Pun worth an audience larger than one

Enny: Twice in two days I've got a stinging main in my mole scar... kinda like Harry Potter!

The Hun: Oh no! Mole-demort!

*tiddy-boom*

Melbourne Weekend Recap

Yet another fantastic weekend in Melbourne - Break it down, homes!

Friday: Got up at 7ish and left at about 8ish for the long drive to Melbourne:

• The Hun napped for an hour then complained he was uncomfortable, so he fashioned a jacket into a pillow and slept for another hour. After that he woke up, complained he was no longer tired and sent the jacked to the back seat before spending an hour with his neck and head jerking annoyingly from side to side as he nodded in and out of sleep for an another hour. I was thiiiiiis close to pushing his head into the window - not in a malicious way, more in an 'I could never keep that rubbish up for that long so quit it before I push it through the window in a malicious way'. He is yet to see the humour with which I lovingly later regaled him the story.

• Dadsy's TomTom does not know of the new road near Albury, so we spent 15 minutes listening to him tell us to "Turn right in 80 metres - Turn right in 45 metres - Turn right - Do a U Turn as soon as you can - Turn right in 80 metres -Turn right in 45 metres - Turn right - Do a U Turn as soon as you can". He trusted us when we turned up in the right place further on.

• There are no Caltex in Wangaratta, although the TomTom might tell you there are two. Do not fall for this as you will end up driving chaotically through the town swearing and gesturing at the windscreen and end up paying for petrol at the same servo that holds the Subway where you had bland salad for lunch. I KNEW I should have organised adiditional petrol cards before we left.

• The Wangaratta Subway-Servo DOES sell diet Solo which is a godsend and not available at any other servo's that I stopped at either way.

• I think I have lost my license - it seems that "Road Safety Camera" is Victoria speak for "Speed Camera" and not code for some kind of road management system. This is further indicated by the disbelief you will see on the faces of Victorians as you relay your story to them, basing your belief of the fact that ACT and NSW fixed cameras give you three warning signs before taking your picture. I believe I got snapped by one in the country, all five on the way into the city, one in the country on the way out and perhaps one near the dinosaur museum in Canberra.

• The Sebel is still by far the best place to stay in Melbourne - I cannot recomend it enough. Our room had a separate bedroomy bit and Fox channels and is in the middle of the city. My entertainment book discount got us the room for $202 per night, including buffet breakfast for two - you will lurve it.

• We made it into Chinatown for dinner, but Spicy Fish (The Cousins recommendation) was full so we had dinner at a place across and down a bit. We went upstairs where it was lovely and cosy (sharing our 6 person table with another couple) and had tofu with veggies and some amazing dish made of green spinach and something else? I also had one of The Hun's veg*n curry puffs (naughty dieter).

• We trammed it to the uni to see the revue but arrived a bit late - I'd written the show started at 8:30, but it started at 8! Adam and Cara met up with us outside and we luckilly snagged four seats together at the back and settled in to enjoy the show, which I think was actually the funniest one we've seen yet - perhaps I'm getting more used to the people involved and the way it all works?! The highlight was The Cousin managing to get the word 'snood' into one of the jokes at which I squealed like I'd been bitten - I told her I'd call out if I heard it, but it wasn't the kind of noise I was hoping for - unfortunately I couldn't take it back! I also had The Hun a bit worried, leaning over to ask if I was ok. There were some really hilarious bits in there - one in particular where I laughed overly louder than anyone else in the theatre, but I can't for the LIFE of me remember what it was!
  

• Catching up with Adam again was great and it was fantastic to meet Cara - she is so funny! We headed out to the Queensberry expecting a bit of a quiet night - Erica and Mars messaged to pike during the show, and Rosanna was to meet up with us there. Rosanna arrived just after we got our first drinks and left just after we finished our second (we left not long after that as Cara had another big day on the Saturday). It was good to put more of a personality to a face, particularly as the beer spilt all over the table and her lovely skirt (which I'm sure they'll be able to save) - although it was brief it was good to meet her and perhaps as good for her to meet us! Very exciting.

