tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post51268618906103772..comments2023-10-31T01:25:35.870+11:00Comments on Welcome to the Enny-Pen: Yes I'm home earlyEnnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15613379734506337694noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-81653127956204608252007-02-06T22:36:00.000+11:002007-02-06T22:36:00.000+11:00lol - no stress! =o)lol - no stress! =o)Ennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15613379734506337694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-11406045790442903512007-02-06T09:24:00.000+11:002007-02-06T09:24:00.000+11:00The link to http://enny-pen.blogspot.com/2007/01/n...The link to http://enny-pen.blogspot.com/2007/01/new-fame.html doesn't work. You can get there the long way! Thanx.<br /><br />If people want to blog or link "Psychologist and radio personality Dr Laura Schlessinger" perhaps proof of this statement would help legitimate, sincere readers and bloggers.I do not want to pass on misinformation, I hope you understand, and will be thorough. I make mistakes, and welcome sincere, legit correction. I also like to be aware of blogs with integrity. Thank you! lolAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-41585433259026119462007-01-21T15:00:00.000+11:002007-01-21T15:00:00.000+11:00If you're here to discuss Dr Laura Schlessinger, p...If you're here to discuss Dr Laura Schlessinger, please read:<br /><br />http://enny-pen.blogspot.com/2007/01/new-fame.html<br /><br />Thankyou!!Ennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15613379734506337694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-88995965297103477932007-01-21T02:09:00.000+11:002007-01-21T02:09:00.000+11:00m'sarah - Congratulations! So you were together 2 ...m'sarah - Congratulations! So you were together 2 and a half years before moving in together - that's a pretty good run (also to that you are getting married after living together so long). It is quite quaint - the whole parents to marriage thing - I would imagine it to be a pretty steep learning curve! Though the determination to not live together (and consumate the marriage in stricter relationships) would proddly ensure you fought for it once you were pretty deep in.<br /><br />The 'want it now' thing is also so true - perhaps even on the other side of 'I want to be married/have children/sex on tap' making marriage/defacto for the wrong reasons.Ennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15613379734506337694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-32744499077762426992007-01-21T00:43:00.000+11:002007-01-21T00:43:00.000+11:00adam - That's true - there's not even as much stig...adam - That's true - there's not even as much stigma on divorce these days anyway (on the offchance it didn't work out) so it's much better than being unhappy and trapped.<br /><br />And well said to d'jen!Ennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15613379734506337694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-45092333322551028272007-01-20T16:18:00.000+11:002007-01-20T16:18:00.000+11:00D'Jen, in your point 2, I think it would be better...D'Jen, in your point 2, I think it would be better for everyone then, if those dudes don't ever get married.Adamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13895864770503694877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-91366130799548873122007-01-20T16:12:00.000+11:002007-01-20T16:12:00.000+11:00I haven't read the other comments yet so I don't k...I haven't read the other comments yet so I don't know if anyone else has said this, but I don't think those statistics mean anything at all. <br /><br />I would say that the same people who have the cultural/community freedom to live together in the first place are the same who might also get divorced.<br /><br />There are still a number of cultures in Australia where it is frowned upon to leave home before getting hitched, and those same cultures would also frown upon divorces. I know the divorce rate is high, and partly it's because people may not put enough effort into reconciling their differences, but there are no statistics on how many Australian marriages are unhappy. Personally, I'd rather be divorced than miserable.Adamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13895864770503694877noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-57007616371512128332007-01-20T14:00:00.000+11:002007-01-20T14:00:00.000+11:00d'jen - I've gotten into the habit of copying my l...d'jen - I've gotten into the habit of copying my longer comments before hitting publish 'just in case'.<br /><br />I do admire the 'romance' in the living apart, but I think it's one of the rare occassions that I would worry more about the practicality - though a good long holiday would be another way to get a fair idea. Though holidays don't last forever and marriage should...!<br /><br />Funnily, I can think of two other couples where one or more of the ppl has share housed, and another two where they've moved straight from home! So I guess it's a fairly even split between my friends - though 3 of of the 4 are now married or engaged, so hopefully all signs point to 'good'!Ennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15613379734506337694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-87282108719441450772007-01-20T07:56:00.000+11:002007-01-20T07:56:00.000+11:00Awww, I typed a big comment and Blogger has eaten ...Awww, I typed a big comment and Blogger has eaten it :(<br /><br />To summarise:<br /><br />* I don't hate the idea of living apart until you are married or engaged. I don't mind either way if someone chooses to do it or not, whatever works for you and all, but I think it would be a nice idea to stay apart :)<br /><br />* I think that some guys (like The Ex) would never get married if they had a girl living with them because then they could become even lazier and never have to actually commit to anything.