Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Putting the bounce in/taking the bounce out of my step

(This was more exciting when it happened, but I was too busy at the time)

(Oh yeah, and it's about boobs, so may not be for everyone)

(and not in a pervy way either, perves).

I got fitted for a bra the other week - I've wanted one of those U bras (below) since I saw them on the news and figured bridesmaiding was as good an excuse as any to invest in one

(not me)

"What size would you like?" asked the perky assistant.

"Well, I figured I should probably get fitted..." I replied.

Fitting has long been something I've been wary of, picturing having to flop my boobs out for a judgemental young thing, or a prissy older lady - what if it was cold in there, how would I explain that?

But luckily, to your relief I'm sure, it's all conducted over the top of the clothing.

"What size do you normally wear?" she asked.

"Um, a 14C or a 16D." I replied, again.

You see, I was a 10A for quite some time. And when my metabolism finally slowed and I got into vodka and $2 chips at the uni bar, I needed to upgrade a bit - moving through a 12B to a 14C - figuring that it was the natural progression (+1 size, +1 cup). When the 14C gave me too much double boob, I upgraded to a 16D and found myself in the sad position of wearing the same size bra as my mother (no, I didn't ask her - I saw the labels).

Post WeightWatchers, I was glad to be back in the 14C's (the upper limit of the cute bras you can get on sale at Target and Kmart) and using the 16D's for sensible under work wear.

"Hrm" mused the assistant "don't you find your bras dropping down at the back? As soon as you said 16 I figured that wasn't right - you're actually a size 12."

"Hey wow! That's great!" was my reply - such a relief to know what I may never have technically been a size 14 or 16 around the ribs - the skinniest part of my middle.

"And you're a DD to an E cup actually."

"Really?! That's fantastic!".

You see - I just have big boobs, not fat boobs! And DD to E?! Off a size 12?! Awesome!

Sure, there's a downside - I had to pay $70 just for a convertible bra and a sports bra... the convertible bra looks heavy duty... the entire sports bra range were mesh cupped (just because they're big doesn't mean they're going to sweat so profusely that they can't be covered in normal material!)... I've had to ease myself into wearing the new bra as it started to constrict my breathing... my boobs seem to be strapped to me rather than sitting proudly out front...

BUT! You would not believe how great I feel about it! I don't know what it is, but I have spent a LOT of time in the mirror with my hardcore binding on, grinning proudly at myself - a glint of "look what I did!" in my eye, like I accomplished something... bizarre or normal?


Fluffy said...

ahh the old double boob...

good to hear you've got those mams under control. yay for getting fitted! grown ups should do it at least every 5 years i think.

so did you get DD or E bras in the end?

Enny said...

fluffy - it feels better! I got the DD as that's what size the lady ordered the U bra in, tho I might try an E soon, just for fun!

Amanda said...

Welcome to the world of expensive bra buying! It seems more and more people are popping up, it's nice to not be lonely over here in big boob land! I would have been totally stoked if someone said I was a size 12. I've come to terms with the whole cup size thing now though.

Did your CDs arrive yet? Even people in other countries got theirs...

DelightfulJen said...

Welcome to the world of the single most difficult sized bra to find, EVER!!

I was a 12DD in highschool *sighs wistfully* and it was SO impossible to find any on the rack, regardless of high or low end shops, they mst make like one every 6 months or something.

Hooray for getting fitted though, it makes a big difference. Super hooray for a good sports bra, I love the feeling of being constricted because it means you can actually use two hands when you are leaping around and not have one holding your chest in place :D

Mars said...

ooh i'm scared to get fitted. they reckon (dunno who) that once you get fitted properly your clothes look and fit better or some shit. probably makes sense. but no, i think i'll just fit myself.. can't be that hard..???

RandomGit said...

Given the utility of a bra being so intertwined with it's fashion function, you can see whay a professionals advice and an exe peice of kit is so important. but what an improvement eh?

PS. I know I'm a bloke, but the wife going through breastfeeding three kids means we've agonsied over the hows and whys of expensive bras a lot in the past five years. I swear it's not a pervy cross dressing thing!

Adam said...

Does this mean you've been a hottie for years and didn't even know it?