Saturday: Slept in a bit and then:

• Wandered to Haighs to pick up my Melbourne musthaves - Dark Mint Chocolate Frogs and Dark Chocolate covered raisins. I find it so heartbreakingly beautiful that their dark chocolate is vegan and doesn't taste like pure cocoa! Rosanna has kindly offered to mail me down some and I cannot wait - The Hun has already started into my frogs and I'm planning to hide them from myself until November.

• I lead The Hun down to Spencer St to the brand new DFO (I used my wiley feminine charms to get him down there) where I bought a lovely blue, aqua and pink Fila zip jumper for $35 from $70. There were a few jibes about the amount of sportswear I own in comparison to the amount of sports I actually DO, but I love my jumper - add a zipper and a sparkly detail near the pocket and I will buy Buy BUY!

• The Cousin picked us up from the hotel to take us to Collingwood where I witnessed my first domestic abuse encounter - a woman beat her partner(?) around the head, knocking his sunglasses off as she yelled "I didn't look at him!" - by the time we were out of the car they'd dissapeared, but he never moved to strike her (though you gotta wonder...).

• We had lunch at Soul Food Cafe and Oh. My. God. I wanted EVERYTHING on the menu but was a good girl and had the asian greens salad. That came with a delicious piece of bread I was not going to share with anyone. And of course I HAD to try the vegan chocolate cake - do you know how long it's been since I've had chocolate cake?! It was totally divine, served with warmed vegan custard. Not particularly suitable for Tony Ferguson, but I do not regret it one bit.

• We trammed towards the Telstra Dome and stalked around the Docklands looking for the Human Body Exhibition which we just could not find. I think we did burn off that cake though.

• That night I took The Hun out to the AFL - Swans vs Collingwood! We'd ummed and ahhed about going to this, figuring it'd be too expensive and soldout - that just demonstrated our Canberraness. It cost less than $40 to get in and it was really fantastic! I picked up the rules better than I thought I would - even with 3 Skyy vodka's and sitting 8 rows from the very very very back. It was a bit disheartening to find that you couldn't even get a salad sandwhich, so I had a packet of Thins for dinner - after my 1kg loss last week, this week may be an interesting one.
  

Sunday: The long drive home:

• We left at about 10:30 and arrived home just before 7:30pm. The only thing of note being the potential Canberra speeding ticket I may have picked up on some unfamiliar road.

I think what suprised me most this time was how much I fell in love with the city. It must have been like my fifth trip down there, but this was the first time I was looking at it practically, looking at it like "I want to live here". Now, I have to convince The Hun to start applying for work there...

Next year is The Cousin's last performance - can't wait till I'm down south again!

Blog Meet - How Sweet!

If it's not enough that I'm off to Melbourne tmr to meet up with the amusing Adam, radiant Rosanna, entertaining Erica and marvelous Mars, I'm also talking plans to meet up with TokenWoman in Canberra and Deb in Canberra or Sydney. Also, that work training I was meant to be running seems to be back on the agenda for the end of this year/start of next year.

And did I not mention there's another Canberra blogmeet in the works?!

Mr Aurelius is new/back on the Canberra scene and would love a bit of a shindig - details as follows:

Date: Friday 31 August
Time: 7pm
Location: Wig & Pen

Do hope to see you there, Canberra folk!

Sorry about the dead air

I was just having a bit of a busy bit.

Here's my apology in the form of dot points:

• I lost 2.8kg last week!

• The Hun is watching "The last king of of Scotland" - have you seen it? It's quite difficult to watch as the guy makes all these stupid mistakes.

• I went to cardio-boxing class tonight and didn't think I was going to die! The Hun reckons it's partly mental, but I'm not entirely convinced.