<br /><br />* Both parties moving from their parent's house in together would be...interesting, so maybe if both had previous experience in share houses it would work out a bit better.<br /><br />*I don't think it would be entirely shocking to move in with someone after you get married if you've spent a lot of time doing the sleep over thing and going on holidays and things.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01585397453741674520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-54671068809766095462007-01-19T19:45:00.000+11:002007-01-19T19:45:00.000+11:00jey - I guess there's only one way to find out, bu...jey - I guess there's only one way to find out, but I'm sure you'll be fine...?<br /><br />deb - that's a bit to the opposite of The Hun and I - he was at home before half with me and then full with me and I'M the undomesticated one (though I'm trying to do my best!). How long were you together before moving in together? It does suck that it's rough, though there is sense in seeing that weddings can be expensive for a not a whole lot of change (for better OR worse!).<br /><br />mick - welcome back! I imagine that moving into someone elses place - tricky to fit into their routine and their space. I've never been a part of a long distance relationship or fling-thing, but it would be a bit of a rough landing - two people can do so well in one situation or time or place and just be all wrong in another. And thankyou for your input!Ennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15613379734506337694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-7195259839296951212007-01-19T11:21:00.000+11:002007-01-19T11:21:00.000+11:00Well I moved straight in with a girl when I was in...Well I moved straight in with a girl when I was in the US. (basically because I had nowhere else to live), but it worked pretty well for 4 months. <br /><br />The only reason it did was because I had little stuff. It was her place and I was basically just a temporary visitor and we were in the 'early exciting phase' of our relationship.<br /><br />Then I returned to Australia. She stayed there. We talked about living together back home. I freaked out and broke it off with her.<br /><br />I realised that living together in a bubble of no responsibilty in the US was a lot different to shacking up back at home with family and friends nearby (ie. lots of responsibilities and distractions).<br /><br />Anyway...not sure what this has to do with anything, but living together is a necessity for me because you see all those things that you know you'll have to get used to in the long run, and it's better to accept them earlier than later.Mickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10043227164186260510noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-6087556198043675442007-01-19T09:33:00.000+11:002007-01-19T09:33:00.000+11:00i've been living with the bf for a couple of years...i've been living with the bf for a couple of years now... he moved straight out of home and in with me. Big mistake there, because he's never had to fend for himself and is utterly undomesticated, so its always been a bit of a battle with us living together and trying for find harmony (even more so lately with me being a vegetarian now). I don't want to be his maid, and he's completely clueless... I tell you, its TOTALLY sucked all the romance out of the relationship. I used to want to get married, and have a special day together, cement the committment but now I don't see the point... the romance is gone. I feel like getting married would just be a huge expense and fuss to end up with the same result. Ooh, thats a bit bitter isn't it?!<br /><br />Kinda sucks really.Debhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13577793961247561618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-40276735767940359532007-01-19T06:50:00.000+11:002007-01-19T06:50:00.000+11:00Yeah, I know that's what you're saying.
I'm just r...Yeah, I know that's what you're saying.<br />I'm just really obsessive about my living space and I don't think I could live with anyone, it's really no reflection on him or our relationship.Jeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15636805043393391891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-54119442759964288872007-01-18T22:24:00.000+11:002007-01-18T22:24:00.000+11:00cb - That's also true, though I would think it's p...cb - That's also true, though I would think it's pretty hard to live with someone and not get to know them well. I didn't realise that pre-marriage counselling was a new thing - I though everyone had to do it before they could get married in a church and they couldn't really say that you can't get married but it's just a formality and a way to get some discussion going.<br /><br />jey - As in you think you'll live with him and then move out? Because these people lived apart, then together, then apart and then broke up...Ennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15613379734506337694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-43811035967037784302007-01-18T20:55:00.000+11:002007-01-18T20:55:00.000+11:00Tho in terms of people lving apart - I only know o...<i>Tho in terms of people lving apart - I only know of one couple that couldn't live together so moved back away - they broke up.</i><br /><br />Well I hope it can be done, because I'm terrified I won't be able to live with Andy.Jeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15636805043393391891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-17259495282260504432007-01-18T20:26:00.000+11:002007-01-18T20:26:00.000+11:00I don't believe that one is better than the other ...I don't believe that one is better than the other and leads to a more successful relationship. You could spend a lot of time together and not live together, and still get to know the person really well. Or you could live with them know their little quirks but not know the real person, because say, they're not a communicator and one day you drift apart.