Metallica: Some Kind of (loving and thoughtful) Monster (Now With Feelings!)

I was up past 1am last night watching Some Kind of Monster with The Hun last night - a rock-doc(o) lasting round 2.5 hours + another good hour or so of bonus features... (Side Note: I'd give it one thumb up and one thumb sideways- I like the 'snooping on rockstars' element of it, but my eyes were begining to loll around in the back of my head after the two hour mark...)


I'll be the first to admit that I know very little about Metallica - I mean, I was kinda interested for about a month in year 11 because one of my guy-friends was like totally in love with them and he was able to like draw that fancy 3D type band logo and you'd find it like all over the school and his motto in the yearbook was 'Tools Cool but Metallica Rule' and he gave me some like tapes that I've still got like five years later you ask him now and he reckons he didn't really like them THAT much...

But I digress.

I want to marry Kirk Hammett *Sighing and melting into a puddle of lust*

Yup - I don't want the alpha male with big, meaty, rugby type noggin that I'm normally strangely drawn to...

You can keep the angry drummer who spends all his time in his silky boxer shorts and wife-beater, rolling his eyes and chucking a tanty when no one tells him 'bout the Hawiaan Shirt Party for my beatiful brithday boy...

Help yourself to any of the bass players (I think there is like four in the film?! Tho the one they get at the end does have sexy hair) ...

Watch as the other men strut around like the Little Engine That Could And Did And Will F&*% You Up Hardcore Mother f&*% If You Say That He Couldn't, then be delighted as the film moves straight to footage of Kirk on his ranch, riding a black pony in a pink shirt and cowboy hat (Kirk, not the horse!).

Admire his lovely low-necked shirts with floral motifs and flowing permed locks (that in some shots look a lot like hair plugs...).

Maybe it's the way he describes himself as the example of 'no ego'... Maybe it's the way he seems to have learnt oh-so-much from the oh-so stylish therapist or maybe it's the way he suggests thrashin out the music instead of thrashing out each other... But I'm totally heart-ing the 'Behind The Scenes' Kirk (i'm not so big on the 'On The Stage' Kirk)

Kirk - I soo shoulda researched you more in high-school, I coulda totally turned goth rock chick just for you. I felt your pain when the other meanies wanted to cut your solos and told you that you were too... I don't remember, something nasty....

Mind you, I also felt the pain of the Poor Ol Doc when he was being told that he wasn't really 'part of the band' and that they would be 'ending the contract' when 'the clients decided it was Time-Out'.

And I'll be damned if Bob Rock (Producer/Bass Player/Hair Flipper) looks alarmingly like Queer-Guy Carson?

P.S Did you know that the lead singer of Air Supply was a guy?! Yeah, in that "Without You" song?! Me neither!!