• We took dadsy in to get a tattoo for his 50th birthday - the same as my second tattoo and the same as youngest bro's tattoo. The tat guy turned up 28 minutes after the appointment time, had he been 2 minutes later we were about to walk and I would have lost by $50 deposit (dadsy is a stickler for customer service). He took like 6 attempts to get the transfer on right and I thought he was going to have some sort of meth-fit, but it all turned out good in the end. Dadsy's font is actually larger than youngest bro's, but it cost the same - so I guess we got a good deal out of it. That said, my tattoo artist left there to go to Noosa so I don't think I'll go back to that same place again. And for those of you who would like another view on how tattoo's feel, whilst I liken it to an Emjoi, dadsy likened it to a rat gnawing off his leg.

• Speaking of tattoos where I ever to finally get my purple star tattoo below my little toe, these would be the perfect shoes to show it off:

(You can buy them from here if you'd like to buy them for me!)

• I had a bit of a freakout about uni on Sunday night - a result of procrastinating just that biiiiit too much on an assessment piece. I am learning to learn and not freak out too much, but I am just. so. over. study.

• Something else I'm a big fan of? The Butler Bag! I told mumsy about it, because I knew it was the type of thing she'd be right into. I think I would quite like one, but they aren't synthetic (that I can see) and I'm unsure reather I'm ready to give up my Guess fetish... mumsy however is waiting for the premium leather version *groan*. Here's a pic for those who can't be bothered to click through:

• I went to a baby shower on Sunday and didn't get that clucky! It was cute to see Mrs Batman with her son, and good to see the mum-to-be looking so radiant (she is normally very, very thin) but I had no urge to go make a sprog.
  

• I bought a new cookbook:

• Now - don't roll your eyes! It actually makes the interesting point that many people recoil at the mention of tofu, and that a large of that is due to it not having been cooked for them as they grew up. This book is about way to incorporate tofu into your diet without having to get all weird and hippyish. I must admit, as soon as this diet is over I am all over the spanakopita and spinach-in-hollowed-bread dip. MMMMM.

• I don't think I have anything else for you at this stage - shower and bedtime for me!

Melbourne wahey!

I best be getting my organising hat on, eh?

Next Friday The Hun and I are driving down to Melbourne. That night we will take in a show of the comedy persuasion with Mr Adam and Ms ARC, and we will then be hoping to p!ss it up.

Anyone else interested?

(Please note, I'm looking at you Erica & Ben, you Rosanna and you miss Mars).

Interested? Send me an email!

EnnyPen (at) gmail (dot) com

We'll then hafta do some sorta dialogue thing with the planning and whatevs.

PS - Feeling guh-REAT!

PPS - My celery and tomatoes smell like toast.

PPPS - Mmmmm toast ;wah;

Diet blogging - more info

It appears TokenWoman and I have more in common than both just being absolutely fabulous - we're both doing the Tony Ferguson diet.

The basics are that you have a meal replacement shake for breakfast and lunch, a piece of low GI fruit for morning tea and afternoon tea, a certain amount of protein at dinner, at least 2 litres of water a day and as much as of the selected salads and veggies as you like . There are also certain bonuses you are allowed, such as a certain number of particular sweets, as much diet jelly as you like (no go for the vegan) and the ability to swap a piece of fruit for a portion of one of their chocolate bars or a glass of dry white wine. And no caffeine.

First things first - the reason for my lack of specifics in the last post. My old boss has been doing this for a few months and dropped almost 15 kilos - we both saw it advertised around Chirstmas time but it was a no go for me, being dairy based shakes. Earlier this year she advised that they were brining out soy shakes and after many weeks of nagging them and emailing them and dropping into the storefronts, I was finally able to go down and register with dadsy for my soy shakes. They ran us through the program (paying specific attention to what I could and couldn't eat as a vegan) and sent us on our way.

It wasn't until I got home that, after seeing them advertised as 'low lactose' shakes, I saw that the shake contained milk protein. I was gutted. And you can imagine what type of state I was in - ready to finally start (being urged on by seeing I am borderline overweight and that my 'perimeter' is a number that is higher than the number that indicates increased health risks and potential diabetes) and not being able to start.

Finally, I got more answers via email and the forum (which is a hellmaze absolutely COVERED in flashing jpgs, half-nekkid pics, charts and figures) that the product is produced on the same equipment as the non-soy shakes (machinery washed in between) so the product is the same as those 'may contain traces of dairy' products. Which I am fine with. Any vegan police wanna take it up with me, go find something better to do with your time.

