Saturday, March 17, 2007

Who, me?

A paragraph in this article struck me:
"Sometimes the tragedy of a relationship is not that it ends, but that it doesn't. Extracting yourself from a domesticated relationship is hard, especially if you move in together. No matter how much you come to hate each other, you will still find yourself sleeping in the same bed and eating cornflakes from the same box unless you make a monumental effort and call a removal van, break the lease, divvy up the spice collection and the CDs and find somewhere new to live."
I could list five people straight off the top of my head that this applies to.

People looking back on their past after realising it too late.

People in the midst of it now.

People who don't yet realise it.

20 comments:

M said...

just goes to show how we are creatures of habit, eh?

DelightfulJen said...

Well, I'm completley unable to comment my experiences in this ('cause I have none), but I have seen it happen to lots of people.

I think it's all about comfort zones, you get stuck doing the things familiar to you, even if you don't even like it anymore, purely because the alternative is too hard and scary.

You know my email address...

Enny said...

m - it does!

d'jen - That's ok - they 'hypotheticals' tag means it's not about me ;o) But I guess it also applies to friendships, working relationships etc too?!

Mick said...

This is so so so true..

But I didn't get any spices.

Lulu said...

I stayed in my first ever serious relationship for at least 6 months too long...and while we weren`t living together...we were definitely spending more time together than is normal.

I knew it had to end when my father pulled the phone out of my hand and I was crying uncontrollably and said to the boy `She`ll speak to you tomorrow` and hung up. It took that for me to realize it was insane what I was doing to myself to try and make it work. That and the fact it was the first time in my life my father had ever interfeared (how do you spell that?) in my personal life.

It is definitely about comfort...and after 2 years realizing you forget how to be alone...and that scares you. You can definitely get too comfortable...

It is definitely true...they really did bang the nail on the head.

Glad its not about you Enny !!!

Cazzie!!! said...

Sad but true, all about comfort.

Enny said...

mick - I'm sure there were plenty of other things... and there's always more than one parsley!

lulu - You gotta hate those moments when they're too late... though at least they did come. It was good of your Dad to intervene when he needed to as well.

cazzie - so much in just one paragraph, isn't it.

Mummy/Crit said...

Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. well kind of. Certainly got ripped off in the divorce settlement. But I did get out.

Enny said...

m'crit - I'm glad you got out then!

Halliwell said...

The paragraph you bring up shows only one side of it.
Why not get out??!!

I put forward the point of winning the war through minor battles.

They both sleep in the same bed and annoy the hell out of each other until one cannot handle it anymore and moves to the couch, victory to the bed holder. ETC....

Boysenberry said...

Been there, done that, and seemingly going back for more...

Halliwell said...

with consistancy in ur little victories like this u'll win the war!!

Enny said...

halliwell - that's no way to live, that's why!

Mr B'b'rry - Maybe you want to join my top five? Unless it's not all that bad :o)

halliwell - NEVER become a counsellor!

martie said...

Me? No. Not Me? Yes, probably. Ok then. Point taken.

DelightfulJen said...

I'm very glad to hear it's not you, Enny :)

I suppose I am a bit used to "hypotethicals" people used to call me about when I worked in insurance. It was almost always the exact situation they were actually in, but didn't want to arouse suspicion about it :D

Enny said...

martie - awwwwww :o)

d'jen - that's entirely understandable - I just don't have a better grouping for the things that I want to talk about for discussion or whatever that aren't directly based on my own experience!

Deb said...

totally OT... you probably already know but just in case you dont... i thought this was a pretty cool resource to have access to:

http://www.veganlunchbox.com/loaf_studio.html

Ps- love the latest post! Adam is such a slack ass :P Can't seem to comment on it though...? (the latest post i mean, not about adam being a slack ass, coz well, ive already commented on that :P)

Enny said...

deb - Thanks, I hadn't actually seen that!

(and I fixed the post - I musta accidentally brock it!)

Susanne said...

I hope this never happens to me. :/

Enny said...

Susanne - don't we all? But, I do hope if it does then I do hope I realise sooner rather than later...