<br /><br />Take the hype of pre-marriage counselling for example. It doesn't mean anything having seen in on both sides. <br /><br />We all take risks in life. Stuff happens, and it's how we deal with it determines whether we drift apart or grow together.ChickyBabehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12032859724317466072noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-17545967952275680942007-01-18T20:07:00.000+11:002007-01-18T20:07:00.000+11:00amanda - they were also talking about the percenta...amanda - they were also talking about the percentage of people that would have broken up whether they were living together or not, especially when you look at 2/3 marriages ending in divorce. You do make a valid point about people getting married these days - of mine or The Hun's friends, all those married or getting married have lived together first - and commenters did note that a lot of the reports are taken from data in the 80's, how times have changed!<br /><br />c'l-r - I'm biased too, but you're right - you've got to see someone in a real environment, not just when they're all done up or on their best behaviour. And I don't read them by choice, I got sent this one (the other one was a feel good for slightly chunky women about how men prefer them to supermodels).<br /><br />m - that's exactly how I see it - you don't really know someone till you REALLY know them. And surely if those people had lived together before getting married (and presuming marriage was an inevitable), they'd still be together now, yeah? It's just their time together pre-marriage is longer...<br /><br />jey - I know, I know - but it was enough to make me skip out on the gym - and the smaller size WAS tight on the handles... at least I'll be able to sit and eat and relax a little. And it's true - people can stay together just for the sake of staying together - moreso when there's marriage and divorce involved. Tho in terms of people lving apart - I only know of one couple that couldn't live together so moved back away - they broke up.Ennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15613379734506337694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-49275872612193382572007-01-18T19:39:00.000+11:002007-01-18T19:39:00.000+11:00re the dress: better to have it a tiny bit big or ...re the dress: better to have it a tiny bit big or shrunk down then trying desperately to loose weight or having fat rolls bulge out of the dress.<br /><br />re living together: The stats say ppl might stay together once married and moved in however, sometimes ppl stay married for the wrong reasons. I don't see any reason why ppl married or otherwise can't decide to live apart but still stay together. Some ppl just can't live together, they may still love the person , just can't live with them. I wouldn't dream of marrying someone without living with them firstJeyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15636805043393391891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-20954546424798280472007-01-18T19:32:00.000+11:002007-01-18T19:32:00.000+11:00I think it's a better idea to live together first ...I think it's a better idea to live together first - you're just postponing the inevitable problems of living in eachother's personal space if you don't. But having said that a couple of my friends have gotten married without living together first and although it was initially very very difficult to sort things out they're all good now. Either way, I guess it depends on how uptight you are about your 'stuff' and 'space'.Mhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16187989483280210008noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-9734153236161479572007-01-18T18:54:00.000+11:002007-01-18T18:54:00.000+11:00MrL and I have always lived together (I met him wh...MrL and I have always lived together (I met him when he moved in and then we hooked up), so I have perhaps a skewed perspective on it. <br /><br />But - I think it's important to see how someone deals with the day-to-day shit before you marry them. It's boring and all, but you get to see them in their natural environment and you get to see if both your natural environments work together. <br /><br />And I cannot read SATC. Or other sam. Them and hteir commenters make me so mad ...MissEhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11721181538007992050noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12231828.post-83503951833731876122007-01-18T18:37:00.000+11:002007-01-18T18:37:00.000+11:00I've read stuff like this before, and I think I'm ...I've read stuff like this before, and I think I'm on your side (although being single, I can't be certain).<br /><br />I think it's important to live together first, and I can see why people who live together are more likely to separate than those who get married- but what proportion of that is made up of people that move in together on a whim? I suspect there'd be quite a few, rather than people who are living together with the definite view of 'being together forever'.<br /><br />It seems crazy to get married before living together- as you said, you need to find out about their habits (good and bad), work out whether they drive you mad in confined spaces, see them at their worst etc etc. <br /><br />Also, I don't know of many people who are getting married these days <i>without</i> living together, so surely that increases the odds of this type of relationship breaking up more than married couples, purely because of the bulk of live in relationships out there. It doesn't take into account the proportion of unmarried, not living together, but still 'serious' relationships that break up prior to marriage.<br /><br />So, there's a few flaws in the article. I essentially think it's crazy not to live together first.Amandahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10346910208449972256noreply@blogger.com