So anyway, I'm doing okay. Both of my choices of shake flavor are good (not totally awesome, but good) and I'm enjoying my allocated sweets.

I can't say I'm enjoying the fibre powder because something about psylium husks sets my gag reflex to high - the only way I'm managing it is by using less water in my lunch shake and eating it like a cold custard. Which, again, isn't totally awesome (I always HATED custard!) but at least it's better than 'drinking' it. I should point out that the fibre isn't a necessary part of the diet, but I'm not a very, erm, 'regular' lass, so I figure I should take all the help I can get. There's also chromium tablets for 'taking the edge off' which I have one a day of but fear getting addicted to because it has a hardcore name and anything that 'takes the edge off' sounds totally addictive.

I haven't felt too much an urge for potato chips - I'm begining to realise they're not an 'everyday' food (as stupid as that sounds). However, the less we linger on thinking about hot turkish bread coated in nuttelex, the better.

I am enjoying eating so many fruits and veggies - more in the last 3 days than what I've had in the last 3 months, I'm sure. And yes, I realise that that is a really bad thing, but I'm choosing to look forward and look at it as a really good thing. According to The Hun, the stirfry I knocked up the other night was one of the best meals I've ever cooked - I guess I've tortured him enough with my dodgy excuses for dinners and it's about time he got to eat healthy again (he bulks his meals up with rice and bread. And cornetto's!).

So whilst I have my concerns about maintaining weightloss at the end of this (as with every diet), I do think that this is a step in the right direction - learning to appreciate a good nutritious meal, rather than craving the one that is high fat and high carb because 'I deserve it'. What I deserve is to reward my body by keeping it in good shape.

However - the detox? Is killing me. Caffeine must have me good and firm because I spend a lot of time feeling queasy, feeling fatigued, hot flushy and a constant headache (this proddly helps explain my lack of wanting chips or redeye - I just couldn't stomach it!). I left uni early yesterday for a half hour nap and left work at 3:30 today for a 2 hour sleep, just to try to be rid of this headache - I've had 6 nurofen today, of which 2 were migraine strength - it's still here.

Hopefully I'm in ketosis soon and my body stops being such a b!tch about it all.

First weigh in on Saturday *fingers crossed*

I promise to come up with something not diet related before then! Stick with me, buddies!

Diet blogging

The time has come again for me to realise I've been living too much of the misery chip life and need to get my sh!t together.

As of 8 minutes ago, I've started a diet with dadsy. I'm right on the borderline of healthy and overweight, and I plan to lose 12 kilos. Hooray.

I've proddly put on a bit more than 5kg since we came back from OS, and at that stage I was 5kg or so heavier than what I wanted to be. I decided I would start a diet as soon as I found one that would work for me, and I kinda did. I can't say it's entirely what I want, but I'm hoping to work with the people to get it to exactly what I want. I also don't want to go into it too much here, but you'll get gists because I have a hard time keeping these things to myself.

I want to succeed.

I want to be in control.

I want to be happy to move, happy with how I look and happy with how I feel.

I want to not centre my thoughts on the next opportunity I'll have to eat 'bad' fod.

I want to not go to bed feeling queasy, spend a day feeling queasy and stop snacking on bad things just because I can.

I want to not feel guilt about what I'm eating, what I will eat and I what I have eating.

I want to stop pointing out my flaws for everyone for some sort of pennance - it doesn't make me feel better, it only makes me feel worse.

So, here's to weightloss - for seeing that I have now crossed that line I've been building up to over the last few weeks where I've sugar, fat and carb loaded as much as I could because I knew this time was coming.

Here's to feeling sexy for summer, ladies and gents!

My Pa's car

I never remember him driving it, but the Kingswood always sat in the second garage, under the awning on which my fathers childhood scooter hung. The scooter is now in my parents garage, after one of my brothers thoughtfully retrieved and restored it as a Christmas gift. Bright blue scooter with yellow rims, the handles bars a modern gooey substance but the only ones they could find that that had the same rainbow streamers as his childhood.

