envelopes (blah blah work specific rant) OF COURSE YOU CAN! (some more blah blah work specific rants) So why snub the coffee mug?

Stop putting paper in the garbage bin. The paper bin is right next to it, it just takes the tiniest extra effort to lift the lid up. And God knows you need the exercise.

Stop taking the lift when you are capable of taking the stairs. We have to burn coal in order to power those lifts. We should be burning fat instead. I won't be happy till we are powering the whole building with pedal power -which will give us one-hour MANDATORY daily exercise.

Turn your monitor off when you're not using it, for the above reason. You wouldn't want to be pedalling for no reason, would you? So why burn coal for no reason? That just makes EVERYONE puff.

Stop grabbing two paper towels to dry your hands with, especially after you didn't wash them properly to begin with. And if you insist on two towels, then try DRYING your hands properly. Note that this takes a substantial number of seconds. When it comes to your botty, two squares for the first wipe, and one thereafter is sufficient in most cases.

Stop ordering things when there are already plenty of old ones around. This includes in/out trays, cardboard shelfy/filey thingos, and RING BINDERS!!! Pretty much everything you require is here - you don't even have to look hard.

Find a use for all the surplus stock of the above descriptions. If you can't, find someone who can. Messy (Printer Rooms) aren't useful - but neither is landfill.

Catch a bus.



Stop complaining about the price of petrol. It's only going up because you keep using it.
And you do know where plastic comes from, don't you?

Don't let water run unless you're intentionally wetting something.

Waste not want not. Keep it in mind at all times. You are a disgrace otherwise.

It has been a pleasure working with you all.

Any bets a young temp's contract finished today?

Some of that shite is GOLD - "When it comes to your botty" "God knows you need the excercise" "It has been a pleasure" GOLD!!!

Tho I'm feelin a lil bad now for chuckin all those ring binders in the printer room (we were told to clean out all the cupboards and didn't want to chuck them out!)

*Seems 'Mr Cessation' has been letting his hair "grow out" a lil - sleepless nights preparing his farewell?


Boysenberry said...

Enny, if it makes you feel any better, this middle techo (sort of) guy is off to the same conference :)

Enny said...


he sounds like fun!!!

Enny said...

now wait wait wait
are you saying YOU'RE going to the conference!?

*confused and muddled*

Boysenberry said...

Yes, Enny, if it's the conference that's running in late May on the Gold Coast, Boysenberry will be there. :)

Currently trying to find a way of getting Mrs and Miss B to join me for a few days.

Enny said...

Ah - no - August!

Boysenberry said...

Hmmmm, perhaps another opportunity to get my boss to show me how much he wants to keep me... Mwahahahahaha!

Enny said...

There's another one in September or something too!

I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that the HR Consultant will pull out...

Erica said...




That email is priceless! It starts off relatively normally and work related, and then suddenly, BAM! He's talking about botties and coal and pedal powered buildings.

Sadly though, I do agree with a lot of what he is saying about the power and the recycling stuff...I don't think I'd ever email a whole office about it though!

Enny said...

He did have some good points in there, but at 24 and not very experienced, he's a bit young to be blacklisting himself from the PS and a proper reference!!!