ChickyBabe says...

Whilst over at ChickyBabes place, I read her post asking if you've ever regretted letting go of a same sex friendship.

I was going to comment, but realised that it might take up too much room (not a lot, just a little bit more than I'd like to!).

I met her through an ex. He was involved in a lot of car stuff, and she had just bought a sporty new 200sx. She brought her car round to where we were meeting, invited by a guy I didn't trust with a gf of the same name as me. She was thin, pretty, friendly, confident and everything that I wasn't. She must've known I was wary, but she still put in a constant effot, ignoring my not-so-sublte 'tood against her until I started to relax a little.

That night she hooked up with the guy I didn't trust with a gf of the same name as me.

And while I was sititing back all smirky, she came up to me and confessed to what she'd done and apologised and couldn't understand what she'd done and decided she'd go home but we'd keep in touch.

And we did.

My friendship with her has been my most unexplainable. She was everything that I wanted to be and everything I resented in 'those types of people'. She was always out, always followed by gaggles of guys, always looked fantastic and always partied hard.

She had a job out near the airport and we were in constact email contact. She was my rock and my sounding board during a very painful, confusing and conflicting breakup period - she was the perfect friend - sympathetic, understanding, helpful and always there without it ever being about her. It was during this time that I got to see the other side of her, the vulnerable side of her, the hurt side of her and the real side of her.

And when her family upped and moved to the USA - she sold me that car.

And then all of a sudden she was back!

In that time I'd finally snagged me The Hun and was about 10 kilos heaver. She'd moved into a trendy little place with some of her trendy friends. And I witnessed a gaggle of girlies dealing drugs out of their home to all these strange guys.

Now I'm the first to admit I was fairly sheltered and I'm fairly reserved. I mean, I'll swear and make dirty sex jokes and butt jokes and crap jokes and filth, Filth, FILTH; but you show me someone with drugs and I turn into the nasty aunty. I'm terrible, I hate it and you'll feel my wrath. I'll sulk, I'll yell, I'll snap, I'll cry, I'll pout, I'll ignore you and I'll do generally everything I can to act like a pouty 2 year old to show you my dissaproval.

So to see her doing that, was just to much for me. I upped it and outted it, saying I couldn't make it out on the town with them that night. And that was the last I heard from her. Whilst she had been so strong for me, she was lost to me in that moment. Something that started so unexpectedly was over just as quickly.

Scan forward a year or so later, and I got an email from her. I wasn't sure if it was meant for me, as she was writing in a fairly friendly manner, like a good friend to a good friend, and seeing as I hadn't heard from her since then, I just figured it was a mistake and ignored it. A few weeks later I got another one, and decided to answer. And now we email back and forth every week or so - granted, it's still a bit of a getting-to-know-you-again type thang but it's still nice to quasi have her back again.

She's the only one I've almost given up on, and I really hope that it keeps on.

And that's why I couldn't just stick it in the comments!