The first garage contained rusty barrels, almost as tall as we were, one filled with wheat and the other with chook pellets. Sometimes when we were all sent out the back to play, we'd stick our arms into the barrel of wheat, deep up to our shoulders. I still remember the feeling of the wheat between my fingers, the way it would fall from your hands as you raised them up and the way we would try to see how much we could keep balanced on our arms.

When we weren't in the first shed we would be by the large tree through the gate. Fred the cockatoo lived there for as long as he remembered, after being taken from the nest out the front of the printing shop where my father worked as an apprentice. Fred had a voice for children, imitating their laugh and asking their name, and an adults voice - used for chiding the dog in an imitation of my Pa. "Get out of here you mongrel". Fred passed a few years ago, after eating a thistle that had been lovingly handpicked for him, my aunt unaware it had been sprayed with weedkill.

Next to Fred's tree was a bush with bright pink flowers which we were warned to not even touch the leaves of. The whole tree was poisonous and dangerous - the kennel of my dads puppy Timmy lay abandoned underneath. I'm unsure whether Timmy died from eating the plant or if I just have the two memories confused, but I know neither he nor my father were very old at the time.

I don't remember my Pa ever driving the car, but I'm told he had an accident and was no longer allowed to drive. It was something my mother once mentioned in a hushed voice - concern for my Pa, but concern for those who could have otherwise been injured. At some point in time the car transitioned to being driven by another aunt who would look after us after school. She would eat chocolate and then get a migraine and chide us to be quiet, but we never would. We would draw anti-smoking propaganda signs and stick them on the glass door and play her songs on the keyboard that we thought she would like. I used to play The Rose for her and sing so quietly under my breath.

I remember sitting in the car while my aunt drove, but I can't remember where we would have been going. One time we went to the nearby shopping centre and I saw a dress for $4 that I wanted but couldn't afford. Eventually I wore her down and she took me back down there and gave me the money I was short - I only wore the dress once, for a Santa photo my mother made us get when I was in year eight. I often thought that way, that I could get my own way if I just tried hard enough. My parents had a friend who owned a Persian rug store who, whilst my parents were paying for two handpulled rugs, called me back into the shop and asked me which was my favourite of two small tugs - he had seen me admiring them and thought I should have one. The free gift rug sits on the floor of my study and I wonder if he or my parents really knew that I wanted it, that I was looking at it so intently because I wanted him to give it to me for free.

The seats of the car had giant coils that you could feel through your legs, causing you to bounce around jovially, even over the smallest of bumps. You would stick to the seats in summer until you peeled your legs off, unclacking the seatbelts that had no tension left in the cloth, but a summer of heat in the shiny metal clips.

My aunt passed the car down to her son, who sold it for his own gain. I don't remember seeing any evidence of it, but I remember hearing how much this upset my Pa. I remember thinking I would never have done that to him.

I wonder where his car is now.

You're my idol!

Breaking it down, raspberry cruiser style!

• Idol is back! So excited - although I struggle with the first few weeks - I don't like the way they focus on 'bad' people, I hate seeing them made fun of - it's just so painful. Still, I try to soldier through, because you often get to see the future finalists and can pick them early on. (and yes, I tend to get a bit too involved in it all, but I'm allowed the occassional vice (redeye, cruisers, misery chips, bad reality television)). It's also great because the finale tends to coincide with the warmer weather that I am hanging out all over the place for.

• I went to see The Simpsons movie today! How was it? Couldn't tell you! Dadsy and I rocked up at about 2 for the 2:15 show, but the line was out the door, so we decided we try again for the 3:15 and pop out to pick up some wine and shaving cream (hopefully he's not intending to use both at the same time). We got to the counter 30 minutes early, only to find out that the projecter blew up in the 1:15 session (the lines were people queing for the 2:15 session as well as the 1:15 people getting refunds) so I bought my popcorn and drink pack, dadsy bought some maltesers for mumsy who was stuck at home doing an essay and I went back to the gowrie house to watch some Monty Python! Was still a good day, but I'm also hanging out all over the place to see it.

