*** Disclaimer - this is one of the ones that people that know the real me should proddly steer away from reading***
On the drive back from Sydney, gf1 and I got talking about my veganism. I was explaining that it's difficult for me to know where to draw the line, as I had just started my Gardasil vaccination and I'm on The Pill and hadn't thought about it until it was brought up on a forum the other day, and she was talking about eating plants and other living things, and would vegans take the morning after pill (her younger sister has recently started work at a chemist).
"You wouldn't believe the number of people that come in and ask for it... she says there's quite often five or six people in a day... Maybe because she is girl and she is young they ask her... there is a special form for them to fill out with a special name... at least she is seeing the consequences of what could happen... though I guess they justify that they might not have been pregnant anyway so it's not like they're really killing a living thing...(gf1sExBestFriend) had one..."
And I couldn't not say something.
"I've had it."
"...Oh... When you were with Stoopid ex?"
"...Well... you weren't ready back then anyway."
Again, another thing I'd never really thought about until it slaps me right in the face.
When I first became 'active' I only used condoms - I have NEVER had unprotected sex -until the time that I was housesitting and experienced a tense 50-something days between periods and decided that enough was enough, and I'd build up the guts to go see the lady doctor (proddly three years after the first time). After I'd already started The Pill, I remember going in to see the doctor on a Thursday or a Friday for a different script and being told that I was to be careful as it would reduce the effectiveness of The Pill. And I remember going to the doctor on the Saturday morning after that to get the morning after pill and being chided for not doing as she had said. It wasn't that I 'couldn't help myself' (as much as I'm sure he'd love to think) but that because I only had one 'level' of protection and that made me very uncomfortable.
I'd never thought of it as an abortion.
I don't know what I'd thought of it as - it had slipped right back in my mind.
It's disheartening to look back and remember the time that I was quite adamant that I would have no issue with abortion. And not quite so far back that I was foolish enough to put myself in a position that there was even a small tiny minute chance of falling pregnant. And not quite so far back before before that that I made a decision so flippantly without even realising until NOW what may actually have been going on.
Not that I wish I had had a baby back then. Not that I regret the decision as such. But that whilst there have been times I've regretted my 'history' (things would be SO much easier now had I waited for The Hun), I've never REALLY realised that I was playing with fire. Until now.
Have you had it?
What did you think at the time?
What do you think now?