Enny said...

amanda - no CD yet! do you still have the address you sent it to so I can check it's the right one? Else I'm going to prowl the driveway looking for mail stealing scrubbo kids hanging around... and thanks for having me!

d'jen - I've heard 10DD is just that much tricker - and I imagine if I dared ventured to an E it'd be worse too... not that it's easy at all! HIGHSCHOOL?! DAYUM WOMAN! ;o) I'm lazy and haven't tried the sports one, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to it (if only there were a gut bra so I wouldn't have to hold my singlet down too!).

mars - it definitely improves posture, I'll give it that much! Also, it may have been more due to the fact I was wearing an animal liberation shirt to work, but I got a share of cheeky peeks today... I say bite the bullet - my one attempt at fitting myself came out at 18B...!!

r'git - your manly words are accepted in a perve free manner :o)

adam - BINGO!

Halliwell said...

Yeah it's fucked..
When I went shopping for my girl i was asked the same question.
As the words 10 E exited my mouth she was already off walking, so i followed her, past all the nice sexy ones with lots and lots of lace and multi colours, I was overwhelmed by the range...
Then we hit the smallest section is the shop, minimal colours still sexy but they just don't have the AWE factor of the C cuppers.

I ended up with a kinda bright blue half cut cup thingo, she says she likes it and loves the colour which is the main thing.

u must have been burning through bra's like no tomorrow, i mean they would strech then the latches couldn't go tight enough yeah?!

Halliwell said...

post a pic of the 'new' bras.. while being worn preffered..
you can put those smiley faces over ur face to conceal your identy.

Amanda said...

Hmmpphhh... its entirely possible that I screwed up the address. Even though until this year I'd never stuffed up an address, I've already done it once this year, so its entirely possible I've done it again. I'll find the address at home, then check with you on Tuesday when I'm back at work. If you haven't got it, I'll send it again.

Or it could be the mail stealing kiddies.

kranki said...

How is it that breasts pop up and today is the day I check back on your site? Do I have a sixth sense?

Okay I have a real question. Are your bra sizes the same as ours? Because E is um... E is very, very... it's an "E." It must make it harder to kick a boy in the head with a roundhouse.

Do women secretly like when men gape, gaze, ogle and google their flotation gear? It's hard to get a believable answer.

DelightfulJen said...

Yes, highschool, I remember being fitted in about Year 11 and that's what it was because it was so FECKING difficult to buy bras.

I was an early bloomer, lets say :) I think I was like a B in Year Seven. It SUCKS.

P.S You could try one of those corset type bras to squash your belly , but I don't think they make them for sports, I believe they are more for...play :D

Mummy/Crit said...

I'm liking the look of that U-bra, it might work on me. I got those floppy post-baby boobs really badly, so they're still big, but kind of National Geographic...most other hold-them-all-together bras don't work for me. Good to read a lost about boobs though. Thanks.

Enny said...

halliwell - if you have a 10E gf, then you have no need for my cleavage!

amanda - I checked the mail again and it's still not there... I've got my shifty eyes set to maximum shiftiness for these shifty neighbours!

kranki - the answer must be yes! And I believe the cups are the same, although you guys have sizes in the 30s (32DD?!) and our size 6 is like your size 0 and don't get me started on your use of 'bangs' and 'bust' that I always used to mix up... and I'd say that yes, there is some pride is a cheeky peek, but I've never been given the full on stare (though I imagine it to be unsettling!)

d'jen - at least you got fitted early - I'm preaching to the converted (or the pioneers, even!). And I am all for belly squishy corsetty types... if I had a good reason to buy one - like a girly slumber party (kidding!!!)

m'crit - I still haven't worn it! When I did try it under the dress without the straps the edges kinda poked up like elves ears - I'll hafta buy a party top and give them a go (I did't think you looked N'Geographic at all!) :o)

DelightfulJen said...

Dude, you can't talk about being a DD cup and then joke about wearing a corest bra to a girly sleepover, the Internetz will explode :D Don't you know the Internetz is made of boys (most of whom dream about girly sleepovers)?!

Enny said...

d'jen - I know, I know - it was a late night!

Susanne said...

Wow! That reminds me of how Jessica Simpson's dad said she's as sexy in a t-shirt as she is in a corset: "She's got double D's! You can't cover those suckers up." That coming from her dad. Ew!

Enny said...

susanne - EWW! I think I'd heard that and I knew ppl thought he was creepy... but still, EWW!