• The Hun's good friend whose wedding spoiled my Qld trip plans was down at the end of last week (the couple live in Sydney) and all the groomsmen went out to help choose a suit for the groom-to-be. The issue that threw a spanner into the works was that the bride-to-be casually mentioned to the groom-to-be that he should look at morning suits (ie "you best be getting your sweet self a morning suit for our big day") and the crazy sales man at the shop only had one "morning suit" - it was a black jacket teamed with grey pants that had hand drawn looking black stripes on them. Not only that - the "morning suit" jacket was actually a formal tails jacket with the cropped front and the salesman kept insisting that it was in fact a morning suit and should only be worn after 5pm. The wedding is at 4:30pm and a morning suit should only be worn in the MORNING, hence the name. So now the groom may be hiring a fugly formal tails suit rather than a spiffy morning suit.

• I am on the look out for sexicute shoes to wear to the upcoming weddings - there is the one mentioned above as well as one the week before. My action plan is to buy one dress but two pairs of shoes with two sets of accessories. As a result, I am obsessively stalking this site and this site and this site - mainly to maintain my sense of what is cute.

• We saw 'Walk the Line' last night after having it around the house for while - I'm glad we did finally get to see it, but was very upset that they didn't get Jonathon Rhys Meyers to play young Elvis for the brief appearances. He is the only notactuallyElvis Elvis for me. See:

More importantly, you should see this:

• I'm a bit torn about what to do with my hair - like obviously I should do SOMETHING with it, as the second to last time it was touched by a professional was the start of March (the last time was when it was styled for Magf's wedding) and my blondeish roots are all growing out. Whilst we were watching the movie last night, there was a moment where I was thunderbolted by how perfect Reese's hair looked, so I think I'm going to grow it a bit longer with a bit of layering. I will be making an appointment to get a trim, my foils touched up (hopefully caramel as apposed to the yellow-white blonde they seem to be fond of putting on my head) and a funkyish sideswept fringe - perhaps a bright red streak or two (oh yeah - I am STILL about about the teenage rebellion). Mebbe next weekend?

• Did you know that Andrew G is a vegan? I didn't.

• Karma is an 'interesting' thing (I'm hesitant to say awesome because then it will bite me back in the ass) - my stupid ex has been dealing with one of dadsy's best friends on a business venture after I introduced them shortly before our breakup (I didn't find this out until some time in the last 12 months or so). Seems that the stoopid ex managed to convince dadsy's friend to sell him a large share of the business but then had to go O/S for his 'official' job leaving his half brother in charge of the business - the half brother hasn't done any of the stuff he was supposed to. Now dadsy's friend's reputation is being dragged down by it and he is NOT someone you want to mess with... interesting.

• I'm joining the Harry Potter craze - thus far I have read the first two paragraphs of the first book. I foresee a long road ahead.
  

• Time to go - my samosas are done!
  

LG15 Season Finale!

ZOMG - did you guys catch it?

If you don't follow it - this may not be all that interesting.

If you do follow it - make sure you watch it and come back and let me know what you thought!

I've seen all of the videos, but as of late have been a bit meh about it all. Sarah was really giving me the sh!ts. I didn't like the all-white outfit videos. Spencer was like Garth from Wayne's World but just annoying.

My thoughts on the finale: Nailbiting amazing. Although, I tarded it all up and accidentally watched the 12th one first and thought they were being arty and showing the end before the beginning. I'm also glad I didn't check the site before all 12 were up or I would have gone MENTAL.

I also discovered that, much like when reading a book, I have a habit of missing important plot links. Like that the Hymn of One and The Order were different? That the ceremony wasn't just held out in a field and actually meant being transferred to a hospital and just dying? How is that religion?

Would love to hear thoughts - Am off to check out the other show they're running now (Kate someone?!) and lurk the forums for answers.

I like to practice my 'Next Top Model' walk any time I'm walking and have my iPod on